A sweet reader named Alexandra wrote us recently, and said this:
…My home is currently decorated by pieces that my mom and I picked out when I went to college, and is in no way a representation of US now. I started a few weeks ago by cleaning out all of the stuff (ok, junk) in our house and would love to have a blank canvas so to speak to start fresh with. My question is this: in order to truly turn my home around would you recommend getting rid of all the things in my home that I don’t like anymore, or leaving everything and take one room at a time? Right now everything is down and it looks pretty bare, lol… but also kinda nice because it feels like I’ve taken a step in the right direction. Your input would be fantastic. Thanks again for sharing your amazing ideas!
Coming down from a conference high/absolute exhaustion, we have to thank you for handing us that post on a silver platter, Alexandra. ;} We received this email and decided to share it, as a great opportunity to discuss a few conundrums around the home, the process behind it all, and how to absolutely rock it.
Trust yourself.
Your home is yours. Not your neighbor’s. Not the future owners’. Not your mother’s. I say this until I’m blue in the face because it’s the most freeing thing you can ever do for yourself. You have to find what works for you, and when you get into your groove, it will become a little easier… fun, even. You know that inner voice inside that tells you what to do? Those are your instincts, and as silly as it sounds, they kick in when it comes to all things nesting as well. We don’t believe in a sure fire, one-of-a-kind recipe to guarantee a fab space, because that will be different for everyone. Just like the tweaks in good ingredients to achieve what you love in a recipe, the same is for your home. It’s all in the ‘tastebuds’.
We always stand by the mantra of, though it may be hard, rush into nothing. If we can all be a little braver, a little more sure of what we love, and embrace our tastes because they’re our loves and our passions and no one else’s, then we’ll be creating homes that we adore in no time. If you know what you love now that you’ve had a little time to be in your home, start cultivating those tastes and bringing in ideas to showcase that wonderful personality, that is yours… and only yours.
Here’s a few of our favorite things that have worked for us.
Purge.
Quieting the noise around you so you can think, is always a great place to start. All things junk, and filler and the things that are weighing you down. All things guilt, all things extra.
Just dive in with those garbage bags and scale back.
And then do it again.
When we first began our simplification journey, I was under the (seriously false) impression that we’d conquered the beast. This would be it. And then I learned the dirty {pun intended} truth. Purge, and then purge again. Extend yourself some grace because you’re living your life, but dive right back in to keep up healthy habits when you’re able to. Your home is fresh, it’s absolutely freeing, and it helps with maintaining a healthy perspective on life in general.
When someone asks me the best thing they can do for their home: purging first. And making it a regular habit for your life. It’s good for so many reasons.
Shop it.
That being said, don’t get rid of everything just yet. You will probably find yourself playing musical furniture more often than not, until you’re settled into an arrangement that you love. Find a system that works for you, but I recommend two things. First, clear out the clutter (in your purging process above) and then start to subtract things from the spaces, that no longer work as far as decor items go. It can definitely help with your vision and creative process to get rid of the “eye sores”. But if you can, if there’s a piece you think you may repurpose, put it in a ‘maybe’ pile for a while. Just for a temporary amount of time.
For instance, we would clear out the things we don’t like, and hide them away in a {soon to be donated} pile for the garage. Put a time limit on it to hold yourself accountable (try a few months) while you process your home. Why? Just because that desk doesn’t work in your bedroom anymore, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t rock the entry way, painted with some fresh hardware and paired with a spectacular gold mirror. You may kick yourself later {and your budget} if you hastily trash the things that could be a great help. We find that pieces you already own can sometimes be given a new life if you mix up the location, or simple cosmetic appearance.
There’s nothing more affordable than the things you already have.
That being said, we like to invest in the staple pieces, and build slowly but surely from there. Donate the other items in the {time-monitored} pile as you truly eliminate them throughout the entire home. Let it be a part of an organic process, with no real trash-it-now regrets.
Go with what inspires you.
So, where to start? Don’t go with x because you feel obligated or you think you need to. {And by need, we mean it’s your sister-in-law’s recommendation but you feel absolutely no inspiration whatsoever by going in that direction} Don’t rush into anything that you’re not sure about. Give yourself time, and enjoy the process.
