It’s 2023 and I came down with a nice dose of Covid this week. I know, right? Who knew it was still a thing. I have appointments to keep and work to do, deadlines to manage and children to tend to, and now Covid? I avoided people successfully for three entire years, because I’m an introvert and {happily} this is my life now. It’s like the pandemic showed me who the unstables were, and I was more than happy to do an avoid, full-time. Then my youngest, of all people, is the one who betrayed me. He wasn’t feeling well, and I decided to randomly test him with a dusty home test I dug out of the back of our pantry, because I’d heard it was making the rounds again a-la the Facebooks. And by his day three, I woke up to my day one after a restless night with a fever. Wheeee.
I made it this long. I was the meme of the guy vigorously dodging all the cones with a pair of skates, declaring I’d never been touched, and then, I got the Covid. But that’s probably a lie. Because technically, think I had it at the beginning of 2020 after attending the International Builder’s Show in Vegas before it was cool. Yep, I honestly think I was a Covid hipster.
That was Febuary-ish before the world ended. I remember going to the doctor and testing negative for the flu. I’ve never had the flu. Or strep. Or chickenpox. I’d considered myself super-human until now, if anyone is wondering. Like they might take my blood in a centrifuge and give it to all mankind to stop the spread of the next cool pandemic {yes, very main-character energy of me, I know}. But the doctor was all, “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…” and then paused for me to finish. And I was all, “BUT SIR, what about this CORONAVIRUS thing?” because they had no tests and that’s what we called it back in the olden days of yore. So looking back, this feels the exact same. To his credit at least he was kind of cute, minus a few points for dumb sayings. I remember because he was young and when the doctor is younger than you, that means you’re officially old.
I know. Before I go any further, some flat-earther is about to tell me Covid doesn’t exist and it was all planned with the same well-paid actors borrowed from local school shootings, along with chemtrails from the planes flying above all whilst birds spy on us because they’re actually drones. Or something. We don’t have to get weird about this. I know I’m really behind the times here when it comes to trending diseases, but like it or not, here I am.
If I’m being really honest with myself, I fantasized about it a little, in the past. I mean haven’t we all? The way someone fantasizes about having a literal breakdown and going to the hospital to “rest” a-la the Hollywood days of old? I don’t want full-on deathbed Covid. Just a smidge of Covid. Just a pinch with my morning coffee. Just enough to make me sleepy and give me a little rest. That kind of idealistic, made-up Covid sounded heavenly, to be honest.
No one. No one at all:
Me: I can’t go out *cough cough* I’m sick.
Don’t think I’m not going to order one of these bad boys.
I need one of those gowns with feathers on the sleeves. And I would have it just long enough to laze about and watch a few movies and sleep. Because {thankfully} I’m never sick, but what must it be like to not have insomnia? What must it be like when no one really bothers you? And what about body by Covid? That must be a nice side effect, right? I’ve been living my best life this summer so I could stand to shed a few pounds. Like Ozempic, but with Covid. Everyone else is cheating… why can’t I lose a few with a nice side of legit DISEASE?
Instead, I think I have bedsores with a thrown back because I’ve sat in this bed non stop. And all I have the energy for, is evaluating all the characters of Sex and the City’s Enneagram numbers on my phone, whilst not washing my hair. Did you know that Covid can actually cause constipation? So now I’m just bloated and tired. It’s like regular me, but with super powers.
I’m behind on everything, and nothing can make me spiral faster. Yeah, I know. Careful what you kind of, on the side, not-so-secretly wish for.
Jamin is making it worse. He’s the perfect nurse, and I know I don’t deserve it. We never fell seamlessly into the 1950’s version of marriage {get ready to clutch those pearls} but preferred to stay versatile instead. LARWD forbid a man NOT be a stereotype. People sit around bashing their husbands and I can’t relate because he’s actually fantastic. There have been 2.5 of us down in this house {Another ailment unrelated to Covid} and he’s been so good caring for everyone, all while running our business, cleaning up, helping kids with school projects… and that list keeps going. If the roles were reversed, I’m a terrible nurse. I’m basically the deadbeat {but very loveable, might I add} Don Draper from Mad Men. By day three, I’d be smoking a ciggy, telling him to get his crap together and that the kitchen is now open for self-serve at the risk of everyone’s well being.
In contrast, he’s bringing me fridge-chilled {sliced, with a dash of salt} grapefruit, while changing my dishes all while making sure I’m staying hydrated. It feels like I’m vacationing at the Maldives, except Nashville because the weather won’t even do me the courtesy of raining. I burst into tears {because Covid can also make you emotional? Basically you could google “Can Covid give you blue hair?” and there will be a result for that}. And he just tells me to rest.
