Life, if you stop and really look, is like an intricately woven timeline.
When we glance back on a span of that timeline after a few years have passed, we realize we no longer measure it the same way that we once did in our younger years.
The older we get, the faster time seems to move. We realize it’s filled with tiny, poignant moments. We look back at some with regret, and others with fondness.
don’t ask. ;}
The important ones are marked when we encounter someone, and we are altered because of that person, forever.
They are a spark. An undercurrent for change.
The origins of something much bigger than anyone can really explain. That person speaks in wisdom and truth and love. And if you have the ears to hear and the heart to listen, that person absolutely transforms the way you see things. Through patience and kindness and understanding they ignite a cultivated change. Your direction …your timeline is altered.
Jim officiated our wedding circa 2002
When that person passes from your life all too soon, that timeline is again altered. Forever.
On Thursday of last week, we lost someone very dear to us. A teacher, mentor, a cherished friend. A true light in a broken world of rough-hewn souls.
He was called home.
Someone who didn’t know him, asked us recently What is it about Jim Brinkerhoff?
Jim was a constant in our formative years. A college minister at a church where I wasn’t really sure I wanted to be. At a time when I was ready to jettison (as he would say, the vestiges) of my parents’ faith. He was someone who helped us cultivate our own. He dedicated his life to this. He altered, challenged and inspired us both as we began to take ownership of our own faith. He taught us to think about things beyond this life, and championed countless others to do the same. He and his wife Mary inspired, and continued to be a true model for us with their own marriage and family in the years after Auburn when we were no longer students.
Their lives are a testament to the things that matter. Some of the wisest words, greatest stories and wonderful memories in our lives are from the Brinkerhoffs.
A true spark on that timeline.
So there aren’t enough hours, sentiments or adjectives in the english language to encapsulate for someone what he and his family mean to so many. It’s simply impossible to explain.
But what Jim leaves behind is a true legacy.
On Sunday, we gathered. It was appropriately rainy. Overcast. And it was difficult to say goodbye. There wasn’t enough room to fit everyone into the church where they held Jim’s funeral. His impact had a greater reach than anyone really understands. The photo below is only a fraction of the people in attendance. Here we paid tribute to a man who truly grasped the concept of being Christ in this broken world. We were surrounded by so many people who came to do the same. It was a bittersweet reunion of dear and truly cherished friends. The kind of people who really get you, because you’re cut from the same cloth. They’ve been altered by the same encounter in different ways, but the message is all the same.
To make a difference. To leave a legacy of their own.
To carry on their timelines forever.
The loss of someone suddenly – It doesn’t always make sense. I’m not sure we can ever make sense of much in this world while we try to piece things together with our feeble, human minds. “Oh to sit at his feet again,” I thought in my long list of regrets. To take Mary and Jim out to dinner and ask a plethora of questions. And just listen.
We borrowed this from a dear friend who lost her husband much too soon. Jim facilitated Brad’s funeral that day, and this was originally shared (January 10, 2009).
Jim shared:
In June of this past summer, you’ll remember that Tim Russert (well-known TV political journalist) passed away unexpectedly. And among the many reflections written about his life there is one printed in the Wall Street Journal entitled “A Life’s Lesson” that caught my attention. There it is stated…
“When somebody dies we tell their story and try to define and isolate what was special about it. What it was they brought. How they enhanced life by showing up.
In this way we educate ourselves about what really matters, or often re-educate ourselves — for man needs more to be reminded than instructed.” It goes on to say, “In a way, the world is a great liar. It shows you that it worships and admires money, but at the end of the day it doesn’t. It says it adores fame and being a celebrity, but it doesn’t. Not really. What the world admires and wants to hold on to and not lose is goodness.
It admires virtue and so at the end it gives its greatest tributes to generosity, honesty, courage, mercy, talents — that brought into the world — made it better. That’s what it really admires and that’s what we talk about in eulogies because that’s what’s important. We don’t say, ‘The thing about so-and-so was that he was rich.’ Rather we say, if we can, ‘The thing about so-and-so was that he took care of people’.”
It’s true. Death is the great clarifier. In that it shows us what really matters. And so because of who Brad {JIM} is to us, this is not only a moment to celebrate a wonderful life, but also a moment to learn. Even now, if you’ll listen, Brad {JIM} is teaching us.
If we could sit at dinner one more time, I think Jim would tell us lots of enlightening and profound things in only the way he could say it.
But none as profound as the statement that has been made to us through his loss. The people he’s touched, the stories that have been shared and the truth he has again stirred in our hearts is the perfect reminder of what life is all about.
I don’t want to miss out on that, in my own life – creating a legacy and cultivating it by caring for others. It’s what truly matters.
Jim’s passing is about more than just a celebration of a life. But an endless ripple effect that will keep going because he chose to take a risk, and share his life. He was an imperfect man who used every bit of his talent to serve the greatest good. He was and is the embodiment of genuine Christ-likeness on this earth in ways that we’re still trying to comprehend.
