There he was, standing there with a fist full of freshly purchased tickets. And he was handing them to his new best friend.
It was last year, on a balmy night of late September for our school’s Fall festival. As soon as we arrived on campus, Jamin was corralled at a game area. {Overzealous and true to form, I’d volunteered us to help with all three children’s carnival games in the event, and he had the first spot.} I was not-so-secretly a little nervous, since we still felt like the new kids, and I headed onward with our children to the cafeteria where they were hosting a cake walk.
Our oldest was adamant about the cakewalk because he, Aiden, was going to meet his new friend, Levi there.
For weeks, it had been all about Levi. Every time he hopped off the bus and into our kitchen for afternoon snacks, he had a new story about Levi.
We’d been homeschooling for three years, and we were new to Franklin. We were scrambling through our renovation with ceiling planks and second runs on afternoon coffee. It was in the afternoons that the kids would come home, and we would go through homework before working later into the dwindling sunlight hours, hoping we would be in soon. We were desperate for a sense of normalcy after waiting for so long, {remember, it took us a year just to sell our house, to make the big move} and so we were all about fostering new relationships. That afternoon was different, because instead of heading back to the apartment after working, we brought a change of clothes. And as soon as the kids were home we headed to the Fall festival.
And there was Levi at the cakewalk. A sweet little boy with a face full of freckles and a full-on grin. He has one of those faces that say, “I’m going to be your kiddo’s new bestie” and you want him to be because you’re pretty sure he just skipped out of a Norman Rockwell painting and right into your son’s life.
I saw the two boys pause in greeting, and then scamper off together in line for the cake walk. The younger siblings followed in suit.
And it was there that I saw Aiden do something odd, that confused me… he dug into his ticket envelope he’d just been given by his father and me, and handed a rather large amount of tickets to Levi. A fist full. He told him he could have them.
It’s in moments like that, where you’re proud of your kid for doing something so selfless. But then if you’re being honest, kind of confused because you’d just paid money for some carnival tickets. And self-dubbed Mr. Generosity, wasn’t getting any refills from yours truly – I just wanted to make sure he realized this wasn’t an endless supply kind of thing. It wasn’t long before I figured out who Levi’s parents were. They stood not far from me, instructing Levi to give the tickets back. I shrugged. Truly, it was fine with me, if that’s what Aiden wanted to do.
So this is the part where the new family at the school meets the sweetest family, ever.
Heather was hilarious, Andrew was kind and reserved. In retrospect, he was quiet because Heather and I dominated the entire conversation. We probably stood there for about thirty minutes chatting it up and laughing, when we realized that they’d almost purchased our house earlier that year, months before we’d even found it. The one we were currently gutting out so we could move. The one that dominated every waking hour just so our family could feel settled. The one where we wondered what on earth we’d gotten ourselves into.
We realized that we also had some of the same connections ranging from my high school to their college days. I was relieved that Aiden had made friends with such a sweet family. They even had a daughter in between Malone and Emerson’s ages. So we exchanged information, and then parted ways when our kids started to feel a bit like herding cats in all the excitement and things they wanted to do.
That night, we took our newfound friendship to the next level, and texted. We started chatting it up more, and I looked her up on Facebook. Because that’s what I do… I stalk people. Shhh no judging.
It was there in the middle of our conversations about school and their travels to Africa, with a friend request on social media, that I realized Heather had cancer.
Liver Cancer.
She hadn’t told me. I mean, how does one casually bring something like that up with someone they just met?
Instead it was message after message on her Facebook page. I scrolled through them all for a good ten minutes of people wishing her well. Praying for her. Hoping for better news. Asking for updates.
You just never know what someone else is going through.
I was floored.
Here I was, consumed with getting our family settled, suddenly feeling quite trivial with a new dose of humbling perspective.
Heather and Andrew are the kind of people that dropped everything, and headed to Africa to help with the children in an orphanage there. For three years. They’re the kind of people who gave without thinking twice and made plans to adopt three children from that same orphanage. They’re the kind of good, humble, genuine people that we should all strive to be. And even in the middle of what she was going through, Heather was the kind of person that while she was in the midst of suffering, took the time to encourage others.
So when you hear that someone healthy and young has cancer… your first thought is, “They’re going to get better.” You go through all the thought processes, wondering what on earth can be done to help… all the while feeling quite helpless, unable to possibly comprehend what they and their family are really going through.
Because it didn’t dawn on me at the time, that she wouldn’t. Not by our tiny, misunderstood, earthly standards anyway. Heather went to a better place on February the 2nd, 2017.
Her name came up the other night with some friends of ours who knew of Heather and they said, “From what we hear, she was pretty incredible.”
Knowing her for a few short months, inspired us to be better people. Her reputation precedes her.
This hasn’t been my story to tell, so I hadn’t shared it until now.
I know I could never do it justice, and just planned to share some before and afters along the way. But the other night, Andrew brought it up, and we only hope that the story behind this little makeover is a part of so much more.
Heather’s story is one of beauty that is intricately intertwined, even with the people that barely knew her. She’s the person who embraced life while she had it, and made the most of it with her family. She’s the one who brazenly shared her faith and story with others. It’s a story that needs to be shared, because it’s simply not over yet, and continues to grow with her family. So we wanted to tell you the story of a woman filled with grace and purpose and love. Someone who lived this life with dignity and who emulated what we should all try to be.
I just wasn’t sure how to tell a story like that, until now.
I think in mourning for someone elses’ loss, it can be easy to get caught up in the moment, and then sum it up as “awful.” And move on with our own lives. But the truth of the matter is that life keeps moving for the people that have suffered that loss. When your children become close friends, you find yourself doing life – the next chapter – alongside a single dad and two beautiful children. It’s incredible to see a sweet family who is very loved by so many people, move forward with astounding resiliency.
