purging: ten mantras to live by

I’ll be honest, y’all. Our home has been on the market for ten months. It’s a slow market here, painfully slow. But suddenly things have picked up {see: painfully lower price}. So we haven’t really had time in between keeping our home absolutely perfect for {now frequent} showings, to empty out our cabinets and start a mound of stuff in the realm of purging when we feel like we are oh so close to finally moving forward. I can see me now, just as I decide to tackle the laundry room with another round of let’s-get-rid-of-these-things-we-don’t-need… when that phone rings. I’m basically doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t do, and saving it all for that moment of packing. Which is probably really, really stupid. Or amazing. I’ll let ya know when it finally happens.

I feel like a faker, because it’s kind of impossible right now to dive into this whole heartedly. But I can feel it in my bones, choosing the route of absolute optimism since I am now faced with a choice: a. to curl up and die, convinced I will rot here {I’ll be that lady they find buried under books and craft supplies} or b. keep trudging along. Because oh so soon, we will be the people who have basically pulled a dumpster up to our house, chunking things out the window so we don’t have to move them in a weird rain-dance kinda celebration where the neighbors call the cops because we both had mental breakdowns. Wheeeee!

I feel a little like this –

My soul dies a little every time I have to stuff the dog treats/homeschool curriculum/bra/dirty dishes/latest project into my cabinets so someone can come look at my house and then we don’t hear from them again. Seriously. Stop being nosy if you’re only half interested. I’m getting kinda stabby. Can you tell after my last post on the subject matter that I’ve kept my mouth shut for ten months and I’ve finally had enough? Now that I feel better, just know we’re totally with you in empathetic spirit if your home is for sale. We will never. Do this. Again. I know life throws you curve balls, but we will try everything in our power. Let’s all make matching t-shirts, light our angry mob torches and start a club.

So, totally reeling it in, here’s a wonderful post from the past, ten mantras I still believe in, when it comes to purging your home.

1. Get rid of it… Now. 

Do not pass go. Do NOT collect 200 dollars. You know that obnoxious gingerbread house kit you purchased at Christmas that you see every time you go to your pantry, that takes up three feet of space, because you purchased three when you were feeling especially jolly, thinking you’d make them for Christmas individually with each child? And even their packaging is obnoxious because it’s large and in charge? Only when it comes down to it, you ran out of time with the holidays, and gingerbread houses are messy and annoying and we always have picturesque expectations, that end up in crumbs and potential temper tantrums based on peppermint misplacement? But you feel guilty because you never made them but spent money on them so you must be a lousy parent because your children are officially neglected based on your Christmas gingerbread status update that never made it to join the other gingerbread status updates on Facebook, so three months later you’re letting them take up space in your pantry because you think that any day now you’ll tackle the gingerbread houses and have them displayed oh-so-festively even though it’s Easter?

Guilty. Chunk them. Chunk them now. That jazz is taking up valuable real estate and your kids will never know the difference. Do a little easter egg hunting instead, and call it a day. We spend way too much time and space and energy clinging to things that just don’t matter because they were impulse buys based on unrealistic expectations placed on us by society and now we feel bad. Get rid of them and you’ll feel freed and better. Promise.

Which brings us to…

2. Ask yourself why.

When in doubt… when something stresses you out because you just can’t deal with it… question why you’re hanging on to it. Really. It’s okay to let it go. “Fear and guilt are the two main reasons people hang on to things,” says the professional residing in an important city quoted by a special magazine no one has ever heard of but usually validates the previous sentence before this one. From my own experience, I’ve found this to be the case… and once we learn to let go of that and feel conviction instead, it’s a whole new ballgame in life.

That doesn’t mean it won’t rear its ugly head every now and again. All these little decisions can be completely overwhelming. You can limit what you bring into your home all you want. But everyone has those proverbial gingerbread boxes in moments of weakness and hopes of being the ideal parent… that they regret later. If you’re holding on to it, question why. And that’s just part of life. Let it go, and move on. It’s a reminder of what you ran out of time to do, and no one needs that because we’re all doing the best that we absolutely can. Drop the guilt. You’ll feel better.

3. Have defining philosophies, and stick to them. 

We have two.

Are we always flawless about this? NOPE. Because then we would have a perfect home, and that doesn’t exist. The ones in blogs and magazines just have a bunch of crap shoved out of the way, and their closets are even worse because they were getting ready for a shoot and aintnobodygottimeforthat. Trust me. I know. But they’re nice reminders when in doubt. Make them easy to remember, and say them to yourself over and over gain when going through a state of purging. It will make your choices so much easier.

