Hellos. And welcome to a much overdue installment of youw favowite posts on this websites: Life Truths Accowding to Rigby And Fitz.
We were so overdues, we know you were wonderings if we was still awounds. We had to sneak on the computuws, and after telling Rigby to focus and stop watching the funny dog fails videos, we decided to write something for all of yous. It is time to share all the wondewful things we awe leawnings. There is this man who comes to our house and he is Mr. Vintis the animal trainer. He is the dog whisperer, and he has changed evewything, and we awe happier, even though it is hawd. He wowks with the family and with uses. As it tuwns out, we thought we were in charges, but we awe nots. We thought we own the mommy and daddy humans and we were supposed to take cawe of thems. As it tuwns out, this is not how it wowks. So we are back to share all about the gweat things we awe leawnings.
1. On baskings.
In the glorious sunlight. It is not something we have leawned but it is wowth shawing. Did you know there’s a fine awt to this? We wait until the mommy and daddy humans opens up the cuwtains and we spend hours in the baskings of the glows. Every mowning we look fow the perfects ray of light. It is absolutely wowth finding the pewfect rays and basking in its. Sometimes we butt each owthew out over the best space. All you have to do is woll on each othew to see who gives up fuwst. But neithew of us do, so you will find us crammed in one small space just fow the sunlights. We think humans should do this mow oftens. They will pwobably be happiers.
2. On sneakings.
The pawental humans were able to take away the baby gates that they were using to house train us, and unless we awe allowds, we do not leave the kitchens. But sometimes, we awe total webels, and we bust out of theres and when they find us, we sit weally still. They awe like t-rexeses and if we do not move, they can not see us. So we sit vewy still. Except Fitz always ends up wagging her tail because she gets exciteds and gives us aways. So we sneak back into the kitchens and begs for bacons or peanut butter or whatever else the humanses awe eatings. Because foods always wins and so does bacons. But sneakings is also funs because they bwibe us with tweats.
3. On sniffing of the privates.
Yes. You just read that wight. Everyone has privates. All of them should be sniffed. We awe not sure why humans have such a pwoblem with this. They keep saying things like pewsonal space but we do not see why. It tells us a lot about people and where they awe fwom and what they awe doing. If you think this is gwoss, we awe not apologizing, because this is who we awe. Humans could leawn a lot if they also sniffeds the pwivates. You should twy it sometimes. You might go to human jail if you do this, but we still think you should. Fow the sake of edumacations.
4. On eating the toys.
We do nots really eats the toys. We awe not sure why this is such a pwoblems. We like to chews on legos when no one is lookings. Except the little humans get kind of mad at uses when we dos this, so we awe weeling it in when it comes to the toys and our digestions. Maybe we will go back to just chewing on ouw own toys, even though we thought this is what it is fow. Duh. Maybe we will just sniffs pwivates insteads. We can not win fow losings.
5. On lounging.
We love sitting on fuwnituwes. But the humans have taught us not to do this unless we awe inviteds to sit on the fuwnituwes. So when we sit, we enjoy the sitting. And they basically have to wrestle us off the sofas because it is a wawity that we get to do that. It is fun to snuggles. We awe always game for some good old fashioned snuggles. We usually get ouw way when we snuggles. It is how we play the games because we is smawts like that.
6. On Helpings.
We awe officially the best helpews in the house. We picks up all the foods when it falls on the floows, we bawk at all the bad things, and we chase away the pooping buwds in the back yawds. There awe no flowews to eat wight now except the pansies and we do not like those as much… so buwds it is. We chase them all. We almost catches them. Almosteses. And then we do it all ovew agains. We awe such good helpews, we do not know how the humans has suwvived before us.
Also, if you need us to take a photos, we will be glad to jump in. Even when we awe not askededs to. We know that evewything is bettew with us in its. They keep calling us photo bombers and we do not know what this ises, but they keep laughings so we think this is goods. If you need tips on the photo bombings just askes us. We awe so good at its.
7. On fashions. Sometimes the little guwl humans pupnaps us, and bwings us to hew room for fashion sessions. Sometimes we puts bows on ouw heads because guwl powews. But usually we just end up snuggled on hew beds like this. On Wednesdays we weaw spawkles.
We love living with the humans and leawning all the new things. We awe gwowing up fasteses, and love ouw homes. Even if we do have this things called rules. Rules awe negotiable, with some snuggles, aftew all.
Until next time… #Rigbyandfitz