And his reach is unfathomable.
Because of this, how can we not help but be absolutely joyful?
Even in death, Jim did what mattered. Even in death, he’s teaching us. Inspiring us. And we’re left once again, challenged by this wise man in so many ways. We want to use our abilities in this broken world to help others. We want to make a difference. We want to leave a legacy.
Our story isn’t over.
And actually, neither is Jim’s.
Last week, on that timeline of life, Jim Brinkerhoff achieved his life long goal. While we have many thoughts, the one resounding thing we know from this friend, is that he would want the word “Joy” to carry that day and the days to come. Friend, you taught us much about life, our God and ourselves. Our hearts are hurting. But today and for the many days to come, because of you, we will “stack the chairs and enjoy”
It’s hard to describe something that has touched our lives so deeply. It only feels appropriate to quote Jim: “We’re not defined by our past, but by our destiny.” We look forward to sharing that destiny with you one day.
Until then, we will continue to live out the legacy you left us with.
cassie says
i read this today, and yesterday i saw the video from emilie parker’s mom on 6th st design school, and both times i cried. but the message is clear that we are all here to do good things and be good people, and pass that goodness on to all around us… goodness can, like many things on the internet today, go viral. it’s magical when the cards are stacked against you but in one moment, in one act of kindness, suddenly they all start to seem in your favor. thanks for sharing- i am so sorry for your loss.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Appropriate for the season, it’s what this life is all about, isn’t it? Thanks for your sweet words, Cassie. We’re praying hard for his family.
Crystal says
Wow, just speechless and tearful over this whole post. What an amazing, inspiring man whom many people are very lucky to have him pass through their lives, whether it be long-term or not. Your post and everything you say is what I truly believe down to my soul. We are all writing a story and our daily actions and interactions will be our legacy. One of my favorite posts ever, Ashley and Jamin. Hugs to you and everyone who is grieving over the loss and a true angel. Xoxo.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much, Crystal.
April says
Very sorry for your loss and his family’s loss. Prayers!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, April.
Kelly G. says
That’s the funny thing about God, isn’t it? That he continually and constantly teaches us… through pain, loss, hope, and joy. It’s never about the destination, but about the journey… just ask Moses. 🙂 In a sad and broken world, people like Jim will be sorely missed. Praying for his family and friends this season-
colleen from Alabama says
Was in Auburn last weekend and saw that sign. I prayed for a family that I didn’t know as they struggle through grief. So glad that they do not mourn as those “without hope”. Praise Jesus that Jim is with Emmanuel, the Emmanuel came at Christmas and died at Easter so that there is HOPE. Thank you for sharing. I will read this to my family. We all wondered about who “jim” was, now we know. Glory to God in the Highest.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Wow. Just wow. Thank you, Colleen.
Tiffany says
I am so sorry for your loss and will be praying for his family! I didn’t know him, but I have heard so many good things about him from so many people. A legacy, indeed.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you Tiffany. They are our people, for sure. ;}
Laura @ Finding Home says
So very sorry for loss, so thankful for your sharing o his life with us.
Kristy says
Ash, these words are perfect. Love you.
Rhonda says
A beautiful tribute to a life well-lived. My sympathy to you and your family and friends.
Amber R says
Ashley, This is a beautiful tribute. It is crazy how a simple sentence can bring back so many memories, “stack the chairs and enjoy”. We must have heard that and stacked the chairs a thousand times. My heart sunk reading those words. And now my heart breaks for all my grieving friends. Thank you for bring back so many wonderful memories.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hugs, Amber! Miss you!
Maggie Fieger says
What a beautiful tribute to a great friend! We lost a 23 year old friend in October suddenly and it truly has taught me that you must live your life as true to your self as you can. Hopefully there will be as beautiful a legacy as this. Thank you for a beautiful post.
Brie says
Ashley, I am so sorry to hear this news. I want you to know that the work you do here is bringing such wonderful light to world every day. I appreciate all you do and respect and admire what you share in this space. I will you keep your family and Jim’s in my prayers.
Be well,
-Brie
Susan Krauss says
So very sorry for your loss, hun. It was an amazing tribute to a man who sounds like he was a true gift to the world.
Melissa @ DaisyMaeBelle says
My daughter introduced me to your blog a few weeks back, I saw several things that I loved, but had not had time to really look around…until today. I couldn’t help but see the Christian Student Center sign. My husband and I met at the CSC in Memphis. We too had a campus minister that shaped our lives. I didn’t show up until I was about to graduate and needed to get my life back on track. John Moreland is our Jim Brinkerhoff. I know how important those men can be! My husband decided to go into ministry himself…and we have spent the last 18 years in youth ministry. So sorry for your lose. But, so thankful for his life! Life to the full! Melissa
ashley @ the handmade home says
Very true, Melissa! ;} So sweet to have those moments!