Instead? Go with what your gut {see instincts, above} is telling you. We started by painting our cabinets. I wanted a farmhouse kitchen, and I was tired of pining away for the next house, when there may very well never be the ‘next’ house. Did we need new cabinets? Nope. Was it easy and fun? Nope. But I was tired of starting at the dull, brown, laminate boring-ness while being dominated by fear… and so we painted it. I was inspired by change. We were fueled by our love of the results and it pushed us to make more changes. We repurposed things in our home that would give new life to old places that we were tired of.
My point? It’s a process. You will even have failures.
Embrace it, and love it and you’ll learn more from that (even your mistakes) than you ever thought possible.
Keep it fresh.
When I went back to get my master’s in art education, I decided to stop after our surprise pregnancy. But I was able to squeeze in my passion in the form of a few amazing oil painting classes. I had one of my favorite professors during that time. I would be painting in the studio {oh, to have the time again} and I’m such a perfectionist, I would become completely wrapped up in all the little things. I couldn’t get {insert item here} just right. From the shading to the shape, muddled paint or something else, it was a problem that needed to be solved. And he (said professor) would walk by, and stop me. “Focus on the big picture,” he would say, literally making me step back and appreciate it all. ” Move on and work on something else. Keep moving in your process. Stay fresh, and don’t get bogged down. Those little problems will resolve themselves”.
When I took the time to step back and move on to something else, I found that he was right. The solution came naturally, and over time. Sometimes in great epiphanies and other times in subtle solutions – both rocked my world. Creating art, creating a home, creating anything… it’s a process. And with that process is a problem to be solved. It’s in the throes of searching for solutions, that we learn the most.
Metaphors aside, creating a home is just like that. The best spaces are created over time. Whether you take one space on at a time (if it’s how you work best) or you jump from element to element… room to room, I think it’s unrealistic to say something is ‘done’. Your life, your needs and your loves are always changing. Ever growing and ever evolving. Start where you feel inspired. Then come back to that. Tweak it. Change it. Switch it out.
Love it.
You’ll never regret sticking with those instincts and doing what you love in the process. Over time, you’ll find that your home speaks for itself. It’s a reflection of you.
Great post! I’m tired of our kitchen cabinets too, but cannot bring myself to pick up the paintbrush. That’s a good point about being tired of waiting for the next house though!
EXCELLENT. Thank you so much for this post!
I love the notebook paper rug…where can I find it?
Hey Samantha! It’s from the Land of Nod. I hope that helps! ;}
I adore this. You are so inspiring. Thank you.
Great post! I agree 100% about holding onto stuff that might work later with a little tweaking. We have two mismatched tables that ended up being our nightstands because I’m essentially a furniture hoarder. Ha.
I love this post! I read your blog a lot and my husband and I are getting ready to move into our newly purchased first house. Currently, almost all of our furniture is hand-me-down and I don’t like it! Thanks for the inspiration on where to start and repurposing things we already have. I love your philosophy on design and I will be consulting your blog a lot when we decorate our new house!
I love this post (and I love you!!!), but posts like this kinda make me want to cry. I am so NOT creative when it comes to decorating the house. Plus hubby and I are the opposite of handy, which make “projects” expensive.
Decorating is such a challenge for me. We need to paint (and have the floors refinished and replace the carpet in our bedroom. ugh.) and I don’t even know where to start. I try to go with what I love and end up hating it. I look at beautiful rooms and blogs online and my stomach ties in knots. It all seems so out of reach to me. When I start looking online for fabric or rugs or whatever, I rarely find anything that I really love and want to use, and when I do I don’t know how to use it in my house.
I don’t want to be a bummer but this is something I’ve struggled with for at least 15 years, probably closer to 20. So when I read about trusting my instincts and what I love, it makes me want to cry, and sometimes I do. There have to be others out there who have dealt with this…I just haven’t found them. LOL
Wendy – We’re always sorry to hear if someone thinks our posts aren’t helpful or encouraging… the last thing we would ever want to do is upset anyone. We only hope to inspire and help in any way possible.
I don’t know you personally, but I do know that not everyone is good at the same things, and that our talents all come from different areas of expertise. That’s the beauty of everyone around me and I marvel at their glorious, God-given talents. I would never naively think that anyone can just throw a room together. There are trials and errors and learning from our mistakes – I’ve had my fair share! ;} These were just a few small steps to get started, and I was hoping to help with a jump start of sorts for anyone who is hesitant, or discouraged or confused.
