that lansinoh crap stains your clothes and breastfeeding bras are NOT sexy.

I’ve been MIA for a couple of weeks.

I know. I know. You totally missed me.

Or not.

And in the grand tradition of this blog being my ultimate sounding board for complaints galore: whether it be the latest socially challenged ingrate I’ve come across at the local Walmart {as you know I try to avoid like the bubonic plague} or the fact that every single recipe I try, I seem to botch because I don’t like to follow directions and apparently think I’m the next Rachel Ray. (I would rather use my kitchen as an art studio and I can’t do EVERYTHING…) I have decided to go with a classic route of gripeage on the current subject matter, and a coincidentally HEATED topic: breastfeeding.

Of course, it will be riddled with run on sentences and unending prepositional phrases. {I’m an English major’s dream, I tell you.}

{Classic pause via flow of consciousness to go with the spazoid post: I just stopped to sniff Malone’s sweet little baby bum…because even though I just changed him, he still smells like poo. But it’s the good kind of breastfed poo. And can I just say that I don’t think that SJP is all that crazy saying that she thinks her children’s diapers smell like baked goods? I mean, maybe the baked goods comment was over the top, but I can see what she’s saying. Some of you may take the socially acceptable status quo route at this point, and grimace at the screen. But let’s really think about this, shall we? If you’re honest with yourself, breastfed diapers aren’t half as bad as the real deal…so props to you, SJP. Even though you probably don’t change your own children’s diapers. {she certainly opted NOT to have her own children via surrogate mom…} BUT I see where you were coming from with your off the wall baked goods description…{even if they did take a poll for US weekly regarding your interview in Elle and the majority totally labeled you as an official weirdo. Even if the majority of people reading US weekly have never come near a diaper, much less looked past their nose jobs and Gucci accessories at a breastfed one. Just sayin.} On the OTHER hand, SJP IS speaking to her own breed of people here …and I’m done now.

Which brings me to the ultimate segue: of breastfeeding. The second most heated topic out there, next to the working vs. stay at home moms in the young moms age bracket. {Yes, I have brackets.} I personally believe I am in the happy medium of WAHM so now you can ALL love me. I’m the happy fence rider, and will not be sharing my opinions regarding that one.

Breastfeeding: I posted recently on Facebook that I was over it. As a result, I was stormed with questions via email and in person, regarding my decision to stop nursing my child. Yes. STORMED, I tell you. Because people value my stance on BF sooo much. {Right.}

But I just wanted to give a little clarification. WOAH. Just because I am over it, doesn’t mean I’ve stopped. It just means I’m being a whiney butt via the public forum that is FB. My actual description was “absoflippinlutely over it.” {I totally invented that word last week.} But because it was a public forum, which men read, (and this blog is NOT a public forum which men read) (?) I decided NOT to go into the whole oh-my-goodness-I-have-constant-blisters-and-blood-and-massive-cracks-and-I-think-I’m-going-to-DIE-so-I’m-going-to-traumatize-everyone- TMI mode.

PREFACE: as previously established, I am a big proponent of to each his own via mom hood. I am also a big proponent of putting my children before my own needs, as a general guideline when making decisions. That’s kind of what motherhood is about, and it’s how I roll. Most of the time, I fail miserably at this. It’s hard.

I’m not going to freak out on you if you don’t breast feed. Because it’s REALLY hard. I’ll give anyone that one. I AM a fan of it because I feel like I made my way through the tough times so I feel that other people should at least TRY, because it’s God’s way of giving you what is best for your child…I’m not a freak-out-you-are-so-going-to-hell-in-a-hand-basket-if-you-don’t-BF-your-child type of mom.

So let me say this: Breast feeding. It’s not for me.

But I am thankful I am ABLE to do it. 

I personally have the energy SUCKED from me, and this affects other areas of my life. I begrudgingly hold on to five plus pounds while breast feeding, as opposed to the hugely celebrated weight loss program proclaimed by others via parents magazine galore, and I think its my body’s way of holding on to enough fat to make the afore mentioned milk. This is ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS FOR ME, and can be downright DEPRESSING when attempting to fit back into those coveted jeans. Not a good combo when I’m already dealing with PPD. Yeah I know. Wah. But when you’ve gone though so many changes…it’s the little things that can make a HUGE difference.

