Mama said it would get worse, before it got better.
No, like, she really said that… last week. When I called her bemoaning about all the things that needed to happen to make this move actually happen. To trek to another state while also trying to homeschool {hilarious} while {trying to} run a business and relocate it {also hilarious}. Wheeeeee! I know some of you guys are professionals. Let’s just establish right here and now that you amaze us because we’re total novices and think we may die. Adulting is hard.
{If you have no idea what we’re talking about… we sold it whilst frolicking in Disney here + shared a little of our fixer upper, here}
As luck would have it, my own parents sold their home right after us in the same area, and moved two whole weeks before us to Nashville. It all happened at once, after we all waited for a year.
And I was all…. They left us. They left us! Cue the not-so-subtle panic attacks as I realized everything that needed to be done.
So I totally played it cool and sent passive aggressive texts with photos of the kids buried in boxes and various, carefully composed avalanches to make it look like total destruction riddled with death traps. I’m dripping in sarcasm, of course, because they’re coming back… and I’m kind of glad we ripped off the whole let’s-do-this-bandaid at once.
So we thought that rather than writing on obliviously while you wonder what on earth is going on with us… {Because we have plenty of grilled cheese recipe posts to keep the old site running in the meantime} We thought we’d complain drop in for a little update. It’s always fun to commiserate through the craziness of others, yes?
There are children in there, somewhere.
These photos were taken before we reached chaos level hideyokidshideyowifeeatallthecadburyeggs. Enter stage left, my amazing mother in law who swooped in to save us for three days. She even brought food, because at this point we’re like rabid monkey zombies stuck in a sea of collapsing boxes, and homemade chicken casserole is a balm for the soul. I may or may not have done a happy dance when I triumphantly fit all of the homeschool curriculum in one box for our current living space while our new home is whipped into shape… and then realized it was too heavy to carry. This is not my thing. I even lost the dogs for a while. They’re blending in with the boxes.
One of her many hidden talents, is that she’s a pro moving box packer-upper. Yes, this is a thing. While I kind of sit and mull over the best possible fit for my grandmother’s candy dish because even loading the dishwasher gives me anxiety and I have issues, she’s playing a live game of Tetris and completed three boxes.
I may or may not have even called her a beast a few times, and I meant it in the most wide-eyed, amazed with absolute complementary appreciation, possible. I haven’t gotten out in a while, so she knew what I meant.
So a sweet reader asked for moving tips/advice. Meanwhile, I’m basically sitting in a heap of boxes and tape and bubble wrap questioning the hard things in life. Like, why do I exist? And did I just pack my phone? Will this break if I shove it here?
Followed by…. Can we just have a bonfire, and dance around it in the back yard? {refresh if it’s not loading because this is basically me}
To dole out moving advice is kind of the equivalent of people posting on how they “sold their house in a week” and “declaring it a thing” on Pinterest. And I’m over here like, Geee… I really hate I didn’t read that and follow their advice. I blew it and could have sold our home sooner… #itsallaboutthemarket
So in the grand scheme of all things insanity, and humor to get you through anything… here’s a few of our real tips:
• Don’t start with the kitchen.
You’ll feel like a loser, it will take you four days, and even when you walk away to start on something else, you’ll remember grandma’s collection of cheese plates you felt too guilty to get rid of stashed in your top obscure corner cabinet four years ago. With price tags on it from your last yard sale. We didn’t register for fine china when we were married, and all the sweet gift givers {because we’re not total ingrates} were mad or something, and showed up with crystal/fancy silver pieces anyway. I refuse to guilt move it so it can sit in my cupboard for ten more years at our next place of residence. Help us all.
• Keep a steady supply of caffeine accessible Preferably in a drip.
The whole morning-and-afternoon coffees a day with sips and microwave warmups in between brews thing, is starting to wear on me. The next time I give you an update I may be all, cocaine. So there’ that. I probably need to calm down. But don’t tell me that, because I’ll just start crying.
