the emotional cycle of a renovation

We did it.

Everyone we know has done it.

You’ll do it too. 

Unless you’re super human and immune to regular emotions that come with all things rational thought with a side of stress, there’s a major process that we all go through. There’s a pretty good chance that it will be similar to what we’re about to talk about below.

Throw in the unknown, finances, with a few surprises here and there, alongside the usual stress of every day life and well, we can pretty much predict what’s going to happen in the realm of human emotions. We’ve all heard of {and probably experienced} “the grief cycle” – which we all know is pretty much all over the place. {Hint: no such thing as a real ‘cycle’.} We’re here to nail down a few things you’re pretty much guaranteed to feel in the process of your renovation. It’s so much fun and it can be oh so wonderful, but we can guarantee a few ‘feels’ in the process. 

So here we are, to cover a few things we’ve felt, and our sweet clients have felt in the process, too… if you’re ready to take on a renovation. In no particular order… These emotions run the gamut, and include but are not limited to: 

1. Let’s do this. YESTERDAY. Also known as the where’s the fire? Stage. 

I’m here to confess that almost all of our own personal renovations have started like this. There’s the excitement. The planning. The number crunching. The inspiration. The meetings with your designers/contractors/partner-in-crime. And you’re ready to get started. YESTERDAY. We get it. 

I was attending an influencer event, feeling overly excited/stressed/less than/allthefeels at said certain event we were attending, and I had a small moment of insecurity. {Shocker.} I was all, OH EM GEE am I under dressed? When a sweet friend took me aside and said this: “Um, this is like, ten seconds of our lives. Deep breaths. Who cares?! ” And it suddenly gave me the permission of a new perspective. The ability to step back and chill. To see the bigger picture.

Planning an this stage, is a lot like that. It can be easy once you get started, to feel like everything needs to be on a certain timeline. I’m a planner gal. I like my lists. Things need to happen yesterday. SNAP TO IT, PEOPLE! This is genetic, I swear. Unfortunately, speaking from both sides of the fence on all things experience, the project itself will actually dictate that timeline. And also, you’re probably not the only project happening at the moment with whomever you are working.

So hold on tight. It’s gonna be a ride. –yeah, I did just write that. Yes, I will chill with the caffeine. 

There are crews to schedule, permits to be filled, and permissions to wait on. {Trust us, do we know about this part – insert giant eye roll here}. We can only control so much. And you know what we’ve found more often than not {that’s kind of hard for us to admit?} It’s okay to slow it down. To be on another schedule. To take a deep breath and consider your choices before you feel overly rushed and make a bad one. So when you enter the “where’s the fire” stage, remember, it probably won’t happen on your schedule, and that’s okay.  

True life application: We sat on our basement for a year. We had to, because of permits. It gave us time to really figure out what was going on. And for the record, we’ve been sitting on our back addition for months now. But we’ve now figured out how to integrate it into our final, master addition. Three years younger Ashley will deny all she wants, but winning, and no regrets. 

Deep breaths. This is like, ten seconds of your entire life. 

2. Overwhelmed. Because I just can’t. EVEN. 

It may be that you’re overwhelmed by all the choices.

I found that our own house felt a lot like Subway. {The sandwich shop, not the transportation device.} Mated with If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

One element linked to another can be overwhelming and liberating all at the same time. But if you change the tile, you may want to take a second look at the countertops, which may affect the cabinets you chose. {Which is where actually listening to your designer – insert shameless plug here- you’ve hopefully hired if you’re pre-dispositioned to feel this way, comes in handy.}

It happens more than once. And you’ve got this. We promise. Or the budget is looking wonky. Or the plumber is a bummer or there was a misunderstanding… It’s a lot. Humans will do their human-ing. We promise you’ll feel this more than once. And that’s more than okay. 

3. Fixation. 

At some point, all these feelings, take on the form of a literal scape goat, and you fixate on one thing. We’ve seen this happen in EVERY. SINGLE. PROJECT. Yes, even yours, CASANDRA.

JK. We haven’t worked with a Casandra. 

