Hello lovely friends! We’re back today with an installment in this series, and a sweet reader Hilarie who wrote:
“…I was wondering if you could share a few housekeeping tips that you’ve found to work for you guys in your home. I am at a loss, trying to fall into a groove with the whole mom routine thing and three young children. I feel like I am always behind and I could use a system. I love your realistic approach to your home and you probably have some good ideas. The toys and the laundry are everywhere. I am told that one day I will miss this, and I know I will. But falling behind all the time is driving me crazy. I am hoping for a few good ideas until I get there. Help please?”
First of all, we’ve all been there. In fact, I’m still there. Spring cleaning is so far down my list, it’s practically comical: The layers of dust on our ceiling fan is kind of arbitrary because we’re pulling it down soon. I’m pretty much in the whatevs phase with cleaning right now, but yesterday I went on a frenzy and felt so much better in the midst of all this chaos. Today I thought I would share a few things I’ve found to be tried and true, that help me along the way in the every day.
I know that every situation + family is different. So use whatever you can and leave the rest in the dust! No pun intended.
Without further ado: a few simple tricks that are helping every day.
1. Teach them to pitch in. From the get go, our kids have been responsible for cleaning up. That’s not always easy, because I’ll be the first to admit, they don’t always do it to my ‘standards’. Sometimes it can feel like pulling teeth. I love a place for everything and everything in it’s place. But it’s good to let them take responsibility for their own messes, and over time they do get better. I promise. I’m personally trying to give them their space a little more and help them learn on their own. I’m working on the whole mellow-out thing… and reminding myself that these are life-long habits that may seem arbitrary now, but will help them out later on. I’ve found that cleaning up every day right before bedtime, helps me breathe a little easier through our bedtime routine (and the massive influx that is our Legos invasion). Waking up to a neat home, always helps.
Right now, we’re also working on making our beds. I definitely make ours, and the kiddos are learning. And by “making their beds” it really just means pulling the covers up, and arranging their stuffed animals in neater ways. I’m a neat freak, and it’s taken time for me to relax a little more over it all. I find that making my own bed helps me feel a little more ‘with it’ and letting them be proud of their own work can go a long way. It’s a process, and I’ve found that embracing what it is, can be a total game changer. But let’s be honest, because our bedroom looks a little more like this right now:
And aintnobodygottime forclimbingontopofabunkbed. Yep… our home is pretty chaotic at the moment. But I’m reminding myself it’s just where we are right now. And that’s more than okay.
2. Keep it contained. Over the past few years, we’ve really spent time concentrated on making our home work for us. It’s better than the alternative in previous years, {which was us, working for our home.} I’ve found that one of the ways to do that is to literally have a place for everything.
Places for books, magazines… a little bit of everything. It doesn’t have to be sparkling clean or perfectly arranged to make me feel a little better. The homeschool stash can get out of hand fast if there’s no system in place. So just containing it all, helps.
We’ve cut back significantly, but it’s made us feel better to have created space for their toys. This way they can actually see what they own. It’s nice to know where things are.
Does it look like this all the time? Clearly, not. Again, we’re learning. And sometimes {see just yesterday} we have sessions where we conquer and divide again by straightening up a few cluttered areas. This is their dumping grounds, because it’s easier to deposit things in their little toy box when I declare it’s clean up time. But we’re working on it… one day at a time.
3. Go organic. This is a recent development for us, but I am so in love with the scents in our new little cleaning supplies, that it motivates me to actually enjoy cleaning up the house. We’re slowly weeding out all the chemicals, and I’m weaning myself off those clorox wipes but (now that my eyeballs won’t fall out because they were burned to death with bleach fumes) I enjoy the process a little more. It’s like aromatherapy and a clean home all in one. Winning. {Actually, winning would be a full fledged, laundry included cleaning service, but I’ll roll with it} Seriously, try it. Find some scents + recipes you’ll love. It can mean a world of difference, because sometimes it’s the little things.
4. Consider a family closet. In making more room with practical closet storage in our children’s spaces, it really freed up more space in general. Our floor plan just made sense to try this, so it’s not for everyone. But a major game changer in the laundry department has been a family closet.
Half the battle is folding… and the rest is putting it all away. I hate putting it away. But when I can walk into a closet with a laundry hamper of folded clothes and it’s done in one concentrated, fail swoop rather than doing the whole 5 locations thing… it’s kind of a big deal.
We consolidated everyone’s clothes to one area. And it may seem kinda weird or even silly to some, but it kind of rocks my face off. Getting ready isn’t even an ordeal, and it’s working right now, with their ages. So if you can, and it works with your home, try it. You may just find it to be a total game changer. It may make cleaning up all those toys a little easier, too.
5. Purge. Regularly. We don’t even own half the stuff in that clutter photo above. But the dirty truth about purging is that you have to do it again. With younger children I think this just happens a little more often. From clothes {and frequent switch outs} to junk they bring home from school… it’s just a part of the process. I went through with bags yesterday and felt like I’d lost five pounds when I was finished. Once you’ve done your house-wide purge (and for more on that process, be sure to check out the entire series) it’s good to keep a bag handy and do it again. And again. Whenever you can. This is something I’m working on (and I’m not very good at when I’m in the middle of something big like an entire right-side-of-my-house-redo) but do what you can, as you can. Even if it’s only a drawer at a time, it will make you feel so much better. Whip it. Whip it real good. Yes, that last part was totally necessary.
