I’m pretty sure I gained a little over Christmas – which is really unfair in retrospect to blame it on the holidays, because I’d been drowning my sorrows in food eating unhealthily for some time. It was time to do better. It was also time to put away the crusty tree and quiet the house. And clear out the piles of paper hiding in the home school room, and old toys had to make way for new ones… and it feels just kinda gluttony-ish after the holidays. Cue the organization rotation.
It was fun, but it’s also good to reel it in all in the name of balance and feeling a little better. Right now, it’s all about motivation. Which isn’t hard to come by. I mean, I think it’s pretty easy to feel ready and get into the groove. Life is all about the cycles.
Purging – It’s a lot like marriage. Stay with me.
I’m still traumatized by this Disney lie. via
When Jamin and I first started dating, there were butterflies. There were stolen kisses and hand holding and all night long make out sessions conversations. We couldn’t get enough of each other. There was an emotional high, that grew into love, and that love eventually led us to say “I Do.” Does that mean that when I wake up every day, there’s unicorns and butterflies because I’m oh so giddy inside to still be married to this man I fell in love with, fifteen years ago? Does that mean we don’t struggle and that we never argue? That life is perfect in lala land?
Job stuff happens. And children happen. And hardships and life changes, they happen. There are days when I wake up and I think, please don’t eat your cereal in front of me right now, and then I sit there and cover my ears/suppress the urge to say mean things because I can’t handle food noises. And I’m pretty sure if I toss one more thing into the garage from the kitchen expecting it to disappear {aka for him to get rid of it just because I put it there}… he may lock me in the closet with a surround sound version of him eating cereal on replay a-la clockwork orange.
It’s how we roll. Yay idiosyncrasies! True story.
My point with this TMI rampage? It’s a good thing we love each other, because we don’t always like each other. That immature infatuation {that we only thought was love} grew into something more. And out of that love, a deeper relationship. An incredible partnership. A conscious decision. A commitment. A conviction. We have to work for it. Big time. But we’re still doing this thing called life together.
Simplifying your life goes beyond new year’s resolutions and a purge of your home. It goes beyond meaning well. It goes beyond guilt. It goes beyond fear. It goes beyond that initial excitement and all things giddy. At the end of the day, those are the things you’ll battle in making any real change in your life, but those are only emotions. Purging your home is a lot like marriage. And since everyone’s situation is different, it’s the same with making any real, lasting change. It’s conviction that will get you there. Not emotions.
If you’re anything like us, you’ve started that initial purge, and it feels good. Right now.
I got a victoria’s secret catalog in the mail yesterday, {Wheeeee!} and after gaping at a bit for what was a blatant topless pic and turning my head to the side like a parrot and trying to recreate a few of my own contortions in the mirror…. then reminding myself of the magic that goes into each shoot and I am not a self loathing person who will refrain from thin mints this year, I thought… YES. I Will DO THIS.
But mid-february, I’ll burn out. Just like with any other cycle in life. Unless I have a plan based on conviction, not guilt.
I am no Victorias Secret model. {Surprise!} I’m 5’4 and I’ve also had three kids so there’s that and I’ll stop there. But I can decide to be happy with my body, proud of what it’s accomplished, and make healthier choices. All year long.
I can also have cheat days and eat Five Guys and enjoy that too. Cajun fries please. YOLO, suckas.
We’re not expected to be robots. We’re not perfect {though we’re surrounded by filtered versions of it every day} and there are reasons normal cycles exist in life. But we can work step by step. And use a few tools to help us get there. Understanding the process is half the battle.
For years, I wanted an organized home, but I wasn’t sure how. I also didn’t realize that I didn’t just need systems in our home, I needed less. So when it comes to a home with systems that work for you, it requires trial and error, but it also requires starting with less. The initial purge to spark it all. While you’re doing your new years rampage thing {which we’re about to begin as well} Think about this:
Start with a phrase you want to stick with when it comes to your home. I know. Kind of like the word of the year gig, but with your home. It helps to have something you want to work toward, to guide you along the way. Because it’s easy to get bogged down with guilt and confusion and feel totally overwhelmed when you’re purging all the things.
Here’s ours that we’ve stuck with for years: {just as an example}
If I don’t have room for it, out it goes. When I come across something and I’m a little confused about what to do with it… if there is nothing practical about it and it’s crowding everything, out it goes.
B. If it is not useful. (Hello, rando third set of measuring cups I am holding on to because I have no idea} If it is not beautiful…(Hi, duplicate fiftieth blanket collecting dust in my closet that I could bless someone else with) It needs to go.
Start simple, and go with that natural motivation you already have right now.
But when that starts to wear off… you know where to find us.
And now… just for laughs since everyone is reading magical books to accomplish this in a day-Enjoy: How to get rid of clutter and live abundantly. Because some of us may be taking it a bit too far. ;} A little realistic humor works wonders during this entire process.
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We’ll be covering more on the process of purging in detail in the next few weeks, and we hope this gives you a great launching pad. It’s always good to tackle it all well-armed.
And be sure to check out the rest of The Lazy Gal’s Guide for more inspiration in the meantime-
Do any of you have a mantra to help you keep your home simplified? We’d love to hear! Have an inspired day!
mary beth at MBZ interiors says
Not bragging but I’m sure my ability to keep clutter to a minimum is because we live in a 1940’s home. Not very big and no huge closets. If something comes in, something usually has to go out, either tossed or donated. It’s kept my life simpler living in this little house and I’ve never desired a large one (except when 40 people come for the holidays – ha!) Still working on eating well and eating less, though.
ashley @ the handmade home says
That’s so true! I realized that a few years ago when I said we needed a larger home because that’s what I thought. When in reality, it was just LESS. It’s quite freeing, really!
JB says
Is this something that I want to dust/clean/move about twice a month, for the rest of my life?? Mostly the answer is no, so it doesn’t come into my home…or stay there. I’ve been working on decluttering since 2009. 2016 is going to be THE FINAL year of this process. I have made it my mission to be strictly on maintenance after this year is up.
ashley @ the handmade home says
That’s awesome. JB! And that is a great question. I’m with you on the dusting/cleaning – after having a glass top desk, and well… a house on the market in which I clean daily because I’m neurotic/exhausted/ridiculous/sooverthis I’m leafing through magazines, and most of the time all I can say is NOPE because of all the cleaning entailed! So true! ;}
Lynn Rucker says
Yikes! Direct hit! I purged SO well when we sold our house (especially since I did it when Marty wasn’t looking and couldn’t say “What? Won’t you have to just get another one of those?”) …. and yesterday I rented a climate controlled storage room to hold all of the things I have already bought for our new house, hahaha! PS, the “First I was like… then Oh, Snap” photo – that is me, mE, ME 🙂 If I was tech-savvy I’d post a pic of my cleaned out refrigerator – with a carton of ice cream in the freezer. Love the blog – inspiring and always a laugh!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thanks so much, Lynn! ;}
Whitney Shortt says
So true about needing the convictions to keep those resolutions going once the motivation wears off. Whitney English posted an article awhile back about focusing more on the kind of person you want to be and than following up with the actions to get you there. Definitely been helping me when i don’t feel like following through on one of this years resolutions!
chloe | Boxwood Avenue says
I am laughing, crying, and laughing some more. This post is honest, real, and everything EVERYONE needs to hear and read. Wow, that’s a lot of commas and ands… Anyways, my point is – you just became my favorite ever. Thanks for sharing this story – it was great!