Remember a few weeks ago when I rambled about the mirror ball movement? I ordered one off of ebay. As you can tell from the photo, we are now the proud owners of not one… but two mirror balls. TADA!
But let’s back up for a second.
I’m in the middle of sleep training Emerson.
Yep. You read that right.
Other people are sleep training their babies. I’m giving it my best shot with our five year old.
Emmy has never once slept consistently in her bed. We’ve tried. From Hello Kitty, to
threatening her within an inch of her life. We even turned her doorknob around so that the lock is on the outside, which we only tried once and results in an awkward convo every time anyone notices. They totally think I’m a psychopath who locks her daughter in the bedroom for weeks on end. It puts the lotion on its skin! That’s how we roll in Alabama, y’all.
I could cover our entire history here, but anyone who’s been there knows it’s rough. It is what it is. The main issue is that we’ve never been consistent. Jamin gets up with her and she screams for a while like some weirdo and I ignore her because I’m basically one cell shy of a flesh eating zombie when I’m sleeping. So I pull her into the bed. Sleep is priceless, I tell you. If I don’t get my sleep, Jamin’s afraid he’ll find me on the roof in the fetal position singing scary songs and petting a chicken egg. When it comes down to it I’m a softy. But all things in moderation and maybe it’s time to step it up a notch.
When she’s not with us, all three babes are climbing into the loft. There is no more room for three in the boys’ space. She claims the boys’ bed is ‘fun’ but also refuses to give up her room… as it turns out, five year old girls are opinionated.
So, I said all of that to say I have a plan.
If Emerson can earn enough “sleeps” in her current bed, she will get a ‘fun bed like the boys’. So, we’re in the middle of sleep training our five year old. It’s not a big deal if she climbs into bed with us occasionally, but my point is she has a perfectly good space and she continues to play musical beds. Has anyone ever had to sleep train a five year old before? Is the correct term bed train? Do they come with kits in a combo of alarms and nets those things kids wear in the mall with a leash attached to their backpack? Because I’ll totally take two.
I mean, I get it. Everyone else in the house has a room mate. We even tried putting Chloe in her room last night. But Chloe has a bladder infection and hates everyone right now.
Do you ever feel like your dog just might think this? I responded by telling her she had a mustache. Chapman-esque. Borderline Hitler. I may take her to get it bleached next week. Stop judging me, dog. JK. I love that mustache face.
I was going to vamp up her space to a more age appropriate status anyway, but now she’ll think she earned it. And appreciate it more. While she sleeps in it consistently. Two birds. One stone. At least that’s how it will work in my world. It’s funny how the different phases can affect the way you feel about your home. Getting Emerson settled into her space would work wonders for everyone’s psyche. And tone it down in the bedtime melodrama department.
So, mommy bemoaning aside… enter : Mirror ball.
I wanted one for myself, but ended up ordering one for her. (Secretly, it’s still for me.) It was to be an enticing preview, if you will to the spectacular grandeur that could be her new space. Because the girl loves sparkles, Nightlight + Mirror ball = infinitesimal amazingness = take that, fluffy animals that shine stars on the ceiling with the obnoxious jingle in my head and scare me as a fire hazard. (Because I hear mirror balls left in the sun too long are also legit.)
When it came in the mail I was stoked. I was like that kid on a Christmas Story and couldn’t rip the package open fast enough. It was 30 inches (read : huge) and actually cheap, considering the other prices I’d seen.
From afar it looked fine, but from closer inspection, it was split, cracked, chipped, buckled… frustrating. So we contacted ebay dude and we were all, ebay dude! This one’s broken! And we took pictures and everything because we didn’t want him to think we were big fat liars. So he said he could refund us, or send us a second mirror ball.
Well, Um, I kind of wanted a mirror ball.
Saturday the power went off just as I made my coffee, and I was pumped that I made the cut. For some reason, I felt oddly triumphant. Then I asked Jamin when my mirror ball was supposed to arrive and the doorbell rang. I looked at him and asked if I was dreaming or in a movie, because things were looking on the up and up.
But when I opened said second mirror ball, I was reminded that I do very much live in real life. It looked like this. Much worse than the first.
So we asked for our moolah back. I paid 75 dollars + shipping and yes that was frivolous but I wanted it and I have a small frivolous fund and sue me. I just spied one the same size for 800 on ebay that must be made of emerald diamonds and dipped in platinum with a curbside service via fluffy cupids with angel wings, so I felt like this was a good price for such a large size. But therein lies the problem. Apparently there’s an underworld of poorly made black market mirror balls, and the machines and/or people that stick the mirrors on. Someone got a hand cramp.
First world problems.
So now I’m stuck with the Rubik’s cube labrynth nightmare of mirror balls. I didn’t want to look the gift horse in the mouth, and there’s something about the DIYer in me that can’t let two perfectly good mirror balls go to waste for free. Even if they are a bit wonky.
I mean can you imagine what a travesty it is to have these two potential beauties in a landfill somewhere?
So here we go.
A Frankenball transplant operation. I spent about an hour looking at it today, and now have glass shards stuck in my fingers and hot glue burns on my arms. Awesome. I’m still not sure which one will be donor ball, and which one will be Frankenball, as I only got a few layers in, working line by line in the tiny little obnoxious mirrors. Maybe I should have donor ball at the garage sale as a freebie because I’m sure that someone else can repair even that one with tiny crafting mirrorball parts… anyone? Bueller?
I have purging to do, children to raise, meals to cook, and a house to clean… but I’m easily distracted by shiny things. Make that two really large free shiny things, and I’m done for.
But oh how we do love that sparkle…
So would you try to piece it back together? Or give up and trash two wonky mirror balls? It’s trickier than it looks… and cray cray, right? …Said the woman who wants to redo her daughter’s room and thinks her dog is judging her.
The more important question : Do your kids still sleep with you? Are dog crates out of the question? Do I really mind that much?