They’re finding their new normal in the aftermath.
So we find ourselves a part of her story, even in small ways. And it all started with our kids. From guiding your children in being good friends to theirs and finding little ways to help. In the process of thinking beyond yourself, all of this is really teaching you. We’re in the next chapter, doing life with Heather’s family. With Andrew and their children.
And her legacy still lives on.
One of Heather’s wishes, was that Andrew would finish their house. They purchased it, just like ours, intending to remodel it and make a home for their family. I told Heather I would love to help her with it, when they were ready. So we’re honored and humbled to help Andrew in this process. If you know us, you know that we’re big believers in making a house a home, and the comfort that comes from that.
The very best part, is always in the story. Of how the little things can bring a true comfort in calling a house a home. It’s a reminder of why we do what we do, and why we love it so much.
We’ve teamed up with one of Andrew and Heather’s dear friends {who is also a builder here in Nashville} and we’re thrilled to share that we’re helping Andrew and his children create a home from their house.
And we hope that the outcome will be of one that Heather would love.
So we hope to bring you updates here, step by step of the changes that will take place, and how we hope to make their home, a place perfect for Andrew and his children. These shots are some of the quick befores that we wanted to share here.
Looking back from our small part of the story, there are a lot of multifaceted angles to it all. But maybe that September night was meant to give us some perspective. Perhaps we wouldn’t have met, and we would have heard about Levi only from a distance if we hadn’t made that initial connection.
What we know is where we are now, and what we have in this moment. Life is short and you never know what other people are going through. But we’re thrilled to be a part of Andrew’s story, now.
It’s amazing what a child’s friendship, and a random selfless act {a fist full of tickets} can really do.
Often times, when you least expect it.
So stay tuned. We’ll be sharing more as we go.
You can read more of their story on Heather’s blog,
And I encourage you to read {probably the most beautiful post I’ve ever read} Andrew’s beautiful tribute to her, here.
April says
Such a sad story but I’m happy that you all can help make this next chapter a little more bearable for them. I know it will be fantastic once it’s done.
ashley @ the handmade home says
It’s a hard one to share. But we are so happy to hopefully be a part of a bit of a brighter spot. We only hope to do it justice. Thank you so much for your sweet comments!
Amanda says
This is sad. I am so glad you guys are doing something so neat with them
jenny says
Thanks so much for walking alongside this family. My first husband died of cancer and as a young widdow with two kids I wouldn’t have survived with out the amazing people who stepped up to help us during the days we struggled to do life. May God comfort their hearts as they remember the good times with their wife and mother and at the same time give them courage to move forward.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Jenny I am so sorry for your loss- It hurts my heart to hear of that. I am so glad you had some amazing people. Cancer sucks. Your sweet words will mean so much to them, I know. Hugs to you.
Gayle Wilson says
Bless both of you as you work beside this sweet family to create their home as Heather would have wanted it to be.
Deb Thompson says
WOW. i HAVE TO LEAVE MY DESK AT WORK TO TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE SO i DON’T LOOK LIKE THE CRAZY EMOTIONAL LADY GOING BANANAS AT HER DESK. MY KIDS ARE THE SAME AGES/GENDERS AS HEATHER’S. I READ HER BLOG POSTS, I STARTED ANDREW’S LETTER TO HER BUT SAVED THAT FOR WHEN I DON’T CARE WHAT I LOOK LIKE READING IT. I’M SO GLAD FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE, THE FISTFUL OF TICKETS, AND HOW YOU ARE LIVING LIFE ALONGSIDE ANDREWS AND HIS CHILDREN. I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW Y’ALL TRANSFORM THEIR HOUSE INTO A HOME.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Deb, you’re not alone. I cried writing this post. It’s a hard story to tell. And then I went back and read Andrew’s letter to her for the second time when I linked it up, just because it’s so beautiful and I wanted to be reminded again. And then I was a hot mess.
Bonnie says
Thank you for sharing this sweet story. I have tears running down my face. I know that Andrew and his children are blessed to have you in their lives and vice versa. Thank you for being so giving to others. I’m sure that’s why Aiden “caught” knowing how to give to others.
Kitty says
Oh my goodness Ashley. The hiccup ugly cries. What a touching story and lovely tribute to a sweet family. You truly never know what people are going through. Thank you for sharing this timely reminder to embrace each moment and hold dear the relationships that come our easy. đ
ROSE LEFEBVRE says
What a blessed gift to give! And at the same time gifting your souls and hearts.
Amber Williamson says
Thank you for coming alongside our dear friends and loving them well. This is a beautiful tribute and it brought tears to my eye. I hope to get the chance to know your family better. Heather and Andrew have both spoken very fondly of you.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so very much for your sweet words, Amber. And for stopping by with such kind words. We hope to meet you soon!
Brenda ley says
Hi. I am Heather’s mom. Thank you for your sweet words. I miss her dearly. Thank you for helping realize her dream for the house. I am excited to see it transform. I hear Levi speak so much of Aiden. Hope to meet you guys soon.
ashley @ the handmade home says
I can only imagine, Brenda. Thank you so much for stopping by. I know simple words and images fall short, but do hope that they bring to light her beautiful story for so many more. And we are more than thrilled to help with something so important – we adore your grandchildren. We look forward to meeting you, too.
Southern Gal says
You made me cry my make up off this morning. Heather sounds like a beautiful soul. The missing has to be hard for her family and friends, but the impact of having her in your lives has to be greater than the missing. Hugs and prayers for you all.