It’s not always rational. It rarely is. But it makes a huge difference in what you pick and why. Sometimes, it’s the paint color. A lot of times, it’s lights. Tile. Insert an element that someone THINKS they absolutely must have, here. Or they’re afraid they made a mistake. Anything goes. 

True life application: We were so close to being finished with our kitchen. I’d chosen windows to go under our stained glass finds and when they arrived, I was so angry with myself. I suddenly wanted completely different windows. I wanted casement windows and obsessed over them. They were custom ordered windows, and there was no way they were going back and I was so upset with myself, I cried.

Why? I have no idea.

Oh wait. Yeah I do, stress. 

If you find yourself being a teensy bit obsessive over a certain element, realize that this is the fixation stage. And you can take a deep breath because everything is going to be amazing. 

Guess what? Three years later, and I FREAKING LOVE THOSE WINDOWS. 

4. Fear

This is a given. And we don’t realize we’re in this phase until we can’t sleep at night, and we’re worried that the light we chose just won’t work with the other light that’s all the way upstairs. And will everyone think I’m weird if I paint my doors grey? Are my countertops a trend? And will that light switch by the doorway work when I need it to? WHY DIDN’T I TELL THE ELECTRICIAN?!

All of this is normal. All of it.

There’s a lot riding on your budget and time and energy and choices. There are a lot of choices that have been made and all of those choices are your home. Yours. No one else’s. This is your baby, and no one will care about it and think on it quite as much as you will. And that’s okay. 

It’s not easy, or everyone would do it.Consult those experts you’re working with and double check any questions you may have.

Also, we’re basing a lot of our impressions off of the mass brainwashing that is American reality tv. I think it’s important to take a step back, another deep breath, and remember this. Your kitchen will cost more than 2k. That entire house will be more than 100 dollars and a flea market trip and will not happen on commercial break. Our job doesn’t have it’s glamorous moments until the job is done. That’s the fun in it. But that’s reality.

5. Patience and Trust. 

I think these are stages that we eventually fall into, whether by default or complete surrender. We struggle and fight it and then here we are. Depending on your personality type, it comes down to trust in a lot of things. And well, these are two invaluable tools to have sooner, than later. It’s a growth process, and it can be an absolutely thrilling ride, or a miserable experience.

I think a lot of it all comes down to perspective. 

6. LOVE. 

The final stage. {Especially if you choose to work with us. Second shameless plug here.} 

True life application: We fell in love with our project in various stages and in moments of surrender. In between fear and wondering if it was all going to be okay. With the neighborhood and from the moment we walked into our dilapidated old house.

In the process of struggling to figure it all out with our budget and time constraints. The smell of progress in sawdust and that finished product, and the sound of splashes in the pool with our children and their new friends. And in the first night that we spent there with mattresses on the floors and exhausted bodies and in that first cup of coffee while our children’s laughter echoed in the halls.

It was better than Christmas morning.

It’s your home and it’s love. And it’s ultimately where you’ll land, because your project will reflect you, in the end. 

We hope you’ve enjoyed a little perspective today, and we hope that we can offer a little tongue and cheek reality… You’re in good company because we’ve been there, too. 

For a little more on how not to regret your renovation…

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And just in case you’re curious…

We don’t believe in the dream home, we believe in your home. And we can’t wait to help you discover it all over again.

The Handmade Home : Love Where You Dwell. 

The Handmade Home is thrilled to bring both full on rehab and design services to our clients.

We offer in-person, full service design options, from a complete kitchen overhaul to a simple consult in your home on how to spruce it all up. If your kiddo needs a big kid room, your home could use some paint palette ideas, or even a brand new build from the ground up… we’re glad to help. Both nationally and locally in the Nashville area, we even offer a wealth of resources for our clients, right at their fingertips.

If you’d like to hear more about what we have to offer for you {because the possibilities really are endless} please be sure to check out our design services page, here! While you’re at it, be sure to check out our completed projects here.

We look forward to hearing from you, and we welcome the opportunity to work with you!

To read more about us, be sure to check out this page here, as well.

Have an inspired day!