But this is how I view it: I made it through my pregnancies and didn’t enjoy them, even though I take them at face value and realize its not really about me. I’m making a human. I don’t really prefer to share my body for six years. SIX YEARS, people. But this is my choice. And it’s what I have chosen to do, like it or not. It’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I don’t know what my BOOBS are SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE.

And I’m not trying to toot my horn as one big breastfeeding martyr, because it is HARD. My point is, I get it. But I will continue to do nurse my third and final child…because after all, I know I am on the home stretch…and will try my best to brave my way through the horror stories I will NOT be sharing with you, to give the best to my child. That’s MY take. Not sally’s. Or Jill’s. MINE. The end.

Now BIRTHING AT HOME IN A BATHTUB on the other hand… KIDDING.

So a few questions: Did you breast feed? What issues did you have? And someone PLEASE make me feel better for the third and final time regarding the extra weight and feeding your child…I need to hear it…

I just think it’s important that I clarify…and that someone say for once that maybe it’s not the most fabulous thing next to sliced bread. And that’s okay. Just the beginning of that long list of things in this impossible job we call parenthood.  

 


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7 Responses to that lansinoh crap stains your clothes and breastfeeding bras are NOT sexy.

  1. Shannon R says:

    Breast feed both and plan to do it with the third. I am so with you on the body sharing for 6 years. I was just thinking this morning about how I’ve been preggo/nursing for over 3 of the last 5 years. Ty was the WORST!!! Being the first I did not know it was supposed to be any different. He was "tongue-tied." The thing under his tongue was so short he couldn’t use his tongue. So for the first week of his life he nursed with his gums. HOLY COW talk about pain!! I cried almost every time I feed him. I had to stop nursing Nolan at 6 months because he would not eat due to ear infections. He stopped gaining weight and after 45 minutes of pumping the night before his surgery I pumped 1.5 ounces, and that was using both udders. I felt like a failure though because I quit. I feel like there is pressure sometimes that if you’re going to breast feed you have to do it "all the way." Any change is considered a failure. I guess we’ll wait and see what this next one holds.

  2. Tina says:

    YOU GO GIRL! I can soo relate to this, although it has been MANY years {as the boys are now 11 & 12, i HAVE NOT BF them in YEARS!}. There is only 11 months difference in our boys age {BF is NOT an effective form of BC}, so I was nursing Blane while I was pregnant with Sky…that only lasted about 2 months before I was too wiped out by growing one human to make milk for the other. Then, after Sky came along, I was only able to nurse him for about 4 months {at which point he weighed 25 pounds} because of repeatedly getting mastitis {the awful cracking, bleeding and generalized infected boobs}. i sort of felt like a failure, but didn’t feel bad enough to keep doing it. BTW, i started losing weight AFTER i quit nursing…hang in there!

  3. Kate says:

    Let me first say, that I cannot stand militant breastfeeding or formula feeding mothers. It is ridiculous how poorly women treat each other. To degrade another woman for choosing what is best for her and her child is reprehensible. That being said, I have had one formula baby (he was in the NICU for 2.5 months and he was too little to nurse.) My second child refused to take a bottle, REFUSED. It was hell. The lactation consultant gave me a nipple shield and neglected to tell me that it was temporary. My doctor blew her lid when she found out. After 3 weeks of using it, I quit and it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. The thrid baby, now 5 months old, nurses like a dream. She latched on immediately and I have NEVER ONCE had any pain. How does that work??!! It blows me away that it has gone so well. Even so, I am SO SICK of nursing. Can I have my body (and freedom) back please? I don’t think this makes me a bad parent at all. If I were to quit nursing and not supplement with bottles, then I might be a bad parent, like felonously so. And damnit, I am not one of those women who drops weight while breastfeeding. Ashley, I cannot imagine suffering like you have been, I would’ve thrown in the towel long ago. You are amazing. Now please stop, the thought is making me hurt.

