This time last year I had no idea we’d be where we are, now. It kind of blows my mind. We’d just finished up another year of school and though I had a few things nagging at me in the back of my mind, I figured we would go for it again next year. At first, I think I chalked a lot of our issues up to this is what you do. You just suck it up and go with it. In the fall, we saddled up again and went back… this time with two kids full time at school. But a lot of things happened at once, clear signs that things just weren’t adding up for our kiddos in the education department anymore.
We investigated a lot of options, and then realized that maybe it was time to truly re-evaluate. It was the most gut wrenching decision, because we truly loved their school and everyone that is a part of it. If there’s a huge lesson I’ve learned in life so far, it’s that sometimes you have to say no to something perfectly good to open the door for the best option. We decided to dive in last fall {You can see our entire little journey in series form, here} but we haven’t looked back.
It’s a {school} year later, and it blows my mind. We did it! No one died! I didn’t throw anything! Our children are thriving! This is happening! Relief mixed with a little pride mixed with more fear mixed with joy with a lot of prayer piled on top… I run the gamut on this one. In short: It’s the most freeing choice we’ve ever made and we couldn’t be more grateful for this time with our children.
We’ve received quite a few emails asking for updates with questions or advice on this decision. We adore all of your sweet hearts. Just know that if you’re struggling with this option and seriously considering it, you know what is best for your children. Every family is different. Follow your gut. When it comes down to it, it’s the best tool you’ve been given as a parent. Remember, this also isn’t a lifetime choice. You can re-evaluate, year to year.
So here’s a few of those questions in a post format. It’s our hope to encourage and inform in the best way possible, from our angle. We know that our perspective is only our perspective and if you’re considering this option, it’s best to explore from many different angles. Nothing in this world is harder than parenting, and if anything… know that you’re not alone in this crazy-wild, wonderful journey.
Do you regret homeschooling?
I can whole heartedly say that though there have been struggles, we in no way regret taking our children out of mainstream school. It will still be a year to year thing. Every situation is different, and some days I truly want to beat the wall and pull out all. of. my hair. But I had no idea the things that can happen when I really act on my faith and step off the cliff with something that is amazing for our family. It’s hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. {Next to parenting, as a whole} But it’s also the most rewarding.
Will you do this next year?
Absolutely. It’s just the best thing for our children and us as a family, right now. Malone will be joining the ranks full time, as he just graduated from preschool. The original plan was that we were going to wait {he turns five in the summer} to enroll him in official kindergarten. But he’s made so much progress on the days he’s at home with me, I’m ready to start working with him. This means that Jamin will be joining said ranks, also. {At least right now, that’s what I’m saying.} We can get a lot more accomplished and we can make it work with our schedule right now. I have a lot of planning to do over the summer, and I look forward to coming up with a new game plan that best suits our family.
Will you do this through the summer?
We started our curriculum six weeks late. That means that even though they were in “real” school for the appropriate amount of time, they were not working on this curriculum. I took a sanity break last week, a breather for all of us. They were worn out, and so was I. I’m coming back to it this week. Throughout the summer we will spend an hour each day on various subjects just to finish up, and keep them fresh. We would be doing supplemental stuff in the summer anyway, and this is a way to give us all a break, while still completing the curriculum. I basically plan to keep their little gears oiled and turning over the summer months.
I saw that you guys use Sonlight. Will you be using them again next year? Do you recommend it?
This is the single-most difficult question to answer. One of the scariest aspects of homeschool for me, was making a choice for our family, and then ‘going for it’ with a good curriculum. I had it in my mind that they would be illiterate degenerates for the rest of their lives if it were up to me and their education. I had no idea how passionate I really was about it, and how simplified it was when there was no longer a confusing barrier to deal with in working with them. It was actually counter intuitive.
That being said, Sonlight was a great place to start. If you need some structure and a little hand holding, if it makes you feel better, then by all means after investigating it all please try Sonlight. It’s a great place to start. I am obsessed with building up our Mills Academy Library and nothing makes me happier than all of the books that arrive with Sonlight. I jump up and down with glee when that box arrives in the mail.
However, with three children now participating, we do not know for sure if we will be using it again next year. Sonlight is a lot. The key with it is to pull from it. If you follow Sonlight to a ‘T’ (especially with more than one child) you will be doing school 8 hours a day. {Be sure to check out the link above for how we managed if you’re interested} That being said, we are attending a homeschool convention this summer and I’m in the middle of investigating it all. I just think this is a part of the process as a teacher, period. I think it’s essential to constantly grow and evolve with the process, and make sure you’re offering the very best for your family. We may very well come back to Sonlight as it has been fantastic. Now that I am more comfortable with the process, I want to branch out a little and make sure this is still the best option for us.
