Ahhhh Summer. The time of the year when the nation breathes one big collective grateful sigh of relief.
We simply can not anymore with the homework. We can not anymore with the programs. And we can not anymore with the parties.
We can not. Anymore.
Now that we’re one year in and we’ve returned to mainstream {I have no idea how to word that in a diplomatic manner – are we fish?} I’m honestly torn about all things end-of-school. Because on one hand the kids are home and we are so happy that they are home! I’m savoring all the moments and doing all the things! YAY parenthood!
The kids are out, and we have no more homework!
Also, the kids are out.
On rainy day number two of summer, we were all, Wow we once upon a time did this full time?! Homeschooling is a lot like having a baby. Once they’re bigger, you forget the work that went into it all. Which is funny, because once upon a time, I didn’t complain -there was no such luxury. I saw the chaos on social media, and I sat back and thought, well… we’re together 24/7 so maybe those people should stop complaining already. {Insert my Batman voice in italics with your eye roll here because coping mechanisms.} It should also be noted that when people said “Oh, I could never homeschool,” I would respond with a martyred, “We do what we must,” and stare mistily off into the distance while I whipped out my crown for another jewel and played a tiny violin.
Okay. I’m pretty sure I only did that in my head, but feel free to hand out some head pats. I know that was special.
There’s something about sending your kids back after you’ve homeschooled. Like, you probably don’t follow the rules as much as you once did. For instance, while we took nothing for granted, I kind of went on homework strike when we had one month to go. It wasn’t stubbornly purposeful or anything, its just that we couldn’t handle it. I literally threw my hands in the air and said “peace” and left my first grader to pitch a fit over his math. I blame it on the pool, which was directly proportional to the warmth of the weather and all things care-o-meter. Like senioritis but worse, because I have a family to feed and work to accomplish.
It should be noted that I am a stellar upstanding citizen and good mother, but see also: keeping it real.
So let’s just say I never really took teachers for granted this year. Because if educating my own kids for three years was a challenge, I can only imagine what a class full of them are like. I’d imagine, likened to a classroom full of raptors.
I can only fathom teachers’ emotions each end of the year. They have to be on edge. I mean, sometimes my own kids get on my nerves, so I’d have to be super diplomatic and stuff when I just wasn’t feeling it that day… and that’s putting it nicely. No, Timmy. I don’t give a FRIGGIN rat’s #&$ if your homework wasn’t done. ::BANGS HEAD REPEATEDLY ON DESK::
I won’t even touch the topic of parents because I’m pretty sure we’re all insufferable at one point or another. Bless.
So I said all that to say, if we can not anymore, I can not imagine how the teachers feel. Really.
This Fall after homeschooling for three years, we went back to school. We loved homeschooling and it was an incredible journey with our family, but it was time. I knew it was time, when I started placing jewels in my crown and playing tiny violins. See also my above description with me as a teacher. It was just too much to juggle and it was the right decision for us, personally. Out of all the things with this transition {we also moved this past year}, I knew that going back would be the hardest thing. There are a lot of things we still disagree with. There are pros and cons to both. It’s hard being a parent. Secretly, it was our biggest anxiety and our greatest concern. I mean, hello common core math. Yes, that is what I chose to fixate on.
And it was rough at first, with one child in particular.
Two of our children adjusted with absolutely no hiccups. They grew immediately and we knew it was the right choice. {High fives in the good parenting choices department.} One child, however, had no sense of self preservation coupled with no desire to go. We’re talking screaming in the carpool line, one month in, no desire to go. Clinging to the car while teachers pulled said child out, no desire to go. I couldn’t even take them anymore because I would leave in tears every time, too.
It’s honestly one of the hardest things we’ve been through.
Have you ever been there in one way or another with parenting? Because we questioned our decision and wondered if it was the right thing to do. We lost sleep. I thought I’d probably scarred this child for life. I had to say it out loud because it’s true what they say: “this too shall pass,” but it was a rough one. I took it personally. I figured I even subconsciously transferred my anxiety to this child. Jamin reminded me that this aforementioned child did the very same thing in kindergarten before we even began to homeschool. As far as babies are concerned, said child came out screaming, and this entire transition with a lot of big changes at once, was just amplified. It didn’t help that we still hadn’t moved into our house. The pressure for all things deadline and finishing up for more stability, was officially on.
It was in that difficult adjustment period, that we saw some amazing things happen. We had meetings with teachers and counselors. We observed some incredible people take the time to work one on one with our child. They kept tabs and reported to us throughout the day. I watched the counselors and teachers spend extra time with our child, so that they could continue to flourish and grow. I was astounded by the level of kindness and expertise and glorious patience with which the situation was handled.
Then as suddenly as it began, it stopped.
