A sweet gal named Melanie wrote in and said: I love your series on simplifying and having less clutter in your home. I am already feeling a little overwhelmed with the upcoming holidays, and was wondering if you could share a few recommendations for avoiding all of the stress with it all. Any suggestions for heading it off? Thank you so much!
It’s confession time: I’ve been in a place for the last few years, where I kind of dread the looming holidays. I know, right? Fail. At least, that’s my first reaction.
And then it dawned on me: maybe what I’m experiencing is completely (gasp!) normal. There’s something disconcerting about growing up (even though I’m 35 this December, I still look around in shock. Yep… I guess I’m a grown up) and being exposed to the real world.
There’s something inspiring about pursuit of the things that truly matter. It’s a catch 22 of trying to figure out what we can do to make a lasting impact beyond just the pretty decorations and inflated expectations in our instant gratification, microwave induced society. There’s a lot of pressure that comes from it all, and it’s completely understandable.
A lot of my frustrations come with wanting to do more for others, and expose our children to more, as well. We have a family, and believe it should be about more than just the things that come with the holidays. And maybe the reason for it all… and the concept of doing things for others, should happen all year every year.
We want to cultivate an attitude of gratefulness all of the time.
A lot of it comes with feeling overwhelmed. The parties. The presents. The things. It can be hard to appreciate Thanksgiving {let alone Christmas} when it’s bogged down with a to do list. A lot of it, starts in our home. Life gets out of control, and along with it, the clutter filters its way back in. We often find that no matter how much we’ve simplified and purged, sometimes ya just have to do it again.
If you’re no stranger here, then you probably know about our ongoing Lazy Gal Series. It’s been a never ending look at the process of simplifying, scaling back and establishing real systems that work for us in our home. We’re letting this place grow with us and work for us as a family, and it’s been an enlightening journey… something we’ve embraced as a part of who we are.
I think we have two choices: The holidays can be filled with an influx of more, complimented with stress. Or it can be about doing more, and embracing joy. Yes, the usuals will still be present. But we can make sure it’s about more. It’s a conscious choice we have to make, in being intentional about everything.
So we thought it wouldn’t hurt to do a little more to gear up in our home before the craziness of it all hits. It’s all about keeping it manageable in our world, and staying consistent before January comes again, and we’re flung into a new cycle. Cycles are exhausting.
If you’re anything like us, you may be feeling the same way. Now is the time to hedge off a little of that Holiday overload by getting your home under control before all the little things hit. Because there’s nothing better than escaping a cycle, and we wanted to share a few useful tips we love, for doing just that.
It’s all about scaling back, getting it under control, and keeping our sanity, after all. Sometimes, life can be overwhelming. Here’s a few things we’re doing right now.
1. Divide it into zones.
To make it manageable. And then hit it when you can. Room by room, drawer by drawer, it only takes a matter of days for things to get out of control in our homes, and it only takes a few moments each day, to feel better about it all.
It all started for us, with keeping it manageable. Decide which areas of your home need the most work, and divide them into visual zones for your home. Here’s an example of what’s worked for us in the past:
Why yes, I am the big dork that made an actual graph. All things self-proclaimed dork aside, maybe it’s one bag with one drawer, one day. Or an entire month dedicated to tackling it all, if you’ve never really done it before. There’s nothing wrong with tackling it again and again until you find a system that works for you, and you’re able to stick with it. That’s the harsh reality of purging. It’s a process that needs to happen on a regular basis. If we can get a head start on it before that greenery decks the halls, it’s one less thing to battle in the meantime.
Purging isn’t a one time thing, and it’s more of a lifestyle choice. So to make it manageable, find what works for you, and stick with it. It’s all about living by our choices, and keeping them realistically attainable.
2. Involve the family.
Once upon a time, we smuggled things out of the house all in the name of keeping the peace with our kids. They were too young to understand, and this just made it easier to manage. Now that they’re older, we give them each a laundry basket, and a garbage bag.
