We celebrate 21 years of marriage today. In honor of that, I’m revisiting an all time favorite story. We share it every year. But I thought I’d refresh it a bit, first.
Because before the really good stuff…
wonderful photographs by Light by Iris
there was this
and this.
Yeah, we’ve aged a little. LIKE FINE WINE, OKAY??? At least this is what we tell ourselves.
wonderful photographs by Light by Iris
But before all this…
I thought I’d show you an awkward double t-shirt, christmas-lights-on-the-wall because that’s what you did in college kinda photo. 24 years ago, we started dating. This is probably one of our first photos. We were babies – I was actually eighteen when we met. We’re certainly not the same people that we were. I can attribute it to a lot of things, but sometimes, I think we’re just lucky that we grew together.
Life is hard enough just trying to figure out who you are, so marriage… It takes a lot of hard work. But for us, it just gets better.
Three kids, three dogs, three mortgages, one big move and a complete rehab, two jobs and one business tirelessly grown from the ground up… an existential crisis with a side of chicken fingers for dinner, and a couple more wrinkles with all the real stuff, the important moments thrown in between. I couldn’t begin to sum it up if I tried.
The heartache right along side the joyful moments – the tears and laughter, big and small, they’ve all been a part of our story and who we are. And here we are.
I’d do it all again, a million times over. It’s not easy. But we do just get better with age.
No. Really. I like my hair more, and I stopped caring so much about what other people think. So in honor of another year, we thought we’d share our very favorite post of all time. A good pair of shoes.
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Don’t you love the timeline of life? Certain events lead you to a certain place at a certain time… details are sprinkled in later, and you never really saw it coming when it actually happened? The best part, is that sometimes you don’t realize it’s happening when it happens.
It’s only later that you can really appreciate that train wreck of an important moment.
We were discussing it the other day when I realized that if I’m counting the years we dated, we’ve officially been together over half our lives. As you get older, these revelations are probably interesting little epiphanies that you note and then move on.
This one is too good of a story not to tell. I’ve been feeling quite sentimental, so now you get to suffer read along today, in case you’ve never read or heard it. Or maybe you just need a little comic relief. Obligatory disclaimer: If you hate love stories this is for you. And if you love love stories… this is for you. You see, we actually ended up ‘hating’ each other at first.
But let’s begin at the beginning, shall we? Because this is the story of how we met.
It was the fall of 1998 and I was a freshman. Think fall leaves, Birkenstocks, {Those are totally back, and I have my originals because shoe hoarder} and hot football games. In the tropics of south Alabama, we should’ve been donning our latest fall clothes just like all the tired college movies portray, but we couldn’t because sweaters + heat exhaustion is how we rolled. Auburn University was my alma mater of choice, and I traipsed to class charmed by the romantical notions of old clock bells, cobblestone streets, and fresh beginnings.
I had arrived.
I know. How original.
I think it’s important to note that I’d broken up with my high school boyfriend. No, we weren’t the four year, steady sweethearts type. We were the out of convenience, through my junior year, I-just-got-to-college and boyfriends-are-a-real-drag, because college-is-fun, type. We pretty much beat a dead horse for nearly a quarter of school, but we’d finally called it quits. For. Ev. VER.
Dobby is a free elf.
Before I knew it, the first week of December was here.
I was rooming with one of my closest high school friends at the time… in a dorm room on ‘the hill’. The hill was supposedly better than the quad because you were able to share a bathroom and not die of heat exhaustion- our dorms actually had air conditioning. The downside, was that we also had suite mates who would frequently wake us in the middle of the night with the joyful sounds of bodily fluid rejections in the wake of a party aftermath. Hashtag collegememories. Either way, It was my first chance to try my mad decor skillz. This included an awkward art project that pretty much encapsulated all of my limited views at the time {my pointillism depiction of Jesus was equal parts edgy and humiliating} along with a few token Anne Geddes/Jared Leto posters.
So much embarrassment.
No regrets on the Jared Leto part.
Side note: Wanna feel old? My daughter had her friends over last weekend, and they were talking celebrity crushes. They asked to see mine. When I showed them a photo, I A. couldn’t find one where Jared doesn’t think he’s Jesus {see: hair and cult and} B. they totally side eyed me because OLD.
But back to 1998: It was my chance to hone in on my ill-acquired decor taste and I absolutely ran with it, topping it off with a bed-in-a-bag from Bed Bath and Beyond, and wait for it… Christmas lights strung precariously around the room. Colorful. Christmas lights. You haven’t been to college until you decorate with Christmas lights. It was a vibe.