• Don’t start with sentimentals.
Before you know it, you’re pouring over baby books, wondering where your life has gone. Suddenly it’s Wednesday, and your entire face is so puffy that you look like one of those weird fish {see below}. You’re actually covered in stale pizza remains and your own snot. The kids stopped poking you and asking for things 24 hours ago because they thought you died or finally had a real live meltdown or both, so they’ve fed themselves graham crackers and assorted sushi leftovers from the fridge and are wondering what to do next.
• To prevent cabin fever leave the house occasionally to breathe some fresh air. And maybe get some perspective on life that you’re not going to die and these are total first world probs.
Except Jamin actually made plans tonight, and leaving often takes maintenance. Like, peel yourself out of your yoga pants, wax your man stash and shave your big toes, maintenance. It’s been a while. So you’ll probably find me in my three inch root rot, crying over old baby photos instead. I wonder if I can fake the whole ombre thing? Wait is that still a thing? It’s been a while since I left the yoga pants.
• Don’t start with your clothes.
You’ll just throw things and start crying. Because crying is a thing.
• If you can’t find your children
You probably a. packed them on ‘accident’, b. unintentionally gave them unlimited screen time just so you could think, and only found them when they decided to emerge and ask for food with glassy-eyed expressions. No judging. We do what it takes.
• It’s the Nike slogan.
The equivalent to just do it. Scream the battle cry and run in with your bubble wrap, and wrap all the things. I guess start with a bathroom or something easy, because I’m still confused and can’t really function anymore. I’m pretty sure I just wrapped the toothbrush we use to clean the grout in our bathroom, and I have three levels of importance for boxes: fragile, really fragile and if you break this I’ll gut you like a fish, fragile. For Naaaarniaaaaaa!
Except bubble wrap is really expensive, and stores are super proud when you run out at seven at night, because you caught your kids rolling around in it. And when you asked them why they got all crazy and started rolling around, it was because you “packed them up” and told them to “be quiet”. Kids these days.
Okay. Your turn.
We’d love to hear your packing tips + hacks because we did read the one where you use cling wrap for your jewelry and that’s super helpful. Or was that foil? I’ll let y’all know when I try it. ;}
We’re running out of time before we start labeling everything as “crap” and throwing it out the front door. See y’all on the flip side.
Denise says
This is the best list of packing advice I have ever read!! Laughing out loud this morning! Hang in there! It’s going to be ok!
Anna says
Oh my gosh I can’t stop laughing. Thank you
Cindy in Oklahoma says
We moved almost 4 years ago and your crap label is not just funny… it is truth. I finally took my last box of crap to Goodwill a month ago. I kept going into the attic for this or that and seeing a box of nothing really and decided that was just silly. It’s gone to Goodwill heaven. And sometimes I reach for something that was probably in it and say, “Crap!”… so yeah, your crap label is perfect!
But seriously…. Here’s my best tip. Don’t pack all the bottles of wine in a box you’ll forget about. Drink it now before a month in the garage in July ruins it. Solving two problems at the same time. That’s what I’m here for….
ashley @ the handmade home says
This tip is excellent ???
Elizabeth S says
Oh, yes! And on the same note, make sure your coffee make doesn’t even go in a box, but gets stuck in a tote bag or something and travels WITH YOU, your purse, phone and the box cutter/scissors,toilet paper. Because it’s as essential, and you’ll die if it takes you a week to find it (or just buy another one after 12 hours of not finding it …not that that’s ever happened *ehem*). You’ll make! You’re so close! And I’m sympathetically laugh/crying over here 😀
Brittany Sanchez says
This is completely random but I’ve wondered often: do you like using just regular glass as your dry erase board for school? Does it show up okay or do you think that an actual dry erase board might work better? Also, moving is the modern-day equivalent to harvesting hundreds of acres of crops so that I can realize AGAIN that Ma Ingalls really was the best woman ever to live. Amen.
