We received an email from a {totally sweet} reader who wrote in and basically told us that she misses the “good old days”. The ones where we shared more of our family, and more of us.
Our response?
Us, too.
Photo courtesy of Country Living via Brian Woodcock
This is the part where I feel like the insecure Neutrogena model – a nice juxtaposition, I know. Writing on the internet is where I’m supposed to confidently put my best version of my freshly scrubbed face forward. {Cue slow motion versions of me splashing my face where the water looks really cool on camera- and you know in real life there would be a huge puddle on the floor after soaking your shirt. Also, why is slow-mo liquid always so mesmerizing?} There’s a fine art to being translucent and honest, but when you combine it with the job aspect, also as “pretty” as possible.
That’s basically impossible. See what I did there? Cue record screech.
A real pickle. A catch 22. Real life is messy.
For starters, don’t we all have a few blemishes we’re not proud of? This is a weird metaphor guys, stay with me.
Be honest, but not too honest. “Can you believe she said that?!”
Be pretty, but not too pretty. “My house doesn’t look like that all the time.”
And when I share the messes, “You call that a mess?!”
I’m not complaining. But these are the residual voices that are in my head. It’s a privilege to do what we love. But I’m attempting to establish how doing what we do, can feel a little weird at times. Like it’s never quite enough. I think that I’ve regressed a bit in the sharing territory out of uncertainty. We don’t have people who have paved the way for years in front of us in the world of blogging, so there’s a lot of figuring it out, and we’re also just doing our own thing. We’re venturing on year eight with a website that I decided to take seriously, and year three for working together, full time. We’re veterans but we’re also babies in an ever changing landscape. We no longer consider ourselves just “bloggers” which feels like an oversimplification, because we do so much more. We have clients and run a business. We’ve been evolving and changing with the times, just like all businesses who not only survive, but are successful. Thus the act of shifting a bit.
But I’ll back up a little.
Photo courtesy of Country Living via Brian Woodcock
In a way, this transition, the one where we moved {and changed our lives}, has been the perfect storm for sharing less in the personal realm. We’ve really been trying to figure out who on earth we are. Our website has an interesting dynamic, I know. Someone once told me, “You never know what you’re going to get at The Handmade Home.” We’ve never been in a hard-core niche, and I’ve never been able to decide if that’s good or bad. For instance, we don’t write exclusively about Keto diets. Or turkey wrangling. Or fashion. We’re a business and lifestyle website where we share our projects. And I don’t have time for fashion.
I think that in all of what we do, writing has always been my favorite. In that moment where we can connect over “me too”! That’s where community happens. This is how friendships are born. This is how we feel a little less quirky and a little more vindicated. We have permission to be ourselves.
Writing here has been a humbling experience, truly. Because we didn’t pop out of nowhere as a successful business, ready to dazzle and impress with our ready-made client list and mile-long accomplishments. Our beginnings are simple, and you’ve been right along side us as we did this thing, growing from the trenches. We decided to flip the script so we could change our trajectory. We didn’t have special trust funds and we didn’t have a hidden nest egg. We made a leap to a pricier market and started over from scratch. It was a painful risk. Because of that, there was a little bit of this residual, “What now?” phase in the last few years.
In the shifting landscape of websites, and the downfall/abandonment of many, there was also the overthinking it phase. In our personal lives, there was the phase where we tried really hard not to dwell on the past but there was also a whole lot of that dirty laundry that needed to be dealt with, too, when we left ministry. Thus, the natural result of sharing less, while we put our noses to the proverbial grindstone because we were truly processing while supporting our family. Slowly but surely, we’re still growing together, into the people we’re supposed to be.
Photo courtesy of Country Living via Brian Woodcock
There’s also that whole, we-work-together-and-happen-to-be-married thing. Sometimes, boundaries are hard to keep in line, and work bleeds into “us” time. Sometimes the days are really chaotic and sometimes I want to cry because I feel like I’m not enough. Sometimes we argue. Because mawwaige. But those are the hard days, and we wouldn’t want to do this alongside anyone but each other. Most of the time, we love working together, despite the challenges. It’s almost like we’ve been figuring out our relationship dynamics all over again. So, again, another reason I tapered off a bit in the sharing department.
What I’ve rambled enough about, is that there has just been a lot of reformatting behind the scenes. It’s all about taking a business to the next level and evolving and figuring it out, while trying your best to stay transparent. While you stick to what makes you, you.
Easier said than done.
But I’ve realized, maybe I’m overthinking it. If you peel away the ‘extra’ things, aren’t these the issues that anyone who is in the middle of this thing we call life, deals with? At the very core, yes.
So we’re not the Neutrogena models. {End bad metaphor here.}
But we are real.
