You know that crucial developmental stage smack dab in the middle of your formative years? The one where you were a teenager, and you weren’t really listening to your parents when you probably should have been?
At thirteen, I had stellar, grade-a, one-of-a-kind, superman-sonic listening abilities in situations where it mattered. See: Hanging out with my crush at the neighborhood pool. (My version of hanging out = the awkward combo of silently stalking the diving board while my spiral-permed, Chelsea Clinton-esque 90’s hair {trust me when I say, it was bad} slowly turned a delightful shade of oscar-the-grouch green over the process of an eight week period. Also see: Late bloomer. I diligently prayed for real-live lady parts and still weighed a whopping 65 pounds. Awesome.)
But back from that train wreck of a thought derailment : When I wasn’t in superman stealth/chealseaclintonwithgreenhair mode, I would forget to take out the trash, clean up my room, and unload the dishwasher… because I didn’t hear my parents tell me to until about the fifth time. My mom proclaimed (with a level of justifiable annoyance and an exasperated sigh) that I had a delicate condition known as selective hearing. And if I didn’t clean up, I wasn’t allowed to stalk the pool.
I caught myself telling my oldest that very same thing the other day when I’d asked him to pick up his latest lego explosion for the third time in a row. I sounded just like my mom.
I am the epitome of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We have brass doorknobs. The really awful plasti-coated-über-yellow-a-la-eightiesfantasticalness ones.
For about two years after we first moved in, they drove me to the infinitesimal levels of cray cray, and now? I just pretend that I don’t see them. They don’t exist. We will finally replace them, on the brink of their comeback a-la Robert Downey, Jr.. And then we will be filled with regret and grief, and forever label ourselves the ultimate failures in the doorknob / wasted energy / money spent department.
Yep. I’m perfectly happy pretending they don’t exist.
Our kitchen faucet drives us up the wall. Up. The. Wall. It’s an all-or-nothing situation… Firehose-mode on, or off. That’s it. But we know how to work it, and forget about it’s levels of ridiculosity until someone comes over and is involuntarily baptized with the possessed white-water-ricochet faucet from Hades.
We laugh it off with our doused guest, mumbling something about surprise conversions …mixed in with other unintelligible apologies. We swear to replace it… later.
And the other day, I walked by this wall in our living room and a small, out of place, barely-hanging-there photo that I’d never even noticed before, suddenly drove me absolutely insane.
It’s been that way for months. I know this because I even put it in a post, here. My OCD self had to see the last time I took a photo of that wall, and look just to see how long it had been that way before I even noticed it. I’m all, stupid wonky picture. Time to change out the entire frame…
Until I choose to forget about it again.
Hi, my name is Ashley. And I have selective sight (and memory) when it comes to our home.
I totally have the same condition with my house that I had as a teenybopper-late-bloomer-green-haired-awkward-girl at the pool that summer. {Except this time, pass me the straightener because kids made my hair curly, and I’m laughing at my thirteen year old idiotic self.} In regards to our home: I jumped on the obligatory denial train a very long time ago.
Sometimes we will ourselves to unsee those imperfections, don’t we? And sometimes, we just can’t see them. We grow so frustrated with and/or accustomed to them, we block them out. This is a real-life, fault-filled world… and our homes can’t be perfect.
Ironically enough, isn’t that what makes our lives… our homes…. so beautiful?
I have laundry to do, toys to pick up, mouths to feed and poop to clean. Those brass doorknobs are at the very bottom of my list.
Selective sight can be a good step towards contentment in our home.
And if we don’t master the fine art of being patient… contempt.
It’s a fine line. A learned skill. And it all depends on our perspective.
In the meantime, as it pertains to that long list of imperfections, I’ve stopped angsting, apologizing, and making excuses for them. I’ve changed the things that matter to us in our home, and literally turned a blind eye to those things that don’t…
And I will, until they do.
Because sometimes there’s more important things to do.
Do you have selective sight when it comes to your home? What’s something you’ve embraced? What’s something you’re working on?
Have an inspired day, y’all!