4. Make it a part of your every day habit. 

When you’re on the phone, make a deal with yourself that you’ll keep your hands busy by cleaning out a drawer while you talk. If you’re making a list for the grocery store, chunk what you see that’s out of date or donate what you just won’t use. Keep a pile going for things that need to be donated from your closet. It’s a continual cycle that is life… and while limiting the things coming in is the first step, it’s also healthy to keep the flow moving so that your home doesn’t become stagnant. Purge. And then purge again. “Would you rather drink from a fresh running spring, or a stagnant pond?” {Insert second random quote in the form of a clever metaphor from qualified person interviewed for article, here.} Different things work for different people. Some enjoy doing one bag a day. Others prefer every weekend as a part of their cleaning routine. I find that keeping things simplified down to a challenge definitely helps. If I don’t know what’s on the inside of a cabinet before I even open it, maybe it’s time for a reboot. That’s what keeps your home simple, knowing where almost everything is, after all. A place for everything… and everything in it’s place… becomes embodied in a true lifestyle.

5. Decide what your routine will be.

And hold yourself to it, too. For us personally, we usually do major seasonal purges twice a year where we divide and conquer the entire house while working in zones. And then little, easily manageable ones (like the ones mentioned above) all year long. Rather than ignoring the problem and shoving it in the closet to do that shoot {see: like before} we’re keeping it under control by managing it under our own systems. We may sound like obsessed sticklers, but we know how we work best and we roll with that. The key to success is finding what works for you. And now we even love our closets.

6. Reevaluate the blind spots. 

Every room has those blind spots that we tend to skim over. For instance, in our bathroom, I probably don’t need twelve bottles of nail polish even though my little girl is currently obsessed with every different color of the rainbow. Some of that nail polish is well over a year old and will never dry when applied to my nails. I need to purge it. Have I gotten to that yet? Nope. And my kitchen doesn’t really need thirty different plastic cups that are exactly alike from VBS last summer. Set rules and follow them.

For instance, with beercanmoldpocalypse ’14 {aka bathroom remodel} we’re all using one tiny hallway bathroom in our home. This means only our essentials were moved from the larger bathroom to this one. That also means that the clinique samples that are now over two years old didn’t come with us and are sitting in the floor of my closet. I’ve made a rule that the things I don’t go back to get by the time we’re finished with the remodel, will be purged. If you need to take some time to make sure, do that. But set limits + rules while developing a process. You’ll be glad for it.

7. I purged. Now what?

As if dividing and conquering isn’t hard enough… now what do I do with it all?

It can be absolutely freeing to donate your things and do a good deed for others. Honestly, some of it we simply couldn’t be bothered to figure out, and it made me feel better to know it was going to a person in need, so the majority of that initial purge in our home was donated. But a few things are probably good for some funds for your family, and who doesn’t like seeing a little cash as a side benefit and motivation? We broke it down for fun, in this post here.

For example: While I would love to live in a minimalist all white home in Scandinavia, I also need to be realistic with our lifestyle. I write a home blog. We have three young children that are doted on often by their grandparents at every major holiday. That means that we probably tend to go through cycles with spaces and things more often than the “regular” person. That also means that Craigslist is probably the best route for that dresser we just sold.

 8. Allow yourself a sentimental stash

With limits.

As if the regular old junk pile isn’t hard enough… what about that mix tape your bestie made you in high school? And your lava lamp that you had in college? And that baby picture pile your mom gave to you when she was purging her own house? {Curses upon you for taking pictures of me as a baby and saving all my teeth, mom and dad.} His baby book? Those newspaper clippings of that time you won the science fair in fifth grade? And where is a tape player so I can listen to said mixtape, anyway?

I’m a bit of a sentimental fool. I get it honestly, after all. To the point where I want to curl up in the fetal position and cry if people start waving things around and tell me I must choose in an intervention. Hoarders gives me hives. But last spring we made a choice after bringing five huge boxes down from the attic and digging through all my old track and choir medals: allow yourself a sentimental stash, but within reason. I have this trunk, with a really fun saying on it that serves just that purpose for storage. If we go over, I must sort a few things. But so far, so good. Sentimental things are stored here and I know exactly where they are… no longer residing in fifty different places all around our home. Because I didn’t really need to keep every single note from every single friend in junior high… but after saving the best and realizing that our yearbooks would also be nice, we settled on this. I think it’s important for our children to remember us, so within reason, here we are. And thank goodness for digital photos and our own babies.

9. You can have a junk drawer

I promise. And your world won’t fall apart. It’s like allowing yourself to have chocolate when you’re trying to lose weight and eat better. You’ll do better as a result. Stay realistic about it all and you’ll stay on track.

10. Have a little grace with yourself.

This probably {technically} goes under number 9’s junk drawer statement. But we thought it deserved its own number. When you’re starting out, it’s hard. When you’re in the middle of it holding yourself accountable, it’s hard. I think we all need to remember that we have lives to live as well… and sometimes it’s better to go to the park with my kids than clean out a drawer. That means that sometimes things will be a little messier for the time being. Remember what your phase of life is, focus on how far you’ve come, take a deep breath, and just keep going. You can take breaks. Three months long, if you wish. But don’t stop. That’s all that matters.

That, and chocolate. ;}

We hope these little mantras help in staying focused – what are some you live by? Have an inspired day, friends!