This is my favorite fall tour of all time, five years ago.
We were in the middle of a full remodel that officially felt as though it would never end… we were trying to get our kids settled into a new community, our feet back under us, and it felt like everything was going wrong. So it was appropriate to share it again today. Especially since we’re at it again {this post has all the current links, if you’re curious as to how it all turned out} Wheee! Looking back, we always say that if we can get through our very own version of 2016… we can definitely get through 2020/2021. So without further ado… the time I really had to cope with humor because I was at my absolute wit’s end.
It’s September, so…
I bet you guys thought we weren’t going to have a Fall tour this year. What with our situation and everything.
But you were wrong. You were dead wrong. Doubters gonna doubt.
Because in blog land it’s the Pumpkinpocalypse as soon as August hits, and we had to have a tour of our own. Anyone who is anyone already has a trio of scarecrows and lanterns and pumpkins and straw out on their front porches… We’re not one to let a little sawdust and septic issues get us down. So we’re serving up some serious style in our new space, just for you.
We think that the heavy layer of dust on the porch and random electrical cord really lend to our pumpkin spice everything vibe. It’s been there for months because progress. But this is just a preview to the excellence in design waiting behind these doors.
We got really creative with our giant cobweb and razor blade placement this year, as well. It’s so organic, I’m in love with myself. I’m also doing some serious fawning over those dead spiders. It adds to the creeptastic factor and will definitely stay up through October …If I’m being totally honest, probably Christmas too.
Nothing says ‘want some candy kids?’ and inspires trust, like a giant rust covered razor blade at the front door.
On the inside, we went for some classic orange to deck out those random buckets for drywall. Every bucket gets a pumpkin. We’re totally into orange this year. Nothing says fall like orange.
Pumpkin is the new orange.
{But seriously… who knew we could see it through to the end?}
And here’s a tip we know you’ll love… the top doubles as a garbage bag holder! I know. We’re just too clever. We’re all about the multi tasking while we kill ourselves just to finish all the things.
This particular plump little pumpkin is a major focal point for our non existent window and extra insulation. He brings a symbol of hope for the future of cool weather and things that matter. Like epic boots and long sweater combos.
Pinterest can’t even handle us right now, we are so full of it.
Inspiration. Full of inspiration.
And bring on the hearth accents, am I right?!
This gourd is a beautiful shade of white to blend with that roll of plastic and rusty nails. It’s all about texture. The quintessential vignette in shades of neutral layered on neutral. With more neutral. With a touch of shabby chic rustic. I can’t even describe our style, it’s so farmhouse amaze. You may notice our extra attention to detail, as said gourd is sitting on top of the old mantel.
A symbol of hope and progress. In layers.
Pumpkin is the new orange and gourd is the new white. I can’t make up my mind so I did both.
I just need a kilim rug and some brass accents to really round out the mass confusion.
So cozy!
We love decking out our panty in pumpkins. It adds true festive vibes and interesting punches of color to the space. Glancing over every time we walk into the house, exasperated by what else needs to be done, it really reminds us that we don’t even have to open the door to see it. It’s like a great living metaphor for what the season is all about.
We’re especially loving the contrast between all that sure-to-cause-fatal-disease-later-in-life-dust we’ve all been inhaling, and the true beauty that nature in Fall brings.
Seize the moment.
Up the stairs, we’re in for another treat. The kids LOVE the accents to remind them of how pretty it all is.
The subs threatened to sue us if they stumbled over yet another pumpkin after that second dude went to the hospital, but we told them it makes us really sad that they don’t have their priorities straight.
We’ll be praying for them and those priorities.
If you’re looking for a great accent for your toilet this year, look no more. I mean, the only thing that tops it are those fabric covers from the seventies which were sure to retain that rancid pee smell from any little boy with bad aim. So this pumpkin toilet decor ranks second best. We told the plumbers to work around it because it’s a top priority.
You so want to be us right now.
The kids’ room got an extra dose of coziness this year. They love gazing at the gourd and pumpkin fondly, and I’m really proud of my savvy use of balance between the rustic ladder and precariously placed pumpkins. I told them if they close their eyes after gazing at the pumpkin, the coziness will infuse in their minds, and they can pretend they live here. Like pumpkin spice namaste or something.
In retrospect, I totally shouldn’t have painted over the red, because nothing says ‘stab out my corneas’ like that red, because Halloween. My college design professors would be so proud.
Precariously placed is the new orange is the new white is the new pumpkin.
The ultimate accents for this season.
We’re proud to announce a huge new deal for us. It’s a secret we’ve been keeping for months and working on quietly behind the scenes. We’ll be hosting the Official Franklin Haunted House this year.
It’s sponsored by Williamson County Septic and it’s called ‘Walk Through if You Dare’. {Dodge the giant spider I found yesterday the size of my hand before I barely escaped with my own life like a screaming banshee, or getting tetanus from something scary and rusty because we’re sure it’s there.} Nothing says ’tis the season like wading through our crap and getting a nice round of lockjaw.
Who needs taffy?