    For the record, I LOVE the smell of Emy’s diapers. Once I do quit nursing, I will miss that smell.

    Hang in there!!

    And for the love of Pete, will you guys quit watching Lost? It is obviously sucking the very life from y’all. :)

  4. Laura says:

    I always assumed that since I’m adopting, I couldn’t breastfeed. Then one day my mom informed me that I can. {WHAT?!} So I looked it up, and apparently some people do it. It is a LOT of work to prepare your body for it, since your body doesn’t prepare for it naturally as with a pregnancy. I felt guilty when I decided not to do it. To be honest, it was a selfish decision. But this time right now is SO stressful for me, trying to get ready for this baby {it’s practically as if I’m 8 months pregnant now} AND deal with all the extra adoption stuff – finding a hotel in SC that will sufficiently house us + newborn for a week, hiring a lawyer for the adoption finalization, figuring out what gifts are appropriate for the birthmother, etc etc. Anyway, I couldn’t imagine trying to prep myself for breastfeeding while trying to do everything else right now. And somehow I just didn’t FEEL like it was for me…if that makes sense. So while it does seem like a selfish decision, it is also for my own sanity, which in turn will hopefully benefit the baby. :) BUT…I still feel guilty. I feel like since it’s an option, I am SUPPOSED to do it. So…having said all that, I’m interested to hear if any of your readers have adopted, and whether they breastfed or bottle fed. And I am also still interested in everyone else’s comments, since I could still someday have a biological child, and hope to breastfeed then.

  5. supa says:

    TIna, Shannon, and Kate, I am SO with you. TOTALLY agree with all of that. There are just too many subtopics to touch on with this that I couldn’t even cover! I could write a book about it all.

    Laura – I hope someone else out there is adopting and can post some useful info, but props to you for even being interested, and don’t worry about the rest. it’s your choice so go with it! as far as guilt goes, I breastfed through the blisters until ten months with emerson and felt like a failure because I didn’t make it to the magical number 12 since I was pregs and too exhausted to take care of my other two (it was draining my body) my point is, welcome to motherhood-its a juggling act of being busy-and never ending guilt. This is JUST the beginning. ;)

  6. Holly says:

    When the doctor hands your newborn to you in the hospital, it’s as if a huge pile of guilt immediately is heaped on too. Why do we beat ourselves up over things that honestly don’t matter in the long run?? I was formula fed and so was Bert. But yet, each time one of mine has quit nursing, I feel bad for it. Crazy. All of mine quit at different ages for different reasons. The whole "breastfeeding creates better bonding" is CRAP. Bonding is done no matter which way you feed your baby, if you make it a priority.
    Now, as far as the good smelling poop…… Ummm, maybe I’m just weird, or my kids are, but I’ve never smelt a good poop diaper. Ever. Maybe they get that from Bert cause his…. TMI? Okay. For real though, I’ve never had a good smelling poop diaper. Maybe they don’t smell as bad as when they start on solids, but still, it stinks.
    And do I understand about the cracks/bleeding/etc. I actually got staph infection this time with Bo!!! I thought I was going to lose my mind, and my nipple at one point. But, three months later things are finally starting to look a little better. Not much, but a little. He now does half breastfeeding and half formula to give my body more time to heal. I LOVE the freedom and that Bert can help out more.

  7. Dana says:

    First, I had to laugh at you getting that reaction to that comment.. It’s funny to me that a couple of months ago, I said , "I’m so over the cold weather" and no one thought it was going to be spring the next day.

    ugh, I could go on for days and days about the mommy pressures.. It drives me nuts. And I will go back to where I always land on this…. If someone has that strong of an opinion about you stopping BF (if that were actually what you were intending to do), then they should do something to help. And I don’t know about you but I can think of a lot of things a mom with young kids could use help with. But otherwise, it’s hard for me to believe that anything but harm is intended.

    And the weight thing.. This was my experience. All but the last ten pounds came off really quickly. Then I held onto ten pounds until I quit nursing. Both times, I just knew it was a permanent thing but it dropped quickly after I stopped.