Picture all of this set to the moody background anthems of Third Eye Blind. With a side of Alanis’ sophomore album. It was cringe-worthy. I would dig out a photo to show you so you can laugh, but I can’t find one.
Oh wait.
I kid you not. Behold the original gallery wall. If you ever start to feel bad about yourself, just remember my gingham-clad Anne Geddes Jesus pointillism art collection. Who knew I was going to make a career out of this? WE DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING.
You can always turn it around. You’re welcome.
We’d decided to go to a party that night. No. Scratch that. I decided to drag my roommate with me to said party, and I think she went with me out of a mix of pity/nothing better to do at the moment. It wasn’t just any party. It was a 60’s party. Because nothing says Merry Christmas quite like mood rings and plaid tweed.
No, I don’t know who was in charge.
I had it all planned out. My costume that is. I’m going to sound like I was totally into myself, and that’s because I was. This was my freshman year of college, remember? The heydays of vanity with all things Bioré strips {totally back, according to my 15 year old} and outfit planning because we all had time for it even though we thought we were busy. I had a pair of killer pants from Abercrombie. Let me clarify that they were probably my only pair of pants from Abercrombie when my pre-children birthing bod could still fit into such nonsense. But they had these awesome pockets that gave me a perky bum, and they were totally bellbottoms. Khaki bellbottoms. My favorites.
My roommate and I ventured to this store the day before. One of those types on Main Street run by art school goths before there were hipsters {which makes them the hipsters of hipsters?} selling overpriced vintage finds. You know, the kind where they beat us to the thrift store and then tripled the price, and we purchased said shirt because we’re dumb. We found the perfect 60’s shirts to don and why am I telling you this? Because I topped it all off with the perfect pair of shoes.
It was all about the shoes.
I’ve always had an obsession with shoes.
A bit of a back story for the back story: I still have said shoes, because I could never part with an epic pair like these. I purchased them on a solo summer trip to England – the kind where I’m supposed to find myself, visiting kind relatives who were so sweet to show me London. I didn’t find myself, but I did find the perfect pair of shoes, which at this age, was much more important. I was walking on the sidewalk when they were sitting there, just gleaming in the sun. They called to me from their British perch of awesomeness practically asking me to wear them home.
Tally ho, bish. The Queen of England was jealous that day. I may or may not have been featured in the high school yearbook with these puppies. Never mind that I was on the staff. Never mind that one of my close friends took the photo. This is not of importance. They were the shoes.
Exhibit A: {is for awesome}
I know what you’re thinking. A clown decided to become a cobbler and wield these puppies straight from the dashboard of a salvaged 1970’s Cadillac.
He probably did, and that’s why they were on the street that day.
But back from that thought derailment: If a future me had skidded to a fiery halt out of a DeLorean to tell me that very night that I would meet my future husband, I would have laughed in their face, aghast, and then eagerly scanned the room. Isn’t this the stuff fairytales are made of? I was standing at a party. In amazing shoes. Waiting for that moment I’d only dreamed of all of my life.
Yay stereotypes.
I was in no place for a relationship, mind you, and let’s not forget the part where I was a teenager. My brain didn’t even wake up until 30.
We sauntered into the party a little late, grabbed a table with some other freshmen I recognized and tried to play it cool in the back. We had vague conversations and everything was kind of a blur, until they decided to MC the party with a game. The game was “Let’s Make a Deal.” {Yes, this was a highly organized party circa 1998.}
We sat through a few cycles of typical gameshow eliminations, a little bored with the inability to make conversation but humored by bad prizes and embarrassing moments. When suddenly the “Host” announced: “If you’re wearing platform shoes, please come to the front.” A slew of gals were edging their way to the front of the room, when a guy at our table looked down. “Whoa. Those are platform shoes. Go to the front! Go Go Go!”
The entire table was practically chanting, pushing me, and I {a little reluctantly} made my way. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure they wanted to see me make a fool of myself because boredom. It serves me right for wearing Cadillac remnants but there I was, in the front by my slightly awkward self. One of the very last contestants stumbling forward; these shoes were un-walkable.
I pretty much stood to the far left of the crowd, because I don’t do performances. This round started out with lots of contestants, but one by one, they were eliminated. I have no idea why I lasted so long, or what guesses I made. Maybe it was my competitiveness showing a little. But I was all, Dude. I am going to win something good. I just knew it.
And then I realized it was just the host and me. All eyes. On me. Just. Me.
I swallowed, blinded by the spotlight. Yes, there was a spotlight. This was my moment. It was time to make a deal.