Elisa says
I absolutely have selective sight too! Our home was damaged by water a few years ago and we had to gut it and start over in e.v.e.r.y. room. It’s so much better than it was – but I have had to choose to forget thing like the fact that there is a hole in the wall by my front door. Left open so my husband could wire up a doorbell. (the hole has been there for 6 months) And we have no base molding in our kitchen. And…I could go on and on. Selective memory is a great thing or we’d all go crazy! 🙂
Brittany says
I must have some form of selective sight too! I cannot see the wonky picture you’re talking about! 🙂
Julie says
omg, ha! this is too funny! my mother and law and I always talk about how we can both pretend we aren’t there when we’re in a situation that we don’t like or don’t want to be a part of. too funny! I just pretend I’m not there.
Judy Komoroski says
Quit ignoring those brass doorknobs! My husband changed our door hardware from brass to oil rubbed bronze one door at a time using Rust-Oleum metallic spray. It’s amazing and comes in a variety of finishes and, so far, has held up without a chip or scratch.
ashley @ the handmade home says
haha… I guess that wasn’t really my point… but if I take the time to take them off, I won’t be putting them back on. ;} I’m not really a fan of oil rubbed bronze. I know. Let the angry mob torches commence. I want a stone or antique or something fun and mixed. So I’m waiting. ;}
Judy Komoroski says
Sorry! I did get and appreciate your point! : ) I think our homes would drive us crazy without some selective vision and I did ignore ours for a long time. I just identified too much with that brass doorknob picture you posted. Haha!
Megan says
Is it good? I’m thinking of doing this so that mine all match. Our previous homeowners painted all the hardware (including nice big back plates that are original) the same color as the door. It wouldn’t be horrible but every door is a different color. So as I go through and work on every room, I want to attack the doors and hardware too.
Judy Komoroski says
We’ve been very happy with the results….no scratches or chips. Rustoleum has lots of metallic and stone finishes. My husband didn’t paint the first set of hinges on both sides and as a result we had very nicely striped brass and bronze hinges when the door was closed! It sure beat the cost of replacing every piece of hardware.
Laura says
When I start to get all pedantic about things in my home, I remind myself that I live here with my family. No one else. I don’t have to live up to someone else’s expectation for my home. I don’t even have a blog, so who (that I don’t know) is going to see what we haven’t gotten to yet?! I love to read your gut-bustingly hilarious posts, see what you’ve been working on around the homestead, and identify with your human-ness as a parent. Does it matter one iota if I wouldn’t choose to do things exactly like you guys have? Nope! So rock on, brass doorknobs! Put a video camera by your kitchen sink and film your guests having an AFV moment. Or pretend it’s like when Nacho baptizes Esquelito in Nacho Libre! You have worked hard this year to choose to see the important, and I am enjoying the fun reminders to do the same!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Bwahahahahaha! Nacho Libre!!! One of my all time favorite moments. Amen sister. Amen. ;}
April says
Our house was built in 1966. So yeah there are MANY things I have to overlook. One of them being that most of our interior doors and most of the doorknobs do not match. Some are original doors to the home and some have been replaced with the builder grade doors from Lowe’s and non matching knobs. It bothers me to no end but I have a 2 year old and one on the way so I’m not doing anything about it. Besides none of the doorways are square anyways so we would have to trim down any doors we bought.
melissa gray says
Wow, I have selective sight like no other! other than the general mess that is our home (my husband and kids have no idea how to pick up after themselves), our house was built in the 50’s and has had some remodeling but still needs a lot of work. like, we have uneven floors in our basement. as in, they didn’t pour the concrete slab flat. but we just pretend it is. and in our kitchen, our faucet works the exact same way as yours does. and our cabinets, oh just ignore the extremely faded finish and parts that are peeling, as well as the hideous cooktop. we figure we’ll get there eventually, and I just try not to be too OCD over all of it.