I had a moment of clarity the other night when I told Jamin, essentially, that I miss writing. Really miss writing. The simple, the funny, the real. the struggles. All of it. It’s like this voice that’s been struggling under a stifled veneer while I figured out who I am as a real adult. And I’m ready to finally release it again. A little less limited this time. And then he showed me that email from the reader, about the good old days.
It’s great to have visions of the future, and work toward goals for a business.
But I also don’t want to miss out on what we have now. Because what if this is the good stuff?
What if this is it?
And it is. In the simplicity of everyday moments. This is all we have.
So this little post is a whole lot of honesty, where I’m letting it out. I hope I’ve made it clear that I am in no way complaining. Just establishing that I haven’t written as much for a lot of reasons. This is where we’ve been, behind the scenes. And now, as most growth pains go, we’re just trying to figure it out. Again.
I’m also saying that we want to hear from you. We want to connect with you more. So our question is, what would you like to see more of?
More stories? More freebies? More real? More smaller projects? Videos {do you even like those}? Client stuff? All of the above? Less of the above? Something new? More of us? Less of us? Yes. This is wearing me out, too.
The danger of sharing a little bit of everything here, is that everyone will want something different. We can’t be Nutella and make everyone happy, and we know that. But we do want to listen to the sweet people who read… You keep coming back for a reason, right? Even if you hate-read us? ;}
We want to hear your thoughts.
This is us, tapping the microphone, asking if it’s on.
If you’re hearing us.
Writing in our little corner has made us who we are, and I guess what I’m trying to say in this oddly, self-imposed state-of-the-website-hopefully-not-self-important talk, is that we miss our roots of what made us who we are. This is us saying, in response to the sweet reader who wrote in and asked for more writing… “Yeah. Us, too.”
Let us know.
We’d love to hear what you have to say.
These shots are from our fabulous Country Living feature for the Country’s 100 Most Creative people, via Brian Woodcock photography. We thought the eye candy would be pretty while we rambled about life. If you’re just stopping by for the first time, ignore this rambly post, and check out our Handmade Hideaway series, here + here.
Lisa says
Looved this post! I miss the good ol days too! You guys are doing a great job 🙂 Do what makes you happy!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thank you Lisa!
Ryan says
What she said :).
Also, when I originally read this, I somehow thought it ended with “us too”, way up top (turns out I was just too lazy to scroll past an ad, and also my internet is slow). I managed to power through today (possibly because some form of social media post led me to believe that you did expound a bit more on the “us too”. I enjoy your writing and thanks for sharing!
Shannon A says
Love what you have to say all the time. Your design, your family, and your love show through in all. I have been reading for about a year. But enjoyed so much that I went back through your archives to learn more. And I have been rooting for you. Your writing is wonderful and the joy is so real. Keep on doing what you are doing!
ashley @ the handmade home says
You are too sweet Shannon. Thank you so much for your comments and letting us know. That means the world. Thank you as always for dropping by! Hugs to you!
Faith says
Loved this post. I guess if I had to say I missed something, it would be things I can replicate. In my home. For fairly little cash. Like I’ve made every frame, totally stolen your paint color ideas, and made a giant compass and scrapbook paper map. I LOVE taking those ideas and making them my own. Love you guys!!
ashley @ the handmade home says
YAY! I love that you’ve made all those! Yes, we’ve talked about bringing more of that back. Thank you for letting us know. We are definitely working on some of the little projects now. Good to know we’re on a similar wave length!
Trista says
I’ve been following The Handmade Home for years – at least since the Super Mario Halloween costumes. I think I initially started following your blog when I found out you were in (near?) Prattville. I live outside of Birmingham. I forgive you for being an Auburn fan. Also wasn’t Jamin in the ministry at some point? My husband’s a youth minister. The combination of your fearless home decorating (I’m so impressed by your use of color), the font snob posts, the Disney updates, the creative Halloween costumes, and your hilarious storytelling has kept me around. The story about the slipcover with that photo of you laying face down on the couch was tragically hilarious. After Jamin fell through that ceramic garden stool, I decided I would NEVER own one in my house…never. I like reading your blog for the same reason I like Bower Power’s blog. I feel like if we went to the same church, we’d be good friends. I enjoy the spontaneous feel of your posts. I like never knowing what I’m going to get from week to week. Your house updates and client posts are probably my favorite. I also enjoy Font Snob, home and garden projects, kid projects/activities, the Saturday posts. Also I wouldn’t mind more of your recipes. Your corn salad was a regular in our house for a while.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thanks so much for your sweet comments, Trista. I am so glad we could spread awareness over garden stool usage 😀 Jamin was in ministry at one point, now we’re together full time ;} We are definitely working on recipes, and I realized the other day that it’s been forever since a font snob post! Thank you so very much for your input! We’re taking notes ;}
Belinda Aguirre says
i get ALOT of emails to go through each morning. most get deleted without even reading them. but yours is the one that I always take the time to read through. What do I want you guys to write about? I have no idea. I love your random-ness (is that a word?) I appreciate your honesty. I LOVE your style of writing. it’s exactly how I think and how I write my own emails. it’s like I can actually hear your thoughts as you write them. my vote is keep on keeping on!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Belinda – this made me tear up. Thank you. And randomness is totally a word! At least I use it all the time HAHAHA
Tiffany says
As someone who’s been reading since the Supablogga days, I love the mix too! It’s understandable, as the kiddos get older, to share less of the personal stuff. (Same decision for me just on social media.) But I love your writing about the bigger picture of the feelings, life directions, etc. It’s OK that you’re not sharing specifics if that makes sense! The videos are great too, just harder to find time to watch them. And who doesn’t love freebies? 😀
Overall, your writing is fantastic. You’re just as skilled at that as you are at the home work (if that’s the correct term!). Keep it up!
