grandiose plans + grandiose failures

(The one where we tried to build something and it fell.)

We have grandiose plans for the back yard. Epically grandiose plans, I tell you.

But we hit a little bump in the road. And by little bump in the road, I mean we had a complete wipeout on our vintage aqua vespa going ninety miles an hour, and skid to a complete stop with a bad case of road rash and maybe even a mild concussion. Jamin suffered a black eye in the metaphorical side of failure. That’s probably what he gets for surrendering his man card, and driving a vintage aqua vespa with me… but maybe that’s just me with my bad idea of a cheesy illustration.

We were ready to complete the rest of our outdoor space to work with our handmade hideaway. Why at this time of the year? Because here in the tropics of south Alabama, is the time to enjoy such shenanigans. With campouts and s’mores. Our long awaited, much needed, back yard makeover… our outdoor sanctuary (that is oh so perfect in my head!) should have been finished this week. It’s honestly the first chance we’ve gotten since our book, and should, is the operative word.

To say it was a breezy Saturday, would be an understatement. We had visions of completed grandeur in our heads and are building an awning over our porch extension. Read: pergola. Since I’m a bit of a slight person (read: total wimp who uses the word slight as a permanent excuse and can’t really heave a 6 x 6 post on my own – I was pretty much the laughing stock of bootcamp due to my great lack of she-man-ness) we brought in a few of those fabulous minions again for some man power.

It all went down a little bit like this:

And this.

And I knew that we were in trouble, when I saw this.

Wailing. Gnashing of teeth. Bereaved planking.

A new trad in the Mills household. We now celebrate total failures with our mad planking skillz. 

Once we completed the first half of the pergola, (the most difficult half that took an entire day) a strong gust of wind came down and took it out. Barely missing 1 minion + 1 Jamin by a hair. I may or may not have totally spazzed for a brief moment. Not one of my finer ones I want to be remembered by.

Don’t worry. It took us a few days, but we’ve already pulled ourselves back up by our tool belts, and we’re ready to start again. Sometimes, all you need is (at least three) nights’ sleep for some fresh perspective. Sometimes, you don’t want to get back up. You want to have a pity party with a giant sombrero and the words ‘womp womp’ monogrammed on top alongside your collection of your best pair of holy pajama pants, your latest copy of Downton, and a side plate of brownies. (Yoga pants are for the good days.)

But then I remembered what the last bereaved planking session brought us. And because we use humor as a coping mechanism, we’re already back in the boxing ring. Happy endings are in our future on the Handmade Home side of things. I can just feel it. I mean, at least it didn’t take out a person. Or a window… rainbows and unicorns! Just call me Pollyanna.

It’s literally back to the drawing board with us. We fell hard, but we’re brushing ourselves back off again.

We ran out of help, so we actually brought in our hero to literally save the day. (Cue: our friend, Super Jim.) He’s a walking expert on the side of all things construction. Sometimes its okay to admit you need a little help. After you lay there for a while, and enjoy confiscating your children’s halloween candy by the fist fulls.

No judging.

Stay tuned + Happy Friday!

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Responses to grandiose plans + grandiose failures

  1. Mary Singleton says:

    Hmmmm….two college students and Jamin? And you wonder why the project didn’t work out, lol (just kidding). Hey, I look at it on the bright side, my child got fed a wonderful meal, and he got money for gas to go back to college :) That’s quite an accomplishment.

  2. Janet L says:

    This is hilarious. I’m glad no one was hurt, Pollyanna!

  3. Valarie says:

    Your posts that include bereaved planking are absolutely killing me!
    HeeHee-larious! Especially since I can totally relate!

  4. Y’all are so cute with your bereaved planking. I can’t wait to see how the final pergola comes out! And b t dubs… I totally agree, yoga pants are “dressy” in my book ; )

  5. The fabulous babysitter says:

    See what you get for building without Andrew and me…shame. Y’all should know better. :)

  6. How awful. Gracious, I shouldn’t be laughing, but I am. You are so funny. But this is not funny. Why am I still giggling? All’s well that ends well? Funny, I just read this verse tonight….”A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.” I guess it’s okay to have a merry heart since no one got hurt and a broken pergola didn’t break anyone’s bones??? Can’t wait to see pix of the completed project!

  7. Jami Nato says:

    but it’s going to be awesome.

  8. JennyBC says:

    Hang in there! We redid the deck this summer and ended up calling in some help to add the pergola as well. But, oh what a difference it makes! We use our deck so much more now. We love our little outdoor room and as a side benefit, my kitchen is not overheated by the sun so much…it’s about 7 degrees cooler. It will be like the sofa…I just know it!