all we have is now

{All photographs in this post are by Light By Iris photography. We can’t recommend her more if you live in the Nashville area. She’s amazingly talented – as you’ll see below!}

2020 has been hard for everyone. But it’s also been wonderful in lots of weird, haunting ways. 

In many ways, it’s been a year of waiting. Until this is okay. Until this is past us. Until we’ve done this or that. Of struggling through tough decisions for the kids.

And I realized I don’t want to look up one day, and realize all of this is over. That I’ve aged and my children have moved out and while I’ll never stop being a parent… I didn’t enjoy what I had when I had it because I was too worried about everything else.

When we made our big move to another state and town, it was a Geronimo of a leap for us. A huge change and a big adjustment. Jamin and I were saying the other day that we only thought our kids were bigger, because they could bathe themselves and buckle themselves in, and do big kid things as elementary school students. The fog of babyhood had passed and we were on to a new beautiful chapter.

They were so young. Still babies.

I woke up in the middle of the night a few months ago, and realized it has been four years since we’ve moved here. It only feels like a second. A fleeting moment. A true blink of an eye.

And then I realized I only have four more, until Aiden goes to college. 

My heart. 

So 2020 has been rough.

But we’ve decided to embrace it. 

I’ll stop waiting until this is done or that. Until it feels like all impending doom has passed. Until this perfect moment or I’ve lost some weight or we’ve accomplished something and jumped into the next big thing.

And just celebrate the now. 

Who we are, and where we are, right now. 

These golden, fleeting, precious moments are something to grasp with everything we have. The beautiful chapters along with the truly difficult ones, the painful with the glorious. And the absolutely simple, that seem to slip through the cracks. 

So we put on some clothes and everyone brushed their hair, and we went out to a park and had our photos taken. This year documented in a golden light. Our family recorded, frozen in time. 

I want to remember this. 

I can’t think of a more appropriate way to document a truly difficult and beautiful year.

Because it’s truly just what we needed. 

All we have is now.

{All photos in this post are by the beautifully talented Light By Iris. If you’re looking for a photographer in the Nashville area, be sure to check her out. We can’t recommend her amazing work more!}

{Fabulous hair by Mary Willeford, our very favorite stylist! Check her out here!}