Catarina says
I love your blog, it’s like keeping up with old friends. I love your reveals, how much thought and care you put into all of them and the people that live in those spaces. I come back for inspiration for my own home and also the good vibes that come from your writing. I also think that what makes this such a pleasure to comeback to is that it feels real, so while I do love home before and after reveals and don’t really find the time and energy to do a lot of the projects you share (for the home or the kids), I still love to see them.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much Catarina. Your words are so sweet and encouraging. Really. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and say anything at all. Also, total side note… your name is really pretty!
Brie says
Please write the things that make you happy to write, that you feel led to write. I would rather read content that comes from your genuine, generous spirit than something that feels forced. I love the mix of content you share. If there’s stuff you want to write but not share, I hope you have/find an outlet for that too. <3
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you Brie. You are so sweet to give your input, and I truly appreciate it. Also, I’ve decided those things I can’t write about… that’s what therapy and workouts and girl’s nights are for. Because I do aaaaallll three – HAHA!
Jen says
I have loved following your entire journey and was so thankful to stumble upon your blog several years ago. For me, I love the freebies–I am a wife of a pastor and we have a very very limited budget. From the awesome planner that I use every single year, to little holiday projects, I love everything that you do and dream of having a beautiful home like yours someday. (not complaining–we are very blessed!) My kiddos are a bit older than yours (now college/high school) so I am wistful looking at some of the things you are still able to do with your kids. You have shown so many of us how to be brave, to make our homes the way we want them to be and not the way we think they should be. I applaud you! I look forward to more inspiration! I am grateful that you still keep your faithful followers in mind as your business expands when you could leave us behind. Thank you!
ashley @ the handmade home says
You are so sweet, Jen. Thank you so very much for your input!
Brooke M says
this post really resonated with me- I’ve been reading your blog for several years and I always come back because you guys feel so relatable and “real”. i get that as your kiddos get older it’s also harder to share more about them too because they’re forming their own identities (i have 2 daughters around the same age as your kids). i just re-read your spring break post a few weeks ago- we had a VERY similar spring break here this year and it got me cracking up while i was in the trenches dealing with a tsunami of stomach flu. Thanks for keeping it real and cheers to many more years of success for you and your fam.
ashley @ the handmade home says
OH NO! Those tsunamis are the WORST! I’m so sorry. I hope everyone is better?
And YES to the children getting older now! They’ve always known it’s what we do, but we have a system in place. They are now paid {well, I might add} for appearances, and only with their permission. WE make it very clear that they have a choice, and we have a full on discussion on what will and will not be shared. I don’t want them to look back and think they were shorted or have to go to therapy or write a best selling book. Oh wait, they’ll do that anyway. But it does come with more consideration and respect, and preventative measures for necessary privacy. If I could write about some things, it would be endless content 😀 but that’s where we reel it in.
Amy says
Wow, that’s such a great strategy for involving the kids. Very respectful!
Bets says
I echo what others have said: write about what you want to write about. Life is big and messy, there’s no need to reign it in. In fact, if you only started writing about one thing — fashion, maybe (yuck!) — it would get boring pretty quickly. I think you offer the perfect mix of real life, funny stories, DIY projects, before and afters… all the good stuff. Sending big hugs to you!!!
Jen says
I like coming here knowing that I won’t know what I’m going to get. And yet, whatever the content, there is a truthfulness and kindness that shines through.
Blogging is a funny thing, isn’t it? The energy to DIY changes, kids get older, life gets messy… I recently did an exercise where I really thought about who I was writing for. Not everybody… just one person and i got a real clear vision of her in my mind. What did she like to read? What made her come visit my site over others? What would make her laugh, or cry, or bookmark my post? So now I kind of write just for her.