I’m seriously considering homeschooling. I can relate to what you said in your off the cliff post. We’re ready to try something new. Any advice? What should we consider?
Because I’m a nerd {what else is new} and this is a bit of a thorough post I decided to break it down. Here’s five things we would recommend seriously considering if you really want to make this amazing move with your family.
1. The Time it takes.
Do you have it? Jamin and I, we both work. I have the luxury of doing it from home. So we’ve made some sacrifices in our own way, to adjust for our family. A lot of parents work outside the home and that’s really hard. It’s a time crunch, and you have to have a block of time set aside each day for school. So to say it’s a major sacrifice is probably an understatement. That was so hard at first. I would also say that with the time, takes passion and determination. It takes discipline from you as a parent to make it happen.
I literally felt like we’d had a new baby and we went into survival mode at first. I went from the joy of seeing the new baby {the first few moments in the hospital} to wanting to jump out the window when said baby wouldn’t stop crying. {See: the first time they put up a real fight.} But then the baby grew and started sitting up on its own and eating solid foods and we all know that’s a game changer from the exhausting first days. The beauty of homeschool is that it’s a flexible process. Just make sure that as a family, you can dedicate the needed time daily for your children. You will get burned out. You will have tough days. Just remember that it’s not a 50 yard dash, but a marathon. It’s more about the process than ticking down that list. That list can be oh so tempting when you have a million other things to do. While your job is equally important to provide for your family, you have to find a way to make it work. Bottom line: your childrens’ education has to come first. Set aside a block of time and make sure it’s doable for you and your family.
2. A dedicated place.
I’m not talking about an entire room. You have to do what works for you. {Though giving up our dining room was almost as liberating as pulling them out of our school situation. This is me in total rebel mode.} I know myself personally, and I knew that if I was going to stay motivated… as silly as this sounds… I wanted my own organized, dedicated space for them to use for school. Even if it’s a bookshelf, or a few baskets where you can stay organized, do what you have to do and make it work for your home. Consider giving school it’s own space. It’s been a game changer for us, and I couldn’t recommend it more. Our kids do better when they can work in a dedicated space. We mix it up and some days we even have it in the hideaway… but just to have that space has been a big deal for us. Consider it.
I find all three kids nearly every day at some point in the classroom after hours. Just creating… and nothing makes me happier than to know that they love their homeschool room.
3. The resources.
Again, everyone’s situation is different. Budgets vary based on that, as far as I’m concerned, every year. Jamin and I sank money into uniforms and school supplies for our magnet school, and then took the dive and had to do it all over again with more supplies and curriculum this past fall because we kind of left everything behind when we pulled the kids out. We joke that we’ll get a major financial break this year. You have to be smart with it all. Homeschooling can be done affordably. Much more affordably than private school. You can utilize your libraries and local resources. But I’ve found a huge benefit with investing in a good curriculum, supplies and materials, books they’ve requested, magazine subscriptions, technology and games on an as-needed basis.
We try our very best to be smart and frugal, but they have everything they need at their fingertips and I never want to short them of that. I know this is a major luxury and we are truly grateful. Just be prepared and willing to invest some money into it. Do what works for your family and investigate all of the options, but be willing to do what it takes, and be ready for it up front. For what it’s worth {just a little side snippet} we were dishing out 50 dollars in gas money weekly, alone going to and from their school and spending two hours in the car every day. {A 30 minute trip one way} Our curriculum paid for itself in time and money. Weigh your options and think about it wisely. Just be willing to invest in their education.
4. Be aware of your state’s homeschooling laws.
Alabama is, I believe, one of the most lax states in all of America. It provides both the freedom and protection homeschooling families need. This can be both good and bad for children if families aren’t looking out for their best interest. Investigate up front the requirements you’ll be expected to fulfill. You will probably need to be a part of an umbrella school, and provide some documentation of their attendance at the very least. Know up front the expectations and stay on top of it. We found our umbrella school by asking around, and one of the most helpful people was a kind lady I called and blubbered to emotionally on the phone when we were making our choice. I was scared to death and she helped so much. It’s a good thing to be a part of, and stay connected with. So check it out ahead of time and know what the deal is. {See us, scrambling to turn in our attendance because we may or may not have forgotten-at least I’m focused on the right things, yes?}
5. Have a support system in place.
Homeschooling can be isolating and liberating all at once. It’s scary to feel like you’re going at it alone, and you shouldn’t. I learned very quickly who my supporters were, and who my I-think-you’re-making-a-mistake-so-I’ll-bow-out-now-beause-this-kinda-freaks-me-out. Everyone will ask weird questions. That’s fine. I’m sure I’ve said a few of them in my lifetime, myself. Until you’re walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, it’s hard to understand. You have to roll with it.
