So the biggest question we get when it comes to all things rehab, is this in a nutshell.
Shelly wrote us the other day, and said this:
…We have absolutely loved following along on your site with the home transformation. It keeps bringing us back, and we are obsessed with all your spaces and how you have changed your home into something you love. I would like to know what your biggest recommendation is when it comes to a home overhaul like you two have taken on. We would like to try this with our current house, and your blog has been so helpful to us with both inspiration and realistic advice and all the things. I am both apprehensive and excited. I know it is a very stressful thing. Looking back, if you could tell yourself one thing, or if you are glad you did one thing, what would it be? What would be your one piece of advice for someone about to take on a rehab?…
First of all, it feels good to be back. It feels like it’s been a long time since we’ve been able to do a post like this one. I’m not sure why… probably because it took us so long to make this transition and we were so swamped with everything at once. It just has been. I love getting into all the details and answering questions and discussing options. It’s our favorite.
Secondly, here’s without a doubt, our number one answer:
Do your homework.
Not to overly simplify such a complicated process or anything… but that’s about it, in a nutshell.
Rehabs can get overwhelming, fast. There are a kajillion options and choices. If you’re anything like us, there will probably be some not-so-fun moments, you’ll probably wonder what you’ve gotten yourselves into, and you’ll probably lose a little sleep.
That’s totally normal, really.
I cried a few times. I lost count of my crying sessions. I will shamelessly admit that here. It’s just stressful when you’re ready to get your kiddos settled. Heck, it’s stressful anyway.
But because all these choices can become so overwhelming so fast, be ready with a plan. And a schedule. But beyond that, know what you want and why, with your choices in your project.
People may call you weird for wanting to knock through a closet wall. They’ll say that you won’t get that much extra storage from it.
Guess what? We did it anyway… and they were wrong.
Basking in their wrongness. Wrong-gy McWrong pants.
People will question you on the choices you make. And that’s a good thing. Sometimes.
For instance, we thought we wanted both double ovens and double cooktops at first, in the kitchen.
And everything is a process.
But my mom really questioned us. She said, “Are you sure you want to do that?” Honestly, it was the only thing that she was opinionated about. “You’ll have less counter space, and you could just center the larger cooktop over the double ovens.”
Guess what? We listened, because being our senior, she’s a little more experienced with kitchens than we are. She’s had a few more practice areas to consider. We love to cook, but this one cooktop was enough. I had been concerned about the hood balancing out the cooktop with it’s size. I’m a visual person and can really picture things before they happen, but even with the diagrams and the measurements we cooked up, we were worried. Because at the end of the day, we’re the ones who will live with it. So we went back to the drawing board, and she was right.
It’s a bit of an educational process, and it’s interesting to watch your choices evolve with the house. Especially with a rehab… the initial core will dictate a lot of your choices for you.
But be ready with your answers. Stand your ground on certain things that you’re passionate about. Know why you want them. And why it would be a good choice for your lifestyle and the people who dwell there.
People who don’t know any better, because they’ve never seen it, will ask why you’d want to mortar rub to your fireplace. If you’re not sure why, you won’t stand your ground and see it through. You can be easily swayed in another direction and that’s not good. It’s good to consider other people’s opinions and investigate. But know why it might work, too.
Know that if you don’t want your tv over your fireplace, but it’s the only option for your home ::raises hand:: he wants a wood burning fireplace, but you know you would have to alter the roof, and the tv won’t even work over the wood burning fireplace because of the proportions and heat out put ::raises other hand:: there are options. You have to work through them.
If we’d listened to everyone’s opinion on our home, we wouldn’t have had our marble countertops, soapstone, planked ceilings with beams, or tile all the way to the top.
Or grey doors.
And that would be a tragedy.
Because we love those things.
We made a pros and cons list about everything. We consulted experts in different areas and educated ourselves over every choice. We asked questions from the subs when it was going in. We studied their process, too. Because most of the time, design processes can influence the installation, and vice versa. The sky’s the limit when it comes to ideas, but the realities lie with budget, and physical installation.
My point? Do what you can. Find what works for you. But make sure whatever your process is, serves you well.
Do. Your. Homework.
Know what you love and why.
Know the pros and cons of every choice.
