cadbury karma

Because I spent the weekend with sick children, and we rested with movies and snuggling. It was the first time in a long time that we had a true Sabbath. I was in all family/rest time mode. So I’m hoping our awesome readers will forgive me this indulgence as I decided to recycle one of my all time faves. {Originally shared on 2.18.11}

____________________

It’s that time of the year again.

via

Any of my fellow cohorts know exactly what this photo means. The Cadbury creme eggs have been released for yet another glutenous springtime free-for-all.

I’m kind of known, around these here parts, for my absolute obsession. In college, I had dates bring me the eggy goodness before we went out, as an alternative to flowers. Like I was some kind of fat kid, and the only way to my heart was through Cadburys and their gooey fabulous goodness. Meh. It totally worked. I was all, “you get me” and “let’s go out again.” the moment they handed me that box, even if the date was a total bomb.

So about a month ago, when I prematurely found a box of them at a gas station on our way to our friends’ beach house, I joyously grabbed up two: one for now, another for later, and hopped into the car to give myself a long-awaited bliss.

No, not two boxes. Two eggs. I was showing discipline…

Partay in the mizouth.

So, back in the family mini, I did a happy dance with my two treasures. Jamin fully understood the excitement of the moment for me, as I handed him his requested candy bar. He then asked the obvious, if they were left over from last year. (He knew better than to ask if one was for him-I’d actually come back out to the car and offered before making the purchase).

I should have bought more, and I knew deep down it was an early release. Remember, this was before the whole Halloween egg thing and in January. Cadburys were more of a rarity. (I think the gas station people were breaking some international Cadbury regulations or something. Cut to giant Easter Bunny cuffing the gas station peeps and loading them into some creepy kidnapper van never to be seen again.)

Via the best post ever

I had a slight panic attack before unwrapping that wonderful rainbow of a foil wrapper, but my fears were silenced in that first bite. Any fellow egg lovers out there know that one of the worst things that can happen to a Cadbury egg is opening it with the outer shell cracked, having it’s gooey inner goodness slightly dried, and partially gummy. At that point, it’s just not worth the calorie intake. If I’m going to blow the last of my willpower for losing a few pounds before swimsuit season on a major splurge, it’d reeeeeheaally better be worth it in the fat girl department.

 

via

But you know what the absolute worst thing that can happen, to someone who has excitedly found an early release of Cadbury eggs and purchased them at a gas station for over a dollar a pop {which should really contain GOLD on the inside because of their ridiculous pricing}…………?

DO you?

Having that one remaining Cadbury egg STOLEN.

Unbeknownst to me, our friend Martin loves them, too. I really had no idea at the time. Probably as much as I do. But Martin is British. And over in the UK, they have Cadbury eggs year round. He got to enjoy them all year growing up. I think the vending machines even carry them over there. Therefore he does not understand the rules in this game of shameless Easter egg coveting. (Strike one.)

And when we pulled up to the beach house, it was still very cold out, so I totally left the other egg in the car. Partially not thinking to take the time and unload one egg, since it wouldn’t melt, and deep down, avoiding the idea of someone ingesting said egg, because at this point I realized what I treasure I had in my possession.

The next day, Jamin and Martin hopped into the mini and took the kids to see some old historical landmark cannons, while Andrea and I stayed behind with the babies.

And Martin, who also equally loves the Cadbury eggs, joyfully partook in, and enjoyed my blissful chocolate without even so much as a reluctant care as to what he was doing with my early-found treasure. (Strike two.)

 

via

Later on the way out to dinner at Lulu’s, excited about a night out with music and good food {even if the kids wailed and pooped their pants} I looked down to see the remnants of the Cadbury foil, carelessly tossed in the middle of the console. Like lonely, leftover confetti after a missed parade. Disappointment in the form of shiny, empty promises.

Utter devastation.

You see Martin is, at this point, no better than a common murderer. He joyfully ingested MY treasure, but he’d completely failed to have the common decency to cover up the carnage he left behind. There was no mistaking that the egg was missing, or had innocently rolled out of the car. He’d taken what wasn’t his, and then shamelessly left the evidence for me to find. (Strike three. Times eleven.)

So a furious verbal flogging ensued, with Jamin, the person I trust with my life. The person I gave my name to. He allowed this to happen. Betrayal at its finest… because he took the knife… and twisted it. Had he no desire to defend my honor? No desire to salvage my beloved Cadbury egg?

And the furious texting ensued, as the theif was in the other car (4 adults + 5 kids) on our way to dinner. (Text below = way better when read in white trash redneck voice.)

For the record: Yes, it was extremely petty for me to freak out over a Cadbury egg to our kind friends who invited us to their family beach house. I think he saw it as an egg tax or something. But he didn’t even ask.

Because I would have said no.

That’s how I roll.

Nothing comes between me and my food love.

For the record after that, it took a few more weeks for the eggs to be “officially released.” And for the record, I think that Martin stopped at about twenty Walmarts before he found his own stash. I shamelessly took photos (Jamin was kind enough to immediately gather for me out of sheer repentance when he found some at the local Walmart) of my own fabulous collection of Cadburys and sent them to him. I call that Cadbury karma.

For the record, Martin finally located and purchased an entire box, and probably ate them all in one sitting. There was lots of Cadbudy-jealousy-texting. I was happy for him.

Kind of.

Andrea and Martin came to our home a few weeks ago. I shared my stash for dessert after dinner. I’m not THAT selfish.

Though I limited him to one.

And for the last few weeks, Jamin and I have hidden in the kitchen, and shamelessly stuffed them into our mouths. And when the kids walk in, and ask us what we’re doing, we drool out the words “NUFFING!” and then turn our heads so we can continue to enjoy the gooey goodness in quiet, blissful secret.

 

via

Because something that good, just can’t be wasted on naive youth.

Maybe I’ll save some for their Easter baskets.

Is there anything out there that you love THIS much?

See: More than friendships and your own children. 

UPDATE: I totally had a box of these puppies delivered at my doorstep today. I may or may not have jumped up and down and squealed like a 16 year old girl upon receiving this peace offering from the Harris clan, though I credit the thoughtfulness to Andrea. I may or may not have already eaten two. I will continue to accept donations from any of you who also feel so moved to continue my gluttony to anyone who can find them now that they’re on sale after Easter. Thank you.

Happy post-Easter gluttony, peeps!