Tania @ Run To Radiance says
Yes- I have to otherwise I would go crazy! Especially during our house wide remodel- I’m just content if I don’t step on a mail, get ternus & die. 😛
Megan says
I have this issue too. It’s with my kitchen. It’s horrible. I pretend I cook in what it WILL look like in the future. New white cabinets, some sort of multi-colored stone or stone like counter top (whatever we like and can afford), new floor (hopefully salvaging our wood floor), and a gorgeous tile back splash. Oh, and new appliances. But for now, this kitchen (http://thebrickbungalow.blogspot.com/search/label/kitchen) works and prepares meals for my friends and family. Sometimes having selective issues keeps us sane. Or at least that’s my thought.
Catherine says
I pretend my husband and son are at the library when they are actually riding their bikes over some crazy high jumps or down some crazy steep mountain. Yep. The library.
Jeni Johnson says
Oh how I need to work on my selective sight! We bought our home a year ago. We did some drastic remodeling right away but could only afford so much (we live in So Cal, my husband is a teacher, enough said). There are so many things we want to fix or change! While we feel blessed to have a home of our own, I am embarrassed by all the stuff that still needs to be done. We have not had a housewarming, not had friends over because I don’t think it’s presentable yet. I need to get over myself & ignore those things we can’t take care of yet! I know our friends & family won’t care. Thanks for all your amazing ideas & your great sense of humor. Your blog is truly inspirational.
Jaime Costiglio says
Might I suggest the Delta touch2o faucet as your replacement? 🙂
Love your ‘selective sight’ mentality, that’s what
Gets me through the mountain of projects.
Hillary @ The Friendly Home says
Yes, skip the selective sight when it comes to the faucet. 🙂
I had selective sight as a kid, hence the hiked up jeans on my no-waist body. Ugggghhhh. It’s painful looking at old photos! Now I use those powers on the nasty carpet in the upstairs part of my house. It will be gone…someday!
alison says
Oh my word. The popcorn ceilings in my home. But seriously, am I really going to muster up enough energy to scrape that stuff off with toddlers underfoot?
P.S. Husband just got home from a youth trip and nobody died!;)
ashley @ the handmade home says
Bwahahahha! SO glad no one died!! And amen to popcorn ceilings. BLECH.
ErinY says
While I’m a little upset that you’re basically telling me this never goes away, I”m glad to know I’m not the only one out there! lol
Suzanne says
I tend to be super duper OCD about things in my home! But with three relatively small children I am constantly repeating this mantra in my head “one day they will be grown and I can have it the way I want it”. Until then I will try to focus on enjoying their littleness even with all the craziness it brings! Thanks for being an inspiration! 🙂
Kitty says
You crack me up! Every time. I am TRYING to embrace the fact that I am unable to have ANY area rugs. One of my dogs thinks that any rug is her personal toilette. One day…. For now I embrace my pretty (albeit nekked) hard wood floors.
Tiffany says
Yes! My kitchen at the moment! It will have to wait…
Katja @ Shift Ctrl Art says
Love it. I do that too. The previous owners of our house installed bathroom glass in our kitchen window. I’ll wait here while you re-read that… Yes they did that…
I don’t really “see” it anymore until I then… see it again. Uaghh.
I am in the process of fixing it. 🙂
Aubrey says
I have selective sight in the bottom half of our home. We live in a bi-level and our kitchen, living room, main bathroom and dining area are all upstairs (read: the areas friends see). Downstairs is the bedrooms and second bath.
So, upstairs is decorated, kept clean, is more updated, and downstairs still has dark wood doors and brass doorknobs. Not to mention a bedroom full of storage as we continue to outgrow our house!
So I get it – if you don’t look past it, you will go crazy! In the meantime, I am trying to get my friend to hand over her crystal doorknobs that she “hates.” I am happy to take them off her hands!!!
Tennille Mykula says
Hey Ashley, I’ve embraced the fact that our carpet is stained and our couch is old but we have little, little kids and what would be the point in replacing either of them right now? We will have mismatched chesterfields in the future that are all worn in leather and tufted teal velvet and not from a big box store but until that day comes we’re going to play dinky cars, read books, watch movies and probably get the flu on that couch at least one more time.