The months rolled by and the calendar days peeled back, and I watched all of our children grow. Our fears were replaced with reassurance, as finally, we adjusted.
This too, had indeed passed.
Isn’t that what always happens in life? Things seem forever away. They seem impossible to accomplish. And then one day, it happens. And you forget how hard that waiting or difficulty period or whatever it is for you, really was.
Finally, we started to grow into our new normal.
Our kiddos each came home with intriguing takes on the day. They would spout off facts about plants and their stages of growth without prompting. Their stories about new friends and school and all the amazing things happening there were filled with pure joy. One child, who previously showed no interest in reading, turned into a bookworm. So there was a process in this journey and their education. Hand in hand, we watched them all continue with their love of learning on a level we could no longer provide this past year on our own, both socially and academically. We watched them change and grow through challenges in ways we didn’t know were possible.
We slowly but surely were able to release a little of that parental guilt. We took a step back and realized that our roles have changed. We’re just as much a part of their education as before, but in a different way. It was painful to let go a little bit, but also healthy for us. We found ourselves able to facilitate open conversation and provide a great foundation for the next chapter. Fear was replaced with reassurance. Tears with smiles. We looked at each other one night after they’d headed to bed, and said “We’re doing this!” And we felt really good about our decision. Cue a dancing montage from the movies, because we were celebrating.
So now the end of the year is here.
Just last week it seems like it was snowing, and now it’s suddenly summer time. We can’t believe so much time has gone by. Shoes have been outgrown. There have been a few more visits from the tooth fairy. My heart hurts a little each time I hear them use a bigger word. But it’s all in the very best of ways.
We see how inspired our children are, and we feel inspired by the wonderful people who worked with each of them this year.
So at the beginning of the year, we had a child who absolutely didn’t want to go back to school. There were tears. And there were days when we didn’t think it would get any better. We wondered if we’d made the right decision. It was so painful at first, we questioned everything.
And yesterday, on the last day of school, this same child came to me sobbing again.
It had been so long since I’d seen them worked up in this way, I didn’t realize why, at first.
So they curled up in my lap and cried some more.
This time, it was because school is over. The tears were because they were so devastated and those teachers will absolutely be missed.
Here we are with the very same child, and this time, the tears are because they will miss those wonderful glorious people who worked so hard this year.
Who knew.
The world needs more good teachers.
The patient, inspiring, kind and pure-hearted people who not only put up with our children every day, but they inspire them. Thank you. Sometimes I wonder if teachers truly realize the immeasurable impact they really have.
And if you ask our child, the very same one who screamed and cried with no sense of self preservation at the beginning of the year, what they want to be when they grow up…
They will respond with a smile and reply, “A teacher.”
And that, is no coincidence.
Beth Norwood says
Love this! Thank you for your candid look at life as a parent/teacher/adult! I couldn’t agree more! I’m a teacher, and once I became a parent of school-aged children- I stopped assigning homework! I did this due to the head-banging I was doing at home with my kids, and at school with my students! You hit that one spot on!
Enjoy your summer!
Karyn says
Oh such a beautiful, heartwarming post! Thanks for reminding us (teachers) why we do what we do! I really needed to read this post today! Thank you!
Marian at CMShawStudios says
Bless you for this. I am just finishing up a year where a child needed me to stay very, very close. But the challenge that required that is over. So I feel like it’s time to step back and give her much more autonomy. I am surprised at how hard this is turning out to be. I never thought I would miss being so heavily involved, but I already do. And it’s only been a few weeks. So thank you for your assurances that it will get better. That my child (and I ) will thrive eventually as we move into a new normal. This post has allayed some serious concerns and helped me put down a good chunk of guilt.
The Other Marian
Charlotte says
This really hit home for me. My daughter is a second year teacher and takes her job very seriously. I hear all the good and bad stories about the kids, and yes about so many parents who do not invest the necessary time in to raising their children. It is a tough job and this post really made me proud of my daughter. She is the teacher who is teaching the meaning of integrity to her students. She did this with her 2nd grade class last year and again with her 4th graders this year. Thank you for recognizing these wonderful human beings educating and helping raise our children.
Kathie Guinan says
Thank you for the kind words about teachers! I wish there were more parents like you…supportive and appreciative. Every child is good, teachable and full of potential but some parents can be very difficult! I am a teacher and I love this post. Thank you for recognizing the positive impact teachers make in the lives of children!
Bonnie says
That’s such a sweet story with a wonderful ending! I’m so glad that it turned out that way. One of my daughters is a special ed teacher. I am so proud of her. She was voted Teacher of the Year at her school last year by her fellow teachers but in all honesty, she puts in incredibly long hours at school and works a full day on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. She truly loves her students and what she does but it takes its toll on her physically and emotionally.