Leah says
There’s a Facebook group called “Buy Nothing ….” (insert your neighborhood). Intentional giving. Neighbors will come get your crap. But you have to trust where you live, and you have to start early! It feels good and makes getting rid of xyz a lot easier. I live in Portland, Oregon. I might not do this if I lived in, say, Houston! I’ve met a lot of nice people this way, but usually I just leave it on the front porch.
Mindy says
Oh sister girl I get this so much! The first time we moved, as sweet newlyweds with no children and no stuff, I had spreadsheets of inventory and color-coded labels on all of the boxes. Bless my heart. We moved a little less than a year ago, with a two-year-old and a three-month-old, and I kid you not, we all had hand foot and mouth disease the day we moved. I gave up about a week before moving when NOTHING WAS IN BOXES and just started what I call the “toss and pray” method. And because Pinterest is a thing and I still have some vestiges of my Type A pre-kids personality, I used colored post-its to label the boxes. Which my sweet toddler immediately rearranged when I was not looking. So then I just labeled all of the boxes things like, “who knows?” and “some crap from some room” which made unpacking super fun. I feel like I should end this anecdote with some encouraging wisdom, but I’ve got nothing lol. YOLO!
Jeanine Meers says
I feel your pain, because we just moved about a month ago. My tip is to not forget where you put your calendar or library books. I just found those after searching for a month! Of course, your calendar may not apply anymore since you’re moving out of state, so that’s one good thing. I can also relate, because we moved from another state with 3 kids several years ago. I’m here to tell you that no move is easy! Just try to get the rest you need, and think about how nice it will feel after you throw out all the crap! Praying for you to have a safe move and a great adventure in the process!
Lee says
I spent 7 years thinking about moving and then 6 months doing it, multiple trips to Goodwill on the same day, then branching out to other nearby charities to save face. 3 months into the process, we let the realtor in the door and she shared a fantasy list of resources. There is such a thing as junk hauling. 3 visits with their 16 ft truck changed my life. Oh and I used kitchen and trash bags, some industrial strength (instead of bubble wrap) to pack into book-size boxes and a portable dolly to minimize lifting. I’m going to buy stock in Bellhops.com. Those guys are amazing!
Jen says
We moved almost a year ago with 4 little kids and me big and pregnant. Lets just say I am amazed we made it through it! I could have cried, wait i think I did cry, when our new house was so full of crap that you prety much couldnt walk and I had 4 kids age 7 and under playing in it. The best advice I can give is what someone else mentioned..i had a box I hovered over that contained important papers, scissors, COFFEEMAKER and coffee and cups, toilet paper, diaper and wipes etc. The most important being the, ahem, coffee.
Maryann C says
Oh darlin’, the time for sorting has passed. Just get that stuff in the boxes! Sort it on the other end. You’ll have plenty of time then to mull over whether to keep it or not. Plus, having moved 8 times ourselves (in the past 15 years), every time I get to the new place, I’m all, “Dang, why did I get rid of that thingamabob/chair/table/doohickey?!” If it’s lasted this long in your house, just take it for a ride. Clearly God wants someone in Tennessee to have that lovely crap. If you do have a big old pile of stuff that needs to go, call someone to come pick it up. Do not waste your time making trips to haul it to a donation center. There are lots of charities that will eagerly come haul away your treasures. Keep calling until you find one that can come soon. Also, if you can, pay someone to clean the house after you’ve moved out. Having to go back to sweep, vacuum, wipe down, etc. afterwards when you are thoroughly exhausted from moving your stuff out is a major drag. It’ll be the best money you ever spend. Ditto on the other end if you can afford it – someone to at least do a light clean of the new place before you move in. If it has been sitting empty, it’ll have a layer of dust thicker than an Egyptian tomb. Good luck!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Maryann! Oh yes, we’ve purged and donated SO MUCH. I’m just in awe of how much STUFF someone can own. Even after purge after purge after purge. With a family of five and two pups working from home and homeschooling is what has done us in, it’s impossible to get rid of it all. ;} We are down to the wire and just packing now… after we sort and take all our MASSIVE art! We are getting a cleaning lady to come in and take care of this house because we wanted to leave it nice. And THAT is a MUCH needed luxurious addition, for sure! 😀
Jenny B. says
We haven’t really moved since college either. I think I will be in the same state one of these days (unless we decide to just keep living in our “starter house” forever). 15 years and counting…#iwannamovealready! Hope all goes well!