This is the good stuff. Hope your writing more helps you find the way back to that feeling. xo
Kathy says
Started reading your blog about the time you left the ministry and always wondered why that happened. I noticed you used to talk about church and loved that but suddenly stopped. Hope you never left the church completely and it makes me sad that you may have done so. Love hearing the funny family happenings, especially Jamin’s experience at Disneyland and when Chloe was young and rambunctious!
Julie says
You are an excellent writer, which many bloggers are not. Your stories are real and relatable, and FUN! I love that your posts are varied, the content changing, unexpected, etc. Keep doing what you are doing because it works well! If I had to suggest, don’t hold back on the sneak peek pictures inside your home….details like organization, where the dogs eat, where do the wet pool towels and bathing suits go?! These are my dilemmas at my house! Great blog, thanks for sharing. I enjoy it regularly…and love the random things in your Saturday posts!! You are also consistent, not leaving it untouched for days or weeks like others do. Thanks again for sharing your writing talent with us!
Amy says
I love the variety of what you write about! Your decorating style and taste is very similar to mine, so I love all the house projects and photos. I love your funny stories like the other day with the tortoise. I have to admit, I sometimes skip the sentimental posts about your kids growing up too fast, but only cuz I know it will make me even sadder about my own kids growing up too fast. (I have a really hard time with this.) I haven’t watched a video yet, but that’s just because I read the blog very early in the morning in bed while the hubs is still sleeping next to me. But I definitely plan on going back to watch some soon. I’ve been reading your blog for years, and what I love is your personality, your voice, and your decorating style. I’m selfishly a little sad that you’re basically done with your house now, lol. But I know you’ll have plenty more great stuff to tell us about!
ashley @ the handmade home says
HAHA! Totally get it, with the kids growing up thing. I think that’s the very hardest part! Thank you so much for stopping by. You’re so sweet to leave such kind comments. Oh – and for the record, the house is FAR FROM DONE! Master addition, pool cabana, back porch expansion… want me to keep going? HAHA Jamin just fell on the floor. That being said, we DO want to get off the hamster wheel for a while, and just enjoy developing our client’s spaces. And maybe take a vacay ;}
Amy says
Oh wow, yes that’s still a lot! Ha ha. Well, be sure to do it in your own time, at whatever pace works for you personally. We’ll all still keep coming back no matter what!
Marian@CMShawStudios says
Ashley, I’m gonna be honest. I stopped reading for a while because I got tired of product placement posts after really really enjoying the posts about the reality of the move and the process of getting the main floor of the house done. And posts like today are my very, very favorite. I miss hearing you, your voice, your thoughts. The yoga pants and messy bun version of you. It makes me feel me we’re friends and the same kinda crazy. But it is your blog and your livelihood. Balance is such a pain, isn’t it? Anyway, for what it’s worth, it was great to hear you again.
All the best,
The Other Marian
Susie says
I’ll be honest- I love the mix. The DIYs, the “here’s what we did for a client”s, the “oh listen to this hot mess real life moment, y’all!” That’s what life is for me(except instead of clients I go to work). That’s what keeps me coming back. The variety. And the handmade Saturdays to explore other corners of the internet. And the occasional puppy photos.
Jo says
I think you should keep up with the random as well. I can relate so well to that. Honesty and genuine humbleness come across, even through a computer screen. I will never forget when you replied to a comment and some questions I had about you moving awhile ago. I was so emotional that day and it’s as though God gave you the perfect words to tell me that I needed to hear. We are still in the same situation but hopeful that God will guide us or give us the strength to continue on this path if that is where he wants us to be. Please keep blogging and being you. Thank you!
Melody says
Not sure how I found your blog, but came first for the images (love your style)- also! Enjoy your writing that is random and funny 🙂
I completely understand becoming less vulnerable after “leaving the ministry” – been there, doing that. Do we ever really “leave” ministry, or isn’t it something God does through our use of gifts and talents no matter where the paycheck comes from? Something I’m wrestling through… So keep up the good work, being who and how God made you!
Taylor says
I recently discovered your blog because we are going to use your plans as a starting point for our kids’ very own handmade hideaway! But I have found myself reading so much more than that. I have an amateur blog in the infancy stages and that makes me appreciate what you guys are doing any more. Being so successful without being super niche-y is impressive. I like to think most of my readers (and definitely most of yours) are okay with the variety! It’s the spice of life 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thank you so much for your kind words, Taylor. And for dropping by! I can’t wait to check out your site – best wishes for everything exciting coming your way with an awesome venture. ;}