They know what to do with each one: donate + trash. Involve them, and they become a part of the process.
It will be completely different for each family, depending on where you are. But I found very quickly that life wasn’t about managing stuff for the entire family. Or else it would become my full time job, and a very ill-held position, at that. When the kiddos are a part of the process, and it really helps them to think beyond themselves. From there, we established new systems so that our home worked for us.
Not the other way around.
We have them ask these two simple questions: 1. When is the last time I played with this… do I really play with this anymore? 2. Do I think someone else out there may enjoy it more if I were to give it to them?
And not just when you purge, but a part of active conversations that give them a greater view of it all, on their level.One delightful side effect, is that it can have the added benefits of helping you with all things sanity.
3. Embrace where you are.
I can’t say this enough. At the end of the day, life happens and things accumulate: the school papers, art, and endless gathering of all the things can seem oh so overwhelming. But the truth is, this is life with young kids, and at the end of the day, you’re just getting it done. Sometimes, we need to adjust our expectations.
In speaking to a mom recently, I asked her about her home business. She responded with, “You know, just trying to find balance.” I resisted the urge to grab her shoulders and hiss “Don’t believe the lie!” At which point she would have promptly turned and run away because she doesn’t really know me that well.
The truth is, balance just doesn’t exist. I think we often confuse balance with perfectionism, and there is no room for furthering the cycle of self-abuse in my life with the endless pursuit of something that’s simply a myth. If we can just scale back on making things so complicated for ourselves, that alone will help with the stress levels.
There’s a time for everything, and sometimes we’re just getting it done, while looking for better ways to contribute to the world around us. There’s nothing healthy about berating ourselves endlessly over our faults and shortcomings. I can’t emphasize the importance of being patient with where you are, and embracing one day at a time, tackling what you can.
Have your home policies, and stick with them. Question your motives, and move forward with where you are. Don’t ever let things hold you back, because the truth of the matter is, that they’re never done. And that’s okay.
Getting a head start on it all, and being preemptive about the cycle, can certainly help with all things realistic over the holidays. It’s all about creating space in our homes, along with our hearts. And clutter, alongside the stress that it brings, shouldn’t be something added to your already heaping plate. There’s nothing wrong with scaling back, simplifying, and giving yourself a little room to breathe amongst the bustle of it all. We call for a retreat, so that we can think about the things that really matter this Holiday season. And scaling back is a great place to start.
These are a few of the simple things we’re doing in our own home, to hedge off a little of the unnecessary stress over the holidays. We hope this helps with everything, Melanie! {Be sure to check out the rest of our series in more depth, here.}
What are some things you’re doing preemptively to simplify? We would love to hear your ideas!
Janet says
I kind of needed this right now. Thank you so much.
Alexis says
Thank you for your honesty. After losing my mom, we’ve been struggling with how to store/sort/purge/handle everything in a sensitive manner and it has been consuming all of us for months. I find myself holding onto things for emotional reasons and is just hard sometimes. I love the idea of tackling things before the holidays because that’s even harder!
Melanie says
Thank you so much for your timely and kind response! I’m learning to be proactive and this is definitely so helpful. Can’t wait to go ahead and get started. 🙂
Emily Spring Cleaning says
I can’t keep the kids play area tidy. This is the most difficult area for me. I tried to involve them as everybody suggested but it is not working. They like all their toys and refuse to declutter. What can I do?
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Emily! How old are your kids? When ours were younger we just smuggled them out. End of story. If you think they may miss them, then put them in a separate area like the attic {hidden and marked for donation} and if they never notice, I say you’re in the clear – you could always start with a system like this just making sure you donate within the month so it’s out from under your roof. We’ve had a few rescued items over time, but they have slowly been eased into the process, and we’ve made them a part of it. I wrote this post a while back on the entire process, and it may help. Please feel free to check it out here! We hope this helps! Remember, there’s nothing wrong with a sneak attack ;} It just takes patience, persistence, and time. ;}