jane davila says
Moving tips: (you will survive this although it feels iffy at times!)
Pack valuables/fragile things with sheets of paper towels as padding, then you won’t have to search for paper towels when you unpack. As you unplug electronic devices put a piece of masking tape around each cord and wire and write on the tape what device it’s for. That way you won’t plug the wrong transformer into your modem and fry it (ask me how I know…) label your remotes. Have one tote bag for all power cords, connection cables, Chargers, and remotes. Take it with you in the car. Know where it is at all times. Twice I’ve moved recently and had to reorder a power cord that went missing. Create an “open this box first” box with a roll of toilet paper, toothpaste and brushes, a bar of chocolate, dish soap, paper plates, a fluffy towel, and a new small toy for each kid. When you get to the new place, set the beds up first. You’ll work until you’re exhausted but at least you’ll know you can crawl into a ready bed at the end of the first day. The best of luck on the packing and the move!
[email protected] says
Holy crap! I didn’t even know you sold your house. This. Is. Amazing.
I have zero tips on packing. As in nothing.
But I’m so happy for you guys and it will all get done (it always does, right?).
Take care. Don’t forget to eat and sleep through all of this.
–Michael
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thanks Michael! Yeah… we lost our everlovingminds and booked a trip to disney on points and PB&J’s 4 days before, because we were basically tired of waiting around for our life. And then it sold while we were gone + we’re moving into a fixer upper here in Franklin ;} We’re excited!
Cynthia says
I could not stop laughing, I have relocated way way WAY too many times over the past 13 years, and I think all of the above happened to me at one point, wether we packed ourselves or hired people to do the job (cheaper in India).
I agree with the “Don’t start with the Kitchen” I once had a near panic attack or moment of utter desperation of some kind after working on it for hours and still not seeing the end of it all. Either my stuff kept reproducing in the cabinets, or said cabinets were bottomless. I’m still not sure which one it was years later.
I think the best moment of moving homes is the moment you can finally stop eating food out of takeout boxes and on actual real plates at your dinning table again…extra happiness the day the food is home cooked AND on real plates!
Susie says
Pack breakables with sweaters and jeans. It kills two birds with one stone and prevents late night bubble wrap emergencies! We’ve cross-country moved twice, and my MIL was an Army wife. Loads of fun all around.
Libby says
Set up your beds and put bedding on them AS SOON AS YOU ARRIVE AT THE NEW HOUSE. Trust me on this one. This was my mother’s advice many moves ago and she was sooo right………at the end of that moving-in day, nothing on earth will look better to you than a bed you can just fall into!
Patricia says
You’re scaring me. We have to move in about three years and our house is three stories and we’re moving into a two bedroom condo (senior living). I’ve declared war on anything coming into the house (other than people) that can’t be used up or given away. I may make an exception for more undies.
Every time we give away something big (like my grandpa’s roll top desk which went to my grandson) I get all cheerful until I remember the rest of the whole house is still here.
My plan is to “curate” our stuff ( code for sort, dump or save) and jsut move exactly what we’ll need (it’s just the exactly what we’ll need part is making me crazy … will I need a balloon whip even if I’ve never needed it in the past 31 years?). Then family can have anything they want. Then the giant estate sale. Then the goodwill. Then back up a dumpster for what’s left. It’s either that or die here surrounded by crap and let our heirs deal with it.
Excuse me now, I need to go curate some more…