Hey guys! We were a little overdue for another post in this series, and we’re really glad to be back. If you’ve been tuned in, you may notice from our post a few days ago that the vibe of all things purging is probably about to get a little heated over here.
Like, pull a dumpster to the house and go bat crap cray out of a window wondering why we own anything at all, heated.
We’ve been doing this series for years now, and we’ve had lots of pointers, tips, ideas and even flow charts to follow because we’re dorks like that. Wheeeeee!
But looking back, if I could tell you what our number one rule is, it’s this:
Don’t let guilt dictate anything you do. Ever.
This could probably be a great life application, too. Because it’s important. It really is. If you hear/read/process nothing else from this series. If you never read another post on this website. Remember that. It’s so easy to let guilt dominate our every day lives. But when it comes to purging your home and simplifying your life… guilt can downright take over and dominate, when you don’t even realize it. Sneaky little jerk.
There are two elements that can become a bit confusing when dealing with our homes and our lifestyles. I truly believe one includes a completely different outcome than the other.
Guilt vs. Conviction. The two are often confused.
If I’m feeling guilty about something, it usually comes from an outside source.
Guilt is usually the initial feeling… a reaction to something. For example: I would start cleaning out my home because I was playing the comparison game with what I saw as perfection, in someone elses’ home. I felt guilty that my home wasn’t ‘up to par’. Guilt is my first reaction. It may initially inspire us to start cleaning out our homes, based on something we feel. Great for motivation’s sake, but it’s usually for the all wrong reasons.
Ironically enough, once you get going with the process, I’ve also noticed that guilt usually keeps us from throwing things out. Memories attached. Money spent. Emotions assigned to a truly unimportant item means I keep it. I don’t really want to keep it. But I do. I cling to the possibility. The memory. The notion. And because it’s a decision based on my temporary feelings, I am always left unhappy.
If I’m feeling conviction for something, I feel strongly about it. This is because something else has influenced me, but it is not a reaction. It is a decision.
It’s something that changes my previously made up mind. Something that can transform you, if you hold fast to it. Something you decide on your own, based on what you observe. Something that truly opens your eyes. It changes your entire perspective and outlook. Because of conviction, it infiltrates your life and changes how you feel about everything.
I believe that in the past, when it came to our home, I felt guilty about everything. I saw things piling up, and felt bad about it… I observed what seemed to be perfection with other people and in general, would begin for all the wrong reasons. So I would clean. But I would stop purging, because I felt bad about that, as well. I was torn by guilt. Guilt was a reaction, and it caused my ultimate indecision. My stalemate.
I would fail and burn out.
What is different this time?
In the past, I’ve come to a place in my life where I’m truly ready for something different. Beyond the purge, is the simplification of our lives. One word that keeps galloping through my mind… through my intent in transforming our home is the word convicted.
Like any time our eyes have been opened when we’ve been illuminated and changed in a way we never saw coming… It becomes part of our lives.
This is a lifestyle change, and not a guilt-ridden purge fest. Though I do believe that guilt can be a natural part of the process, it’s important that we recognize when it begins to creep into our lives. Like any real change that must take place in your lives, it can’t be ruled by guilt. It must be a decision made with a clear, rational mind. And in turn, that conviction calls for us to act on it.
Have you looked back and noticed changes in your life based on guilt or conviction? Have you fallen on your face like me before when you were feeling guilty?
Here we go. For Narrrnnniiiiaaaaaaaaa!!!! You’re not alone. Spill it! ;}
Continue reading more about organizational tips for your home and life in by clicking here.
Michelle in CA says
Hello! I am new to your blog (& IG). In the last two weeks , I have been purging our home like nobody’s business. I have let go of all the things guilt has bound me to (mostly feeling guilt through the “I might need it some day” and “I would feel so wasteful getting rid of this” mentality. I’ll tell you, the lightness I feel from not having all that “stuff” trumps any feeling of guilt. My husband and I have a goal to make our house minimal to the point where *if* we did have to move, it wouldn’t seem like an overwhelming task (we have three kids too!).
Clover says
I think those of us who are not naturally super tidy and minimalists always feel guilty when we see the perfectly neat friends house or the minimal homes online. But it is important to embrace our nature and while conviction and “minimalism” are very appealing for the calmness it is ok to not be that way too. I have been paring down our stuff and it helps keep things neat but I am also embracing that I will always have a few piles of overflowing papers and my house can get really messy within an hour of cleaning it. This is our life and if I feel guilty for it I can’t enjoy the life that is being lived in those messy times.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Oh amen Clover! It’s definitely not about perfection- you have to find a balance for sure
Rose L. says
One of my friends told me that the memories are in me and not the item. She suggested taking photos of things and make a memory album. It helped.