Life is a delicate balance. Of this lesson and that.
There’s so much that we want to teach our children while we’re here to enjoy it with them.
I want to hand down the lessons I’ve come to learn the hard way. Though I know some of them… {okay, most of them} they’ll have to figure out through life experiences, themselves.
I find myself overwhelmed sometimes, hoping that we’re doing alright. They come to me with questions and I hope we’re both giving them the wisest of answers and guidance so that they can figure it out. We probably haven’t raised our children in the traditional or modern all-approved way with organic everything and filtered whatnots. We haven’t done it like our neighbor, or even our own families of origin. {Another life lesson: we can’t make everyone happy}. But we’re doing something, and we’re doing our very best. We’re doing it in our own way.
I wouldn’t know where to begin if I had limited time, when it comes to what I would tell them. The problem is, we don’t know how much time we really have. And so I want to be mindful of this, when I do hone in on those lessons.
Yes, I sound morbid with a side of sentimental. And a dash of hope. Maybe I am a little of all of these things.
For starters, always be kind. Their opinions of themselves should never be based on someone else’s perception of them. I want them to know that guilt is cheap and people use it like it’s going out of style to satisfy their own agendas. I want them to eat their vegetables and focus on building strong bodies. I want them to know it’s okay to use boundaries to protect themselves. I want them to chase their passions and pursue their dreams with everything they have. To live their life while they have it on this earth, to the fullest. I want them to try something they don’t like. I want them to stand up against unkindness. Always. I want them to love and be loved. To know that laughter really is the best medicine, but so is a good cry. And sometimes, you really just need a nap.
Life is a delicate balance of lessons, after all. And it’s never going to be perfect.
We’re about to enter into the next chapter, with our oldest. Where school starts to feel a little different and peers can bring a lot of unnecessary drama. One by one, the older they get, they may find themselves feeling a little… or a lot awkward at times as they try to navigate the crazy world of almost-adulthood. It’s totally normal and more than okay. They’re my children, so it’s basically guaranteed… bless. ;}
Let’s just say that sometimes, I’m still waiting to bloom. Yes, that was a little truth with a dash of self-depreciating humor, but I think that’s a good way to look at it.
If there’s one life lesson I want them to remember well into adulthood, it’s this… And it’s a simple notion to follow, really. Something to think about when the mean girl at school excludes them from the group. Or they see that person in the hallway that always looks a little left out. Something to hold on to, when they’re feeling those growing pains, in the beginning of navigating life and what it’s all about: All of this is temporary. So,
Don’t peak in Middle School.
Don’t peak in High School.
Don’t even peak in College.
I know it sounds trite, when I have all these other things I could be focusing on a-la life lessons. Maybe it’s an odd thing to say, when there are so many other things to cover. But stay with me, because this one needs to be said. I think that if you can master this concept, this is where it starts.
There is so much more to life than school. Than the adolescent years where you feel a little locked in. There is so much more than the present moment you are experiencing with the present people. There’s so much more to see. So much more to do. So much more than youth.
Just. You. Wait.
Why am I talking about peaking?
I believe it’s one of the most important concepts you can grasp in your adult life. If you’ve peaked, it means that you’re content with staying where you are. Never to peak again. Never to explore life and all its possibilities. If you’re locked in, you’re usually blind to it.
Even when it’s hard to grow. It can be really easy to let all of those inner voices and insecurities get in our way.
I had a friend in college who introduced the notion to me of reinventing yourself. I think that at the time, she meant it as a concept with fashion and style and all things hair when we both went to the salon and had it all chopped off. {Because that’s as deep as we went in college.} But I looked down at my hair on the floor, fully embracing my new awkward haircut, and took it as a metaphor for life. I held onto it with everything I had.
Basically, adulthood is about becoming a better version of yourself than the day before. And an even better version, the day after that. It’s about challenging yourself and learning and growing and changing. Yes, you should absolutely embrace where you are, and appreciate the process in that. But if you’re thriving and growing and learning over and over again, it’s the ultimate form of self-love. And I think self-love is something we often fail to teach our children at the risk of sounding selfish or un-religious.
We can’t love anyone else until we truly love ourselves.
In the process of peaking, your confidence is growing. You’re constantly challenging yourself. It’s the ultimate form of reaching your potential. You’re strong. There are so many dimensions to this simple concept. The way it’s laid out for us, I see two options:
Life can feel confusing, and hard and impossible if we let it. There’s no escaping it. So we can let is overwhelm us and stay where we are.
Or, we can look at it like chasing fireflies. No matter what stage we find ourselves in, in life. Because we all have to start, somewhere. We’re all healing from something.
There we are, standing in the yard. All these wonderful twinkling creatures are waiting to be captured. The excitement of childhood, and one of my fondest memories, lies just beyond my window every night. Bare feet in the yard, glass jars waiting, and hearts thumping.
Joy is in the air.
The chase is on.
But we don’t capture these fireflies and keep them.
We capture them, and then release them. They’re too pretty to be kept all locked up in a jar.
There’s something to be said about the wonderment in the entire process of living our lives this way.
And about doing it again and again.
I think goals in life should feel like that. Accomplishing and growing and stretching beyond our own comfort zones… challenging ourselves, should feel like that. Looking for solutions, even during the really trying times, should feel like that.
There’s something to be said about searching and thriving in the process, that is so important. It’s the ultimate form of loving yourself. Isn’t chasing fireflies all about the experience itself?
So the notion of peaking over and over and over again… is all in the process. It’s about challenging yourself as an adult. It’s about what you learn. It’s about accepting where you are, being patient with yourself, and learning where to improve. It’s the idea that education extends well beyond the halls of academia and there’s a lot to life when it comes to being self-taught. It’s about loving yourself and loving others, and it’s about reinventing a new you. Over. And Over. And over again.
So learn to paint. Take a yoga class. Rise beyond adversity. Come to a solution with a difficult person. Take that next step you’ve been terrified to take. Be kind to someone when it’s hard… you never know their story and sometimes staying open is the first step. Learn to play the piano. Learn to forgive, and move past a bad situation to let it go. Travel to another country. Ride a horse. Teach yourself how to do something you’ve wanted to learn forever. Run a marathon.
Do what you want to do, and enjoy it.
Learn from it.
Challenge yourself.
Grow from it.
And then do something else, again.
You go ahead and peak.
Just be ready to do it over and over and over again.
Never stop growing, learning, thriving and laughing all the way through the process. Ever.
It’s true what they say… the best is yet to come.
And enjoy living your life to the absolute fullest for as long as you have it…
Just like chasing those fireflies.
::No fireflies were harmed in the photography of our firefly chasing session ;} ::
Cathy says
I love this!
I will be turing 70 in September and I am still peaking. So far 2017 has been an incredible year with lots of new adventures. And I plan to keep it up as long as I can. As a widow I can say that life is fragile and can be cut short at any moment. So live everyday to the fullest and say yes to new experiences. Life is good!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Your comment made me made me tear up. I love this and love you for living life to the fullest.
Karyn says
Love this post so much! You both are doing it right that’s for sure! Thanks so much for sharing!
JoAnne says
Wonderfully written and well said! Thanks for inspiring me with your creativity as well as your perspectives on the journey of life. Kindness always! 🙂
ROSE LEFEBVRE says
Lovely and thoughtful and caring words.