I’m only 23, but for the past year or two my mind has been clouded, negatively, with the DREAM of moving out into my own place. My boyfriend and I are in a serious relationship of 3 years and are looking to live together. You know how women go through that “biological clock” thing where they desperately want a baby? Yeah. That’s what I’m going through, but instead of a baby, I want a house.

I graduated college in May with a degree in Graphic Design. Got a full-time job, in my field nonetheless, only 5 weeks after graduation. Then my boyfriend got a full-time job. And now I’m like, now what? Why don’t I have a house yet? Why is my life sucking and moving so slow? Why do my friends, who got knocked up at 18, have their own places but not me? How are these kids who have NO jobs getting houses? What am I doing wrong? Am I not good enough? Will life ever start for me?

I tend to forget I live in Massachusetts – one of the most expensive states to live in – but seeing my friends posting their new places all over Facebook makes me so jealous. How are they doing it an not me?

I have four jobs in hopes I’ll save enough for a downpayment sooner rather than later, but it’s taking too long. I have been so impatient with this, that’s it clouding everything else in my mind. I don’t want to spend ANY money – I think, “well that $20 for that shirt can go to my house fund. If I spend it, that’s $20 less than I would have had.” Not to mention I have student loans out the butt to pay off, which is making everything harder.

I’m forgetting the little things, which were always the things that kept me the happy person everyone knew.