Here’s an example on a smaller scale: We would have never purchased a linen sofa with three kids and two dogs if we’d listened to everyone warn us about it. Ironically, none of said people owned a linen sofa. Also, some things just aren’t right for everyone. That’s the beauty of opinions and diversity and what works for some not working for others. Do some research, and figure out what you want in your home, and why. It can be easy to get caught up in someone elses’ story without looking beyond that.
Be your biggest advocate. Research both sides.
I know. Research is easier said than done when you’re on a deadline, and people are waiting, and then it’s hurry up and wait, and then there’s that not-so-big ugly friend, the budget. With lots of other external elements all mixed in together. I guess that’s why you need to be your biggest advocate. Because your contractor’s cousin’s neighbor’s grandmother’s best friend’s dog… is going to try to talk you out of what you love. They’ll have their reasons why, and you should listen. But know what you’re willing to live with and what will work best for you and your personal decision.
You may change your mind for the better. {See experienced mama with stove top oven recommendation}. You may stick to your guns and it will be the best choice you ever made.
Know why you want soapstone. Know that if it’s mined in America, it’s harder to scratch. And if you get an antiqued finish, it will hold up better under the continuous use of children and guests. Know that marble will etch less if it’s a honed finish.
Know there are more options than granite. And if you want granite, there’s more options than builder’s beige everything granite.
And how to take care of it when it gets messed up. Know that you have options, and if there’s a scratch, it’s not the end of the world. Know what you’re willing to live with. And why.
Know that when someone makes a comment about why your backsplash will be hard to clean, that’s an assumption based on their limited opinion. Not the absolute truth. Even if everyone thinks that they are entitled to an opinion when hiding behind a computer screen. Ahhhhh ‘Murica.
And that even if it is {it’s not hard to clean} that tile is epic. Your love of something is directly proportional to your willingness to live with/take care of it.
Measure out the cabinets, and then measure again.
Double check the faucets and the countertops in the bathrooms. Make sure your vanity comes with a backsplash and then if not, plan b. If you want to move the toilet, know how it will sit in proportion with your vanity.
Drive yourself insane by being overly-thorough, because you’ll catch things that others won’t.
Rehabbing {and building} a house is like having a baby. You’ll visit your doctor/midwife and all those people in between. Your mom will give you her best advice, and that random lady will grab your belly in the grocery aisle. They all care about you {except maybe the random lady who has a wild look in her eye and maybe you should watch your back when you’re leaving the parking lot because Nancy Grace and personal space} and want the best for you and said baby. But at the end of the day, it’s your baby. And no one will be as fierce for it, fight for what you want for it, and care for it… as only you will.
And you need to know why you want to do it. Why it will work. And how.
Don’t get me wrong… you’ll make mistakes. But they won’t be detrimental if you do your homework and stand by your choices.
We’re brainwashed by TV and magazines and that instant magic of non-reality. In between that last commercial break, the entire kitchen just came to life. What they’re not showing is the grief of codes and the time it takes for your cabinets to come in and how the fabricators are amazing but you may have to leave the room when they’re installing your giant slab for your island. How something got scratched in installation or the design changed because of that budget. It’s a lot like figuring out a big fat jigsaw puzzle and working through the entire process from beginning to end. Because life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t TV. Or even blogs – though we truly try to keep it real in this little corner of the www, folks.
Be flexible so you can roll with the punches.
Do your homework.
We stand by what we’ve always said. Do what you love… and stick with your choices.
But you may even change your own mind if you do a little research and know why you want to make the choices that you do.
Do your homework.
We hope this helps, Shelly! We could make a list on the entire process, and probably will. But the biggest thing that served us well, is educating yourself.
What would you add with any rehabs / building you guys have taken on?