I’m gearing up for the other shoe to drop, while also wondering if we’re in the clear. All joking aside, my youngest is on day 5 of a fever and I kind of need it to be over. I am now fully prepared to hand off that baton if/when Jamin does fall victim to such ailments. FINGERS CROSSED everyone else stays well. What a fun adventure that we absolutely didn’t sign up for. Suddenly I want to purchase that nightgown AND smoke a ciggy so I can method act on my fainting sofa. I mean what else have I got to lose? Jk. I’m definitely sitting here in some leftover Christmas jammies eating said chilled grapefruit with a messy, colonial-esque bun like a good girl. The redcoats are coming.
The sad part is, I know this is the easy part. The hard part will be {assuming I am lucky} having the patience to get through the recovery phase. I’m mad after day five. I also can’t handle a zit on my face after day two, so that should tell you a lot about my proclivity for endurance.
To see this entire tour, check it out here.
So yay to recovery. Watch out, friends. Apparently it’s still a {not-so-trending} thing. Wish me luck. I can’t go out *cough cough* I’m sick.
Disclaimer for those with rabies: Health is not something I take lightly. Anyone close to me knows I’m a hypochondriac and a loyal member of the self-diagnosable cancer-of-the-month club. Humor is my coping mechanism. I think any exhausted mom can relate to body by Covid. Cheers.
Kim Domingue says
Me, my husband and my son (who lives half of the country away from the me and the hubs) all came down with covid within a week of each otherā¦well after all of the lockdowns and mask wearing mandates and such were a memory. I thought I had strep throat even though Iād never had strep throat and was just going by what Iād heard from others whoād had strep throat say it felt likeā¦swallowing broken shards of glass. Nope. Doctor said youāve got covid. My brilliant response was āYouāre joking, right?ā. He was not. Sigh. All three of us had covid at about the same time. It was great fun having the husband and I down with it at the same timeā¦no one to nurse us in our āI think Iām dyingā moments plus worrying over my son having no one to nurse him in his āI think Iām dyingā moments and me to sick to drive two days to be at his bedside. Gah!
Now, my daughter insists that she and I had covid at the end of 2019 before knowledge of it was widespread. She and I were both down with a not your normal flu kind of flu. Once information came out about the covid 19 variant, we ticked off all of the boxes for it. So, I guess Iāve had it twice? Once or twice, it was a pain in the behind. I donāt do āsickā with anything even vaguely resembling patience. All of the things I should be or want to be doing dance before my bleary eyes taunting me as I heave myself out of my deathbed to go to the bathroom yet again and then make the exhausting journey of a thousand miles back to my bed of misery.
Glad you have a wonderful nurse and hope you and your son are feeling better soonest!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Oh my gosh this is all so relatable. I feel like Iām losing my mind š Thank you for this. Itās so irritating
Ellen Sloan says
You’re hilarious. Feel better!
Rose Lefebvre says
COVID will always be around, just like the flu, as both continue to mutate and harrass us. We will need to continually be inoculated for it just like the flu. I also had COVID in June after all the shots which protected me from dying. Without them I would have.
Cynthia Lucarotti says
Feel better SOON! Thank goodness for your sense of humorš can you tell me you got the rug in your bedroomā¦since you have nothing else to doš³
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey! Thanks so much! I have the entire space & all the links here. I hope that helps! https://www.thehandmadehome.net/a-fresh-build-primary-bedroom-reveal/
Erica M says
Feel better mama!! I do hope Jamin stays well & the others too!! ā¤ļø If you do need me to drop something off on your porch PLEASE let me know if I can be of help. Just don’t blow any of it our way please. So far, so good around the corner over here. š¤
*Oh & the brain fog & fatigue is FO REAL!! Give yourself grace for awhile & take it easy if you need…even after you’re ‘better!’
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe thank you Erica! You’re too sweet. You’re right – that is the hard part. I keep thinking I can end my quarantine and then I realize I’m here for the long haul when I count the days and realize I have more to go. So far so good with the rest of the fam staying well {knock on wood}! Hope you guys stay well. It is definitely going around in this franklin / nashville area. GROSS.
kim says
Definitely going around again – after 3.5 years of working in hospital during the whole thing and avoiding it my husband and I both got it, took paxlovid and got rebound cases so we were laid up for nearly 3 weeks. Luckily our young adult boys stepped up and did grocery shopping and made or picked up meals for us. They set up a stand outside our room that we found stocked with water and snacks most mornings and where they would drop our meals with strict instructions not to open the door until they were well out of the germ zone!! Luckily they did not get sick from us. Hope you are feeling better soon, itās no fun to quarantine in summer.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Awe I’m so sorry! How awful to get a rebound case. New fear unlocked. I am glad you are better now though! No it is not fun to quarantine in the summer. My tan is fading. š HA! I guess that’s a champagne prob and I will be just fine.