If you complete the course, you get a T-shirt. Something along the lines of ‘Poop Doesn’t Matter’ with a septic tank design or something else vaguely clever… we’re still consulting septic for designs since they have to approve it, but probably won’t hear back until May of 2017.
We’re thrilled to announce that all proceeds go to the families waiting for months and displaced by their remodels, driving across town thirty minutes every day for their kids to go to school, and using porta potties that haven’t been properly cleaned while they do their own ceilings, floors and walls just to save money. The struggle is real. Even if it is total first world. We’re glad to help in any way that we can.
But back to the gourd: This gourd is an awesome addition… you really need to hand it to us. It’s what we really needed. We’re so original placing it on yet another set of rotted carpet stairs. The hanging, dingy insulation is just perfect. Nothing says terrifying like getting nailed in the face with it in the dark. We’ve already tried it out a few times since the electricity keeps going out. So scary. Trust us.
I wish I could waft the musty smell through all of your screens, because extra creativity points for us.
I feel like we’ve really captured the tension in juxtaposition between fall and summer with this particular shot. The balance is epic.
If some magazine wants to use this photo as a feature for Space of the Year, they’ll have to pay up. It’s that good. We’ll be holding out for Time.
I kind of wish we hadn’t already revamped the pool, just so we have the pumpkins in cesspool water for Halloween. One point deduction for not thinking ahead.
Move out the way, Martha Friggin’ Stewart.
We really nailed it this year. –That last one was Jamin. I told him he’s on joke probation.
Thanks for joining us for a walk down hysteria lane. Just know that it had a happy ending! We could all use a little heavily layered sarcasm.
Seriously though, this is our fifth year, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a ‘proper’ fall tour in our home. We’re always finishing some huge project that makes us not care about pumpkins. The first year was this, then the second was the outdoor makeover and basement. Last year we were finishing the pool room, and this year, the cabana. And now the primary addition… {And I actually wrote this last year: “I look forward to not pulling off another one next year because hopefully, we’ll be building our primary addition.” ;} It’s like I had a vision board or something. Again with the priorities.
We seriously hope you enjoyed, and feel a little more normal. Have an inspired day!
Beth M. says
I’m dying. This was perfect for a Monday morning! And I’d totally pay for the haunted house tour!
Layla K says
This is the best fall tour ever. Hilarious!
Diane says
LOVE THIS…. so very clever!
Patricia says
You rule as the snarkiest Fall home tour ever. I’ve lived thru several home renovations. Never again.
Linda says
Thank you so much for making me smile this morning! I love this!!
Cindy Brown says
That was hysterical! My mom and I always have kept laughter going in the worse of circumstances. It truly helps even if you cry right after you laugh! Bless you for having to put up with all of this. We are all rooting for you!
maureen says
OMG! I woke up this morning OVERWHELMED with the months long tasks of cleaning and culling ahead for our house to be appraised and get on the market. I am feeling so much better now! Thanks for the laughs!!!
rose l. says
Looks like you are up to your necks in work!
Susan says
It’s the old “if you can’t beat em, join em” Love it! You always make me laugh.
JenWoodhouse.com says
Best Fall home tour yet!
Marian@CMShawStudios says
This is my favorite fall tour EVER!
You totally win,
The Other Marian
Debra says
OMG!!! You look just like Sigourney Weaver!!!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Bahahahaha that IS Sigourney Weaver!!!! ??????
Debra says
Well then that makes complete sense!!!
Brittany says
This is EPIC. You win the internet today!
Lizzi Galland says
This is hilarious! I needed this awesome laugh and smile today!
Thanks!
Lisa says
By far the BEST fall home tour ever!!!! You guys are hilarious! Carry on!
Allison says
Y’all are my favorite. Thanks for the giggles!
Brooke Riley~Re-Fabbed says
This is hilarious and PERFECT! Loved it.
Stephanie @ Casa Watkins Living says
LMBO!!!! perfection! Love how you captured the essence of the pumpkins in your home. LOL!!!
Jenny says
Amazing post!!! I love your sense of humor and creativity!!
Bonnie says
I’m laughing on the outside but crying for ya (I’m from Texas so I’ve obligated to use that expressions) on the inside. I know it’s going to get better but in the meantime, it’s got to be tough.
Funky Junk Interiors - Donna says
Thank you. I am feeling better about my own home already. Miracle worker you are! LOL
Kim Bauer says
The toilet cover was the best!!! 😀
Aubrey says
Honestly, this is the exact inspiration I needed! I just couldn’t think of a new way to decorate for fall, and this has really helped. I just need Sigourney Weaver and a nail gun.
Teddee Grace says
Too funny. I expect you also made those other oh-so-in-control bloggers do a little rethinking! Loved it.
Jennifer says
This is the best thing I’ve ever read 😂😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣
ashley @ the handmade home says
HAHAHA hope it brought a smile to your face. ;}
Arlene says
Very very well done! Thanks for the smiles today. We all need more of them. 😀
Oven Fresh Cake says
Keep up the good work, it’s hell lot inspiring!!