I was kind of wondering – in the gentlest of ways possible, if you are maybe being too down on yourself? I don’t mean to sound flippant or even presume to know your situation… I just hate to hear that something is so upsetting. I tend to be too hard on myself… I’m my own worst enemy, really. At the end of the day, it’s only a house and it’s only things. The most important thing is who lives in it and the memories made there. If there’s anything we ever want you to carry away from this site, it’s that life is more beautiful with the imperfections. We definitely have our fair share.
And we have had our failures! Oh my if I could show you the barn door we tried to build last week that ended up in splinters! HA! I found Jamin karate chopping it in the front yard, after he’d spent about four hours sanding it. Tragedy. Our neighbors think we’re crazy. I know that it’s easier for us, because we do it full time. I know that other people live in the real world and it’s hard to be weekend warriors when you’re exhausted. And I DO know, as the nesting type, how frustrating it can feel to want to express yourself in that home. I was there once.
On that note, have you ever thought about maybe getting someone to help you? If your home is important to you, it may be good to enlist your friends for a trade off on projects on something you’re good at for something they’re good at… or save a little money to get a designer or even e-services online (a usually more affordable option) for help. Sometimes fresh eyes can definitely assist in something like this. I don’t know your situation and I don’t know you personally, I just want you to know that I have had my fair share of failures and that I wish nothing but the very best for anyone who reads. ;} HUGS to you, and I hope that our posts can be more helpful to you in the future. ;}
I sooooo did not want you to feel bad about the post or what you shared. It was a great post and I love what y’all do!!! Y’all ARE an inspiration to me. I wouldn’t read your blog if I didn’t love it. Really! My feelings probably oozed out more than usual–dealing with some long-term pain, and was rather feely last night anyway–so, sorry. 🙁
I am creative, but not artistically so. Make sense?? My creativity doesn’t have anything to do with home decor, which is frustrating to me. LOL I can crochet (but I feel like that’s copying what someone else created) and I’m good at organizing (other people’s stuff). I just get paralyzed trying to decorate my own home. And I hate spending money on it in case my tastes change (as they have in the past). Also the “bones” of our house don’t really go with what is my style now. When we built I wanted big and grand, now I’d love to have a cottage, but moving isn’t an option….and “making it work” and lack of creativity in this area don’t mesh well. I am not a “oooooh you could do so much in here” type of gal. I see trash not treasure. I’m kind of your opposite. 😉 The rooms in our house that are somewhat decorated don’t feel like us any more and the rest feel like a hodgepodge of stuff. There’s dumb stuff like a large two-story family room….I want it to feel cozier and it needs a rug but a) rugs the right size are $$$; b) I don’t know how to layer rugs; and c) the dogs will destroy whatever I put down. Stuff like that, and my problem solving ability in this area isn’t good.
I used a designer at our old house and I was happy with the outcome. But we moved. (I brought all the fabric with me. Ha!) I’d love to find a lower cost option. Yeah, maybe an online service (suggestions???).
Again, I really do not want you to feel bad. I was just sharing….maybe a little too much. My sincerest apologies for seeming critical of what you do here. I think y’all are amazing!!!
Wendy– I hear a lot of my own frustrations in your comments. I find that I am often just overwhelmed with the desire to change everything. Take a deep breath and try to pick the one room that is most frustrating– or even just one wall to paint– and just do something!! Last summer I just bought a quart of bright purple paint and did my front door. It’s not the exact shade I want long term, but it’s mine. I have the added issue that we are renters– but I take the attitude that paint can be easily changed… so just do it!!!
Good luck with your first project!!!!
Thanks, Peggy. I’ve been looking at online decorating services. I think I may go that route to help me on my way. Right now if I just go for it (which you’re right, I should do) I’m afraid the house will continue to look lie a hodgepodge of stuff with no connection. The house is now 11 years old and is needing a good hug here and there, but I want it to look good too.
I love the first couch you show in this article can you give me the details about it ? Really enjoyed your article.
Hey Maria! Thanks so much! You can read all about the details in this space, here!