My options: A 3-liter bottle of generic soda… or door number 3. Hmmmm. I was a college student, and in retrospect, I should have gone for the soda. But I was also a Freshman, and hadn’t learned the fine art of non-discriminatory choices on a budget as in my mind, this was not Coke. (See: Diet Rite.) I could have used it for a few finals and caffeine jolts in the coming days. But something stopped me. Curiosity killed the cat, and the crowd was shouting their choices.
In retrospect, I blame it all on peer pressure, and the heady prospect of winning something better.
“Door number three.” I squeaked.
If this is my childhood dream… if I was brainwashed hopelessly by Disney and all things princess movies with ridiculous expectations, and I was about to meet my future husband…
This was the moment.
I was that girl. Standing in a good pair of shoes.
So awesome. So weird.
But really, scratch the Cinderella bit, because that part will come later. It was more like the ballroom scene from The Labyrinth. You know the one. She’s wearing that awesome poofy sparkle dress with a slew of 80’s ribbons and sleeves that are larger than my head. The dress of all dresses. David Bowie is huffing moody anthems at her while he slinks about with a weird owly creature mask.
{I was too young to know David Bowie was rocking his role. I just wanted to know why he was so pretty, why he was old enough to be her dad, and why the peach lipstick – Important questions that needed to be asked by a fifth grader at a slumber party.}
But then she breaks the giant (bad 80’s graphics) mirror, and she’s again surrounded by bleak reality and weird muppets.
If this was my childhood dream, I just broke the mirror of ridiculous Disney expectations in a much darker Jim Henson flick, and there’s nothing my DeLorean riding self could do about it.
The game show host put on his best Bob Barker voice. The door opened while the crowd erupted with laughter.
“You’ve won a date with Jamin MILLLLLLSSSSS!!!”
This is a photo from later. No bell bottoms. No actual singing. Just us, being stupid.
But there was no David Bowie/ sexually confusing moment, because Jamin Mills makes the most unattractive female I’ve ever seen.
A short skirt. Wonky boobs. Tangled blonde wig. It was definitely a Norman Bates went to college in his mom’s clothes moment. And he definitely stopped to strike a pose: hands on hips, twirling his hair.
More laughter.
There he was. In all his glory. And he was suddenly… like a football player in heels… charging at me?
College.
Infinite roars of hysterics, in a room full of people I didn’t really know, while this guy scooped me up into his arms, and… ran some more. My stringy hippy hair flying behind me… shiny Cadillac shoes clicking together awkwardly, sock boobs in my face.
I’m still impressed that he ran in those heels.
Together we exited, stage left.
The first act was over, but that was just the beginning.
I don’t remember what he said. I don’t remember what I said. He promptly placed me in the dark off-stage area, and I’m pretty sure my face was twenty varying shades of pink while I awkwardly thanked him for putting me down. I righted myself, picked up my last remaining shreds of dignity, and hobbled back to the table in my British clown shoes. With the other freshmen. Right where I belonged.
I laughed it off, but on the inside, I’d totally blown it with the Diet Rite.
In reality, I had no idea what I’d really just won.
And all because I was wearing a good pair of shoes.
{I continued this one due to requests… read the rest of the story here!}
Jamie says
I love that this really happened… Can’t wait for the next part!
Lee Vinson says
Ashley, I literally laughed out loud when I saw those shoes!! They truly win the prize for the funniest shoes I’ve ever seen in my life! And believe me, I had some horrific ones in my day. I was in the midst of raising children when those shoes came out, so I totally missed having those glorious shoes. Love your writings.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thanks so much, Lee! ;} Hurray for awkward fashion/social/everything moments that we can laugh about later, right?
JT says
This is amazing. That is all.
Jenna says
That is one amazing dorm room! Hysterical! I’m really trying to picture Jamin in drag. I am so glad you shared this today!
ashley @ the handmade home says
He was oh so pretty!
Anna @ A Good Home says
Lady, you better NOT come back at us with a door DIY tomorrow! I NEED THE REST!!! I mean, I know the end, but I want more of the awkward middle!
Also, your dorm room is amazing. The pointillism Jesus. I just can’t even. I’d just been on a mission trip to Russia the summer before college and had a huge 3×5 foot Russian flag covering the entire wall above my desk. Sort of like a mildly terrifying Jesus’-eyes-staring-across-the-room picture, right? My poor randomly assigned roommate. She was the sweetest girl and totally put up with my clueless teenage Jesus freak self. Subtly was not my thing.
ashley @ the handmade home says
That should be my new blog. Pointilism Jesus. Googling now. Yay or giant missionary Russian Flags! Yay for early college days of awkwardness ;}
Abbey says
Ha love it! And can’t wait to hear more. Classic with the hanging of the dried roses and, of course, the Labyrinth! 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Oh yes! Where would our earlier years be without hanging the roses? HAHA! I thought I was soooo stylin’!