I’m working on my own approach to it all, as well… while I try to teach them, oh so patiently {and sometimes not so patiently} on respecting their things and taking care of the home… I feel like it’s also important for them have their space and fun. The other night I was tucking them in, and the home was a mess. An absolute mess. They’d had a blast playing that day, and I hadn’t really enforced the clean up rule. I looked around a bit tired, beginning to feel overwhelmed, and then I decided to look at it with fresh eyes. Our children are happy, sweet kids who love to play in their spaces, and they’d clearly had a joy-filled fun day full of great creative imaginary play. Isn’t that why I love creating spaces for them, in the first place? And for that, I was thankful. I’m striving to be someone who takes it in for what it is, letting go a little at a time when I can.
One day, I know I will miss this so I’m not wishing the season away. Just trying to maintain a little order in the meantime. I know I will long for barbies and legos under foot again, and I try to remind myself of that in the hard moments. It honestly helps. Because this season truly is fading much too quickly.
I hope these little tips help! We have all been there, no matter what phase of life we find ourselves in. Our homes are real places where we live and breathe and I know sometimes it can be so overwhelming, when surrounded by a sea of what seems like perfection on the world wide web. It helps to be real and I am with you! So hang in there. It’s something I’m personally working on. And I hope that these are little tricks that help us for that in-the-meantime phase of life. What are some of your favorite tips for managing the messes and the little mess-makers in your own home? We’d love to hear!
Alexis says
Thank you so much for this. Stellar tips as usual. This is why I love your site!
Jeanne says
Reading this is the affirmation I needed today. I am NOT alone. I am a closet (or not so closeted) perfectionist, living in a small home with 3 kids under 7. We have Barbies and princesses and paper and play-dough everywhere. My husband and I both work outside the home. When we are home, he does the cooking and some of the cleaning, I do the rest of the cleaning and dealing with the kids. Is it always equal, no. Is it frustrating, sometimes. BUT, I am grateful to have a husband who cooks, and enjoys it. When the house is quiet, I sit on the couch in the living room, where 6 feet away my 10 month old is sleeping in her room and 10 feet away my 3 and 6 year olds are sleeping in their beds, and I look around in the space that’s lit by the light of the TV and sometimes I despair. I think about all the “little” and not so little projects I want to accomplish. Weekends are far too short and there are far too many little bodies underfoot to get done what I WANT to get done. But on a warm sunny afternoon I would rather be pushing my baby in her swing and listening to my older littles laugh belly-laughs while they chase each other around the yard. The laundry can wait, the door will eventually get painted, the trim will eventually get nailed to the wall, the kitchen will eventually have cabinet doors again… You are right, it’s hard for us perfectionists to live in the clutter and the moment, but when we consciously stop and breathe and open our eyes, that’s when the magic happens. Ashley, thank you for sharing your little slice of chaotic heaven here on the internet.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Jeanne! Thank you so much – Your comment made me tear up. SO there with you! It’s taking us MONTHS just to finish the bathroom/bedroom and living room flooring! You’re not alone. And it’s so important to remember what really matters through all of this. So thank YOU.
Tiffany says
Do you have a tutorial for the large wood stenciled…board in your master bedroom pic? I tried to search your site for it, but I had no idea what to call it (could you tell?), so I searched for wood (which brought up a ton of other great projects but not that). Thanks!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Tiffany! Thank you so much! Yes, we are in the process of reformatting all of that, because sometimes WE can’t find things on there, and it’s silly. ;} I found the post here. { https://www.thehandmadehome.net/2012/02/stenciled-art-rustic-modern/ } We have loved it! I hope this helps!
Erin @ House Envy says
You had me at “keep your sanity”! Great tips!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Erin!
Jenna says
This is so perfect! I needed this today, too. Thank you.
keitha (The Bajan Texan) says
Gosh I just love your blog! great tips!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much, Keitha!
Tania // Run to Radiance says
I’m so scared…we don’t have any kids and I still have a hard time keeping up with laundry and dishes. I have been in a purging mood lately—it feels so good just to get rid of stuff. Slowly but surely, I’m whittling down.
ashley @ the handmade home says
You go girl! And you will totally be fine when/if you decide to expand that fam. I hope I didn’t scare you. ;} I had a hard time keeping up with it, as well! You’re not alone! ;}
Jamie says
Love your website! I just rediscovered and am trying to read everything! :0) I wanted to share a tip that I read about 2 years ago. I have 4 children (12, 10, 8 and 3) and I am a teacher so when we are in school, things get crazy around here really quickly! :0) The tip I wanted to share is called “pick 10”. I use it usually at the end of the day, right before dinner, or anytime the clutter starts to get to me. All I do is instruct my kiddos to choose a room and “pick 10” which means to pick up 10 misplaced things and put them back in their correct place. If you do the math that’s 10 things x 4 kiddos, so 40 things put back in their place really makes a difference! :0) I hope someone gets as much use out of this ideas as I have! :0)
ashley @ the handmade home says
That’s great, Jamie! ;} Thanks for that! Good idea!