diving in: when + what to splurge on in your home

A sweet reader, Brittany shot us this little note the other day. It said:

“…We are newlyweds, and we’re getting ready to dive in and decorate our first home. We are so exited. I’d really love to hear your thoughts on investments in the home. I keep reading things that tell me which items to purchase, and they’re all different. I even read one the other day telling me the reasons not to DIY. It’s honestly exasperating because I feel like we’re expected to have a beautiful home and eat ramen noodles all so we can afford the hippest 8,000 dollar sofa. We’re in a starter job/income situation. Which items do you consider worth ‘the splurge’ when it comes to spending your funds on decorating? I would love some advice on this, because we just don’t know where to start.”

First things first… I really love this question because A. It’s honest and B. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all kinda answer. This is more of a multifaceted one, because everyone’s situation is going to be so different. So my answers today may not be what you’d expect to hear from a lifestyle/decor site. That being said, I remember what it felt like to purchase a new home. I remember the excitement and the thrill and the nerves. So after reading this awesome question, we decided to answer it as if we were writing to ourselves. If we could write a few key tips to ourselves (nearly) twelve years ago, here’s a few things we’d tell a much perkier, excited, eager Jamin and Ashley… before diving in.

1. Where’s the fire?

When we were young and purchasing our first home, we made a lot of “first timer” mistakes. We rationalized purchases from big box stores with the big box look before we really knew what our taste was, because we thought that was what we were “supposed” to do. We put it on credit, saying we’d pay it off, rationalizing that we needed it and we could entertain with it. It was the “American Dream,” right? It’s what real live grown ups did. We had our jobs, our house and our dog and now we needed it furnished with pretty things. It was the next step, after all. And it needed to happen yesterday. For some reason, I was fixated on the fact that we didn’t have a dining room table. I found myself gazing at more ‘established’ couples’ belongings, feeling a mixture of intimidation and wishing it was us. Drooling over all the catalogs that came our way with beautiful, perfect interiors. I was caught up in the comparison game, and didn’t even realize it.

By the time we realized what we really wanted and what our tastes were, we started trying to replace things, because we had no idea what we really liked. We’re both homebody nesters at heart, so it was hard to be patient. I was plagued with buyer’s remorse in the form of two monstrous bachelor’s pad leather sofas, a matching dining room suite, too many frames and side tables from Bombay, and a big heaping side order of decor-paralyzing guilt. It was like I woke up one morning and realized how stupid I’d been. I’d realized things could be beautifully affordable if I wanted them to be, and that I wasn’t at the mercy of all things cookie cutter corporate America, catalog world.

We ended up spending more on replacements in the long run, and that hurts. You live… you learn. But if I could take it back… what was I in such a hurry to do?

2. Cash is king. 

I’m sharing all this from the angle of what I’ve learned as a person. Speaking from experience… I’ve felt the pressure before. I gave into it. And I regretted it. You’re probably already a lot wiser than me, but if you haven’t already, make this a number one rule in your life right now, and you will love yourself later: Don’t buy it until you have the funds. Just don’t. Save the cash in an envelope or a savings account at the bank for such things, and wait.

In the meantime, you may change your mind. You may decide you want another piece instead because you had time to think about it. You may decide that when you save the money, you’d rather keep it. Maybe you didn’t need to rush into buying a table just for that party you wanted to have. There’s simply nothing wrong with blank walls or an empty room or two.

When it comes down to it, you have the rest of your life to furnish your house. Simply take it all in, and live in it for a while… you won’t regret the cash only rule. Not once. I have to say, when you move in, even if you have the funds still… wait for a while. Think on it. For the sheer sanity of you, your finances, and the rule that I love: beautiful spaces are collected over time… not thrown together over night. It helps to remember that, for the in-the-meantime phase.

For what it’s worth: I think even those more “established” couples, if they’re being really honest… would agree. What you see isn’t always what you get in the image department… so don’t buy into it. Literally. Run away from the Jonses. You’re not missing anything.

3. It all costs something. 

Furnishing your home: it’s a time vs. money cost factor. Everything comes with a cost. It just depends on your end goal, and what you want to accomplish with your home. Some people have the money, and when they do, would rather spend it and call it a day. I totally get that. Everyone is different. We make the time, when it comes to all things home, and enjoy the process. {Most of the time. See: bathroom redo now = Jury’s still out} In short, it all costs something. You just have to decide what you want that cost to be.

Handmade doesn’t always mean that it costs less, and store bought doesn’t always cost more. So reevaluate it with every situation based on what you want to do. Decide on your price point, and go for it from there. But handmade or altered (executed well) does guarantee one outcome that store bought can not: one of a kind genuine results in a home that will truly reflect you. So think it through before deciding your route… because the most interesting spaces have a little bit of both.