That aside, if you have a spouse, make sure he or she is on board. This is KEY. You NEED that as their sole educator. If you have nothing else, have this. I can’t tell you how many nights have been spent, reviewing tactics with Jamin. Bemoaning that Emerson didn’t want to read that day and thinking of ways to mix it up. Or that Aiden hadn’t finished his multiplication facts because he hit his brother on the head and suddenly I was refereeing a wrestling match so I actually assigned homework {read: work completed later that afternoon after initial morning work} to save my own sanity.
Ideally, friends as teachers are ah-mazing to bounce ideas off of, like little treasure troves of awesome for supplemental brilliance. Surround yourself with friends + family who are supportive of your choice… and likewise be supportive of theirs. Plan a girls night and for the love of all things sanity get out of the house. Be ready your resources that you can go to.
Keep your children plugged in with activities from sports to church and regular play dates with friends. Plan dinners or special get togethers. Don’t stop doing what you were doing. This is as much for you, as it is for them. The social thing is a non-issue for us, and we are grateful for that. Respect your children and their individual unique personalities, but do things for them and for you. Stay in touch.
This is a part of their education and just as vital for everyone involved. It’s invaluable and it’s a part of life. It can be oh so easy to get caught up in the mundane tasks of gettinitdone. But take time for life and the people in it. It’s just as important.
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I hope some of this has helped if you’re considering making this move with your family. It’s a hard choice to make but definitely one of the most amazing things we’ve experienced.
It’s also impossible to cover it all {believe it or not, I can not ramble endlessly} in one post. We would absolutely love to hear any suggestions, or questions you would like to add! Shoot or add away!
Have an inspired day!
Nicole says
Great post Ashley! Welcome to the wonderful and sometimes wacky world of homeschooling!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Nicole! ;}
Shannon | www.akadesign.ca says
Great post with great suggestions! We have homeschooled our kids for 10 years now. Gosh that’s shocking just to type! Anyway, while you’re checking out curriculums, may I offer a suggestion? We tried many approaches for the first fee years (Sonlight, abeka, etc.) until we found My Fathers World. We have used it for years now. It allows me to teach all three kids from the aw lesson plan but at their level! http://www.mfwbooks.com I’m not an affiliate or anything. We just use it and really like it. All the best in your decisions this summer!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much, Shannon! I have had this recommended so many times, and I am so much more comfortable with the whole process now, we will have to check it out. Thank you! ;}
Jenna says
This is exactly what I needed. Thank you for always being honest!!
Carrie says
Great suggestions! It is amazing how as each year goes by you get more comfortable with your teaching style your kids learning style and finding your family groove. My reccomendation is the blog “Amongst Lovely Things” she has an amazing series that just released into an ebook on “Teaching from a state of rest” it’s amazing and was game changing for our homeschool. Happy Summer!
Jenn Ott says
I second Sarah’s book! As a second-generation homeschooler, former curriculum editor, and now homeschool consultant, I can safely say it is one of the best things written on homeschooling!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thanks, guys! I will have to check that out! ;}
Catherine says
Great post! I will be checking back to see others’ recommendations as well. We dived into homeschooling half way through the year this last year and we survived too! We kind of decided to do it fairly quickly because of some issues and it was very scary at first trying to find my way. Despite some rather vast ups and downs, I feel we ended on a strong note though (well, we still have a couple of weeks to go but we are mostly ‘free ranging’ now after having done the yearly test requirement). I was so worried that they wouldn’t thrive but they did and I am so glad we did it. We do have them enrolled at a different school for this fall but if that doesn’t pan out I would definitely dive back into it again.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awesome, Catherine! Do what is best for your family! That’s what matters. ;}
Tennille Mykula says
So if you did a post about the red X desk in your homeschool room can I get the link? If not, where’d ya get it? Or did your hunky husband make that too? 😉 #toomuchtalentforoneguy I also really like the chairs. Happy homeschooling. Not there yet, but starting to consider it as we prepare to build our forever home in the country.
ashley @ the handmade home says
HAHA! Thanks, Tennille! No, they’re from target. I have the direct link and details in this post, here. https://www.thehandmadehome.net/2014/04/home-school-style-the-evolution-of-a-space/
Kylie says
Hi Ashley! Long time reader, first time commenter!
I just have a question regarding WHY you decided to do homeschooling? I’m a high school English teacher in Australia, and home schooling is not really a thing here. People do it, but it’s pretty rare. I read a lot of American blogs, and have noticed that so many of them homeschool. I find all this fascinating, and while it’s not something I would do, I’m really interested to know what it was about your education system that you didn’t agree with? Sorry if this is a bit personal!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Kylie!
When we decided to homeschool last fall, it was a hurried decision. We felt led to, but a lot of things pressured us at once. At the time, in our location, it did not feel like a thing here, either. Though since this has happened, I’ve found that people are doing it in droves all over the country. I don’t know if it’s because I notice it more here, or because it is happening that way. Though I hear it is.