Cristina says
Oh my heavens…how did you get a picture of my dorm room??? The lights, the dried roses, that Anne Geddes calendar of the little naked baby in the dark hands…I had it ALL. {minus, of course, pointillism Jesus…} LOVE IT.
Layla says
This is so romantic/funny! Pointillism Jesus is my favorite thing. Officially. And oh the dried roses! I had dozens of them and still do this day find petals in my childhood room!
Cecilia says
Oh.my.goodness. That is just too funny! Those shoes. hahaha. I can’t wait for the rest of the story!!
Katherine says
I remember those shoes. A perfect pair for any dress 3 inches from the floor when kneeing.
Katherine says
*kneeling
ashley @ the handmade home says
bahahahaha! #dhall.
Kara says
This is hysterical! I am like Paul Harvey….ready for the rest of the story! Cheers to true love! <3
Abby @ Just a Girl and Her Blog says
Oooh you left us hanging! I, too, find it hard to believe that you waited this long to share a story this good! What fun memories! And I love that you still have the shoes. Awesome. Can’t wait to hear the rest!
~Abby =)
ashley @ the handmade home says
I am full of tiny gems like these. ;}
Laree @ Ever Heard Of Euless says
ok, I’m hooked. Someday you seriously need to write a fiction book – I would be in stitches through the entire thing!
Melinda says
I started college in the fall of 98, too so this post was particularly amusing to me 🙂 My sister had that same bedspread and my dorm room was very similar to yours. Ahhh, the memories of the late ’90’s 😉
Carol Ann says
Only in Auburn. War Eagle.
Anna says
Just reading along… “If you ever start to feel bad about yourself, just remember my gingham-clad Anne Geddes pointillism art collection. You can always turn it around. You’re welcome.”
Hilario… A good reminder that all is not lost, and you can still whip it into shape — it’s not too late to get it straight! : )
Elizabeth says
I had the same bed-in-a-bag in my first off-campus apartment! 🙂 And we celebrated 15 years on August 11th… also have crossed the “half our lives” milestone. Fun post. 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hilarious! We’re like the wonder twins. Congratulations!
Rust says
You’re good. Really good. I have finger marks around my neck where you grabbed me and held me firm with your words until I reached the very last one.
And you’re bad. Really really bad, for making me wait to find out how this story ends (begins?).
I adore your writing style. Just love it. (And believe me, I’ve been a voracious reader for 50 years so I know what I am talking about when I say you have a rare and wonderful talent.)
Rust says
I read ’til the end. What a wonderful way to start my day. Thank you, thank you!
Shirley says
Love this story- not the typical girl meets boy etc…And it even had David Bowie in it who never stopped being cool. Sigh…
I had some shoes in that style but mine where brown fake croc. I called them my Minnie Mouse shoes.I loved them but everybody laughed at them. It must have been the style in England then. Roll on Part 2!
Cathy says
To be continued? Oh- how could you leave us hanging like this!
I can’t wait to hear the rest of this epic event!
Kaye Hightower says
I love your story! My name is kay, I don’t have a blog but I visit your blog daily. I think you have great taste, a beautiful home & family. But how are Rigby and Fitz? I love them….. (too cute) that is all. ;0)
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thank you for your sweet words and for stopping by! They’re doing great and as rambunctious as ever – at my feet fighting for attention as I write this! ;} I should have more photos of them – we’ll get to working on that – promise they’re still around as just as a part of our fam as ever. ;}
Ev says
Our husbands can never met. Mine has had his Jeep go for a float down a flooding creek, rolled twice, and caught fire. He had that Jeep from 1997 til 2016. I was over the moon when he finally decided to sell that red monster. Southern boys. (Lord save me as I’m the mom of 2 southern boys and I have the ER bills to prove it.)
ashley @ the handmade home says
HAHA! LOVE this.
Oven Fresh Cake says
Great Post!! Absolutely amazing.
Audra says
Happy Anniversary! Loved your “meet cute” story! Those shoes are epic! 😁 War Eagle! (c/o ’95)
Anne from Simply2Moms says
Oh my gosh. I absolutely love everything about this! Also, hellooooooo Jordan Catalano… 🤤🤤 I’m bookmarking this so I can come back to read the rest in the car this afternoon. You two are utterly adorable together!
Barbara says
Great to read your love story again! LOVE those shoes, in fact I once dated a guy who wore similar because he was shorter than me- this was back in the 70’s where they were pretty acceptable:) Your dorm room looks much like mine too. WAR EAGLE!!