4. To thine own self be true. 

Know your passion, tastes and interests. Take time individually, and as a couple, to work out your vision for your home. Once you’ve saved your funds and you’re ready to make a few investments on key pieces, glean inspiration from all around you. Color and design love can strike you at any moment, and from magazines to blogs and Pinterest… take your time and enjoy the process. You’ll only learn more about yourself while you make like a sponge and soak it all in.

That being said, stick with your gut. If that glass cabinet at the flea market makes your heart flutter, and you know it’s a wise investment piece and worth the cost then by all means, scoop up that one of a kind piece. If you feel a little funny about that table, but it’s only for a one-day sale and the deal is amazing, and you find yourself rationalizing why it would work, step away. You’ll be selling it again in five years.

Stick with your gut. You can’t go wrong.

5. What to invest in?

We believe in selecting solid, classic, foundational pieces that you can build upon. Plain and simple. Every space and every home and every situation is different. I was looking through our home and though we made mistakes in the past, I can honestly say we’ve learned from them. So whether it’s a handmade investment or something straight from the store, make sure that you’re spending smartly with longevity in mind on those big ticket pieces.

We have a few guidelines we follow, and while this will be different for everyone, it’s  helped us in deciding what’s worth the investment.

We only purchase it if: 

A. We have the funds and we have planned for it.

Bigger purchases are easier to swallow in the wallet department if you’re prepped and planned ahead. You’re less likely to suffer buyers’ remorse if you do your homework on price points, style, availability and everything else.

Money has a direct relationship with the fear factor. If you spend less on temporary pieces, it won’t be a biggie to paint, alter, and mix it up later as your taste or needs change. If you’re ready to spend a good amount on something and it’s in your range but you need to save a while make sure it’s…

B. It’s a timeless, classic piece

See: bereaved planking

Based on our history with them, sofas are always one of the wisest places to invest your money. A great, safe place to start. Just make sure you love the style, before doing so. It’s probably the best thing you can invest in, first.

I always wanted a chesterfield sofa. I was in love, and they made me drool. It’s a classic piece. I decided to save money, and go for a craigslist find that was slipcovered instead. We all know how that ended. I should have waited for said true love.

When it comes to sofas: Don’t fall for the go-cheap route. Just don’t. It’s one thing if someone gives you a sofa. Then by all means, take it. Use it until you can afford what you truly want. We’re not saying you should blow 8,000 but hey… maybe it’s a glorious sofa made from gold thread that massages your back when you sit down, and you really love ramen noodles. Study up on shapes, styles and ideas that you love. If we could save ourselves a lot of bereaved planking, it would be to just bite the bullet, save and get that sofa. We honestly don’t believe in spending a ton on furniture. But if you do one thing right… do the sofa.

You can easily build the rest of your space around doable pieces when it comes to spaces like your living room once you’ve decided on your good, timeless, staple pieces.

see: more bereaved planking

see: sofa karma + more sofa karma

C. It’s a wise investment and we have a need for it

This cuts down on impulse buys and needless clutter. Don’t scoop it up just because it’s a good deal. It helps to make sure you have a place for it. You’re allowed a fun purchase every now and then, but I find that staying away from flea markets until there’s a need, helps with this entire conundrum.

If its pricey, do some investigating, and find out if you can find a better piece somewhere for cheaper. Can you make it? If you can easily make your own for much cheaper, and it’s totally in your ability… you’ll love it even more.

D. We absolutely love it. 

And if we do, it’s usually when points A-C come together like a magical unicorn with glittering lights and angel cherub babies shooting people with happy drugs. It’s like shopping karma, and it doesn’t happen that often. If you love it, it’s always worth it.

On trends: We hate the word, because trends are only relevant if you care about what everyone else is doing. There’s nothing new under the sun, and the Taj Mahal had chevron. Take it or leave it, but know thyself and if you’ll tire of a pattern in a year, then don’t cover an entire sofa in it. Use pillows for touches, and keep it super cheap, so it’s no big deal to switch it out, later. Bring in the up-to-date pieces in the smaller elements. That keeps your decorating doable, and your vacation fund happy.

Because of these little guidelines we have for ourselves, you’ll see our home is filled with a few staple pieces like our favorite sofa, a nicer table and smaller pieces like rugs that we love… but the majority of everything else came together with funding for handmade items and flea market finds. And we love it all the more for a one of a kind, fun vibe.

We hope this helps, Brittany! If we could travel back in time to twelve years ago, these are some of the things we would tell our new homeowner, itching-to-decorate selves. It’s an awesome fun process-we can’t wait to see what you do with your beautiful home!

What are some of your best tips for new home owners and wise purchases to make? What would you tell yourself if you could travel back in time and slap yourself for making silly ‘mistakes’? We’d love to hear!