Have an inspired day!
lois says
Your comment about your tile walls is so funny! My husband and I just finished remodeling our house (on a much smaller scale than yours) and in the kitchen I couldn’t decide whether I wanted tile to reach all the way above the vent hood or to hit just even with the bottom. I had my guy tile it to the bottom and then leave it so I could live with it a bit. I decided to go all the way to the ceiling and I”m so glad I did! Best choice ever! love your tile wall
Karen Grissen says
I’ve also loved, and still love, all of your progress through not only this house but your previous one as well. We finished a HUGE remodel back in March and I couldn’t agree more with your “do your homework” and fight for what you love. My husband built our house when he was but a mere lad with a very limited budget. Years later after we married and did a few small redo’s to the house. We have vaulted ceilings and added a nice size entry way onto the front of the house. I had asked the builder to put in a transom above the opening to the entry way and everyone said I wouldn’t like it and it would be a big dust catcher. Being young and the first time I’d ever been through anything like this I listened and it bugged me for 23 years that there was not a transom there. Now the house is 34 years old and we are older and wiser. We used the same builder and I pushed for everything I wanted and I’m so happy I did. We had a deck off the back and I always wanted it to be replaced with a patio. Again I was told no for so many reasons, well I got my patio and we spent the entire summer on it. We also had a wood stove taken out and replaced it with a door to said patio. The door came into our living room so I asked if we could bump out and make a small entry. Again…no, no, no and too many reasons to say why it wouldn’t work. Put I pushed and now I have a nice new small entry and a door that doesn’t open into my living room. One of the last things that was done, amongst many, the builder asked if I had ever thought about putting in a transom above the door that goes out to our front entryway. I almost hit him with a hammer but instead I told him to put it in and let him think it was all his idea. So again, yes, do your hope work and push for what you want and know why you want it. Great advice !
Sorry, I didn’t mean to hi-jack your comment section. :o(
ashley @ the handmade home says
LOVE this, Karen! I’m sure your home is just gorgeous! Major props to you for listening to your gut in the end. It’s so funny how we all evolves with time! ;}
Amanda says
Hurray for this! We built a house last year, and I can totally agree with everything here. I was super OCD about the kitchen (it’s an open concept main living area, and it took months to make sure everything would work the way I wanted it to) and it’s amazing. But since I spent so much time focused on the kitchen (and the flooring and the trim and getting five-panel doors), the bathrooms ended up a little wonky (not bad enough to actually change at this point, but definitely in the category of “I should have spent more time thinking about this room”).
+1 on the soapstone countertops – I managed to convince the hubs that we needed to have them, and I love the little bits of patina they’ve collected already. 🙂 I want our home to be lived in and loved, but not perfect.
ashley @ the handmade home says
AMEN Amanda. We let a few things slide as well, and we are now going back and kicking ourselves… it’s so hard when it’s everything at once. But it pays with the things you can stay on top of!
Amy says
Thank you for always keeping in real and honest, even when its not the pretty packaged posts I’ve seen on other blogs. I appreciate the realness, the real-life-ness (that’s a thing right?). Its like a breath of fresh air, to all of the keeping up with the joneses, instagram-worthy only snippets on the www. Keep being you, if you don’t hear it from many other strangers on the internet today, I appreciate you and your voice!
Naomi W says
When we built our home 19 years ago, we made some last minute decisions that were the best moves. One was to have a great room rather than a divided living and family room. Along with that came an open kitchen. I laugh at HGTV now because I got an open concept home before it was an “IN” thing to have.
Also, it is my home, no one elses. Do what you really want to do. Don’t let people change your mind.
Cindy Lou says
Your kitchen is absolutely beautiful! I love your design! I just remodeled my kitchen also! I feel so much better after reading the other comments…. now I know it is ok to overthink every detail( homework!!) In the end you want to love it so if you make your installers a little crazy in the process that’s ok! You need to love it in the end!
Cathy says
You are so right! My remodel was finished a week ago – well almost finished. There’s always a punch list.
I got mixed messages from my contractor. One day he would be so happy that I knew exactly what I wanted and why. Then the next he would try to talk me into something I didn’t want. But I’m so glad I stuck to my guns! I think he even likes what I talked him into.
Now comes the fun of trying to figure out where my stuff goes. Life is always an adventure!
Andra Stoker says
Beautiful! I would LOVE to find out where you got the kitchen back splash? I’ve been waiting to do mine until I found “the one” and I FOUND IT!!! Yours is it. Hope to hear from you and Thank you!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Andra! Thanks so much! You can find our resources here + we will have the full reveal {for what it is now} in the next day or so ;} with all the sources in detail. Hope that helps!