When we left it was for many, many reasons. It was hard, because I was very involved in our school. I respect the teachers and staff and admire what they do, and I loved working with the kids. I volunteered probably about twice a week when I could. I am I firm believer that you invest in your children’s education, no matter where they are. But deep down, in my gut, things just didn’t feel right. I knew that I was going with a system because I thought that was what I was ‘supposed’ to do. I can not go into details here, unfortunately, because I believe a few of the teachers from the school and friends of ours who still attend the school may read here. So out of respect for them and their own choices, I can not. I in no way want to hurt any feelings or fire up a debate. Since we left, I realized a lot of what we were experiencing was due to common core. We completely disagree with the theology behind it. We started out homeschooling as a necessity, and as we continued doing it, began to see SO MANY BENEFITS for our family and realized this is more along the lines of our beliefs for what we should be doing.
I’ve covered myself in resources and books. I’ve obsessed over everything humanly possible while trying to navigate these waters and provide their education. I’ve prayed. And what I’ve found are SOOOO many more pros than cons, that we have decided to stick with it. This doesn’t mean that we will always do it, but it means that it’s been amazing for us.
I will leave you with two videos that have been eye openers for me, and a lot of it reflects my own experiences in a private school, and Jamin’s experiences in public, growing up. Some of it reflects things we had to go through, and yes, while they made us stronger, some of it was completely unnecessary. We found these inspiring and I guess we want our children to have an alternative. I think at the end of the day, when all is said and done, it’s about finding your passion in life. And if we can guide them, then I’ll take any path necessary to get there.
Hope these videos help… here and here. ;}
Kylie says
Thank you so much for your detailed reply! I’ll be sure to check out the videos. Good luck with the rest of your journey, it sounds like you really know what you’re doing and it’s really admirable! 🙂
Kelli Dailey says
I’m so thankful for your blog posts on this subject. As we get read to jump off that cliff this fall I am completely terrified and beyond excited at the same time. I’ve met with very little resistance from friends & family… so far. I know it may come, but thankful for parents like you who give us a glimpse into the home school world. You help me realize that my children will be okay -even blessed- because of this path we’re taking. Keep it up Ash, you’re a wonderful mom and inspiration to us all. 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thanks so much, Kelli! ;} Back at ya, mama!
Tara says
Thank you! This is just what I needed to hear. I think we are ready to take the plunge and start homeschooling in the fall. So many things about school are not working, my kids want to do it, and it just feels like the right thing to do in my heart. But…it’s such a huge life change and a sense of loss of the school friends and teachers we so love that I am still terrified. Thank you for your thoughtful words.
Leah says
Hi Ashley,
Way to go finishing up your first year schooling at home! Great job! I used Sonlight for one year with my oldest and was completely burned out by the end of the school year and realized I could never do it with multiple kids. Then, I discovered My Father’s World and it was a major game changer. I know it’s been suggested here by others but it completely has my vote. It’s such a great blend of the major approaches and it’s geared for teaching multiple kids. I don’t see us ever switching from that curriculum…my kids and I even love it in May…that’s saying something!
Best wishes to you!
eva scott says
thank you thank you thank you! this post came at exactly the right time. I was directed to your site from someplace that I’ve now forgotten and I spent an hour and half last night reading through all of your homeschooling posts and clicking on all the links. I had tears in my eyes because it was the confirmation my heart needed to press “GO”. My husband & I were 90-95% wanting to homeschool but holding us back was the fact that my soon-to-be kindergartener got into a top magnet school – the same school that my mom teaches! And the line in one of your posts that said, “sometimes you have to say no to something perfectly good to open the door for the best option” spoke mountains to me. That pushed me “off the cliff” as you put it. We’ve been struggling so much with the idea of sending my rambunctious 5 year old off to school all day long with someone that doesn’t love him like we do. And are days are not promised. We are a little different because I would outside the home full time and my husband stays home with our children but we are both on board and excited. Thank you for the push! I’m a new subscriber.
ashley @ the handmade home says
This is a huge deal, Eva! I don’t know if I mentioned it in my posts, but our children were both in magnet schools here, too. People thought we were crazy. ;} bottom line: you have GOT to go with your gut as a parent! praying for you and your sweet family. You will be amazed by all the good things that will come from this! It will be hard… but you will be amazed. ;}
Brittany says
I am obsessing over this. We are trying to decide whether to send our 4 year old to 2 1/2 days of preschool next year. NO big deal really, but I know it is his last year with me if he goes to “normal” school, and we ARE thinking about homeschooling. So what if he goes to preschool and loves it so much he won’t WANT to do homeschool? HOw in the world do we make this decision? I wish he could just stay a 4 year old forever. Sorry I am totally spilling it all to you. Any advice?