Growing up in Alabama, we were always in a milk-and-bread-run-to-the-grocery-store situation, at the slightest threat of snow.
I use the word threat, because a single snowflake erupted into the apocalypse and we were all. going. to. die.
I’m not sure what the milk and bread situation is supposed to help. {Personally, if it’s going to snow, I want steak. And cookies. And all the other good stuff.}
Would school be canceled? Would we be able to play in it? Would we bundle up in a ritualistic process likened to that kid from A Christmas Story only to stay out for a whopping ten minutes when we realize snow is, in fact, cold and wet and we can’t feel our toes?
::Tromps back inside. Defeatedly exasperated::
The anxiety still exists in the south today, and it. is. real.
We embrace our ridiculosity.
Then there’s the whole weather rivalry thing on social media. That is also real.
I shared ice in our pool because we’ve never had a pool, and we were amused and it was cold, and there was the response of “That’s not ICE. THIS IS ICE”.
RAWR.
Hide yo kids hide yo wife because erreeeebody colder than us up in here. It escalated pretty quickly when some person who lives in Alaska showed me ice the size of their car that blocked their door so they literally froze for a month inside with rabies and tetanus whilst surviving on one can of ramen noodles split between twelve small children. No, seriously. I was tagged in photos for weeks, where people wanted me to see their ice. I need to roll over on my belly like a defeated dog and admit that I am a wimp. Which is what I was already admitting…
You all win. I promise.
There’s a high probability they wouldn’t survive our summers, so… there’s also that.
Lay off me, I’m trying.
But upheaving our family and moving 4.5 hours to Nashville from the tropics of Alabama has been a slight change in climate for us. I’m a cold natured person, with warm weather love in my blood. So Jamin and I have joked that I will retreat to our bed all winter, never to return… like some ill-fated form of barbaric hibernation.
Sounds good to me. I’m owning it.
But I still light up like a little kid when there’s a chance of snow. Because it’s a romantic, far-fetched novelty for us.
So when there was a hint of snow on the horizon, we shrugged it off.
I always got my hopes up as a child and it probably snowed a handful of five times my entire life. Why would I change my habits?
Imagine my surprise when I awoke to a text from a friend wishing us a happy snow day.
And I glanced out the window. The entire yard was covered in a winter wonderland.
A totally rational person would have headed back to bed, embracing the chance to hibernate with three sleeping children and two rabid dogs in a quiet, cozy house.
But instead, I totally went with option B: bat crap cray. And woke up the entire fam.
YOLO, y’all.
“Jamin! Jamin!” I hissed in a not-so-small attempt to quiet my voice
Jamin: Moaning and rolling over
“It SNOOOOOOWWWWWEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD!”
My voice had now reached an all time fever pitch, and I self-admittedly became the stereotypical, overly-excited southerner. I leapt like an awkward ballerina right into the kiddos room. Yes, at this point, I’d totally gone obnoxious dork on everyone and I flung back the curtains to proclaim that everyone should look out the window.
It was worth it to see the looks on their faces.
Never mind that they all went back to sleep and I was left standing there, still excited.
Even the dogs.
It was an hour later when it was coming down hard, that we realized we had absolutely no groceries.
We’d been working hard to finish up a project, and hadn’t counted on, well, being snowed in. On the news, they were telling people to get it over with in the driving arena, and get home. We went over everything existing in our shrinking pantry, and I tried to be optimistic.
“Jamin, we can get creative! We can eat hotdogs and we have some old noodles and these stale marshmallows!”
We were willing to make it work.
The roads looked a little sketch.
Remember, we’re not natives, after all.
Read: We would all die in the zombie apocalypse.
Then Jamin declared he was going to the store before it got worse. I mean, if we were going to be stuck, the least we could do is stock up. We didn’t have milk or bread. The horror.
This escapade lasted all of about five minutes when he realized he couldn’t get out of our driveway. And by couldn’t get out, I mean he spun out on some ice for a second. Never mind that we have a giant truck with 4WD. We also have an aggregate driveway which is kind of an intimidating combo with ice. He retreated inside, and admitted defeat. We stood there listening to sirens at the front door for a minute.
The apocalypse had begun.
“We’ll make it,” I whispered meekly, with a big sad gulp. I was ready to make a feast on the last remaining apple.
We’re tough.
It was in that moment whilst staring defeated at our pantry that we looked outside and witnessed traffic continuing as usual. A parade of snow day celebration with a few tiny old clunker cars speeding freely down the street. Then a couple of mini vans and even a golf cart thrown in the mix. I’m pretty sure a clown car drove by at one point, packed full of people in full on milk-and-bread celebration. Mocking us in triumph.
Apparently they still drive a little in Franklin when it snows, and the store wasn’t far.
It was then that we both looked at each other and I proclaimed with every ounce of hopeful encouragement that I had, “You can do this.” As only a loving wife can inspire her husband. I saw the light of bravery ignite in his eyes. He was ready.
JK. I laughed and called him a “wus” while I sat there in blankets with my coffee next to the fire. And then decided to give him the go-get-em tiger speech.
Shhhh. No judging. Desperate times.
And he happily returned with things that mattered. Like steaks. And wine. Because again, we’re southern and for a second, that was scary.
We even took a snow day selfie because if we didn’t, did it happen?
First snows in new homes must be documented properly with gluttony and ten seconds of fun after bundling up for three hours, after all. Until then, you’re not really living.
Next up, the polar bear plunge.
JK. Messy hair and rosy cheeks with hot chocolate obtained by their father {our hero} at the grocery store is more how we roll.
Yes, we are ridiculous and totally owning it.
We loved every moment.
Happy Snow Day!
Beth Miller says
Those “ice” people definitely couldn’t handle our summers! I hate snow, but it is pretty to look at! Luckily, Franklin drivers seem to have a lot more wits about them when driving in the snow! Nashville drivers…smh.
Anna says
Oh my gosh this is hysterical. I’m living up north right now but originally from the south and I can completely relate on a more extreme level. Thank you for the laughs today
Rhonda says
I totally relate to everything you said! And I’ve lived everywhere from Washington State to Colorado to Florida to Illinois…and I totally get all the snow day excitement and grocery concern. Still! Hot cocoa with some coffee stirred in it– while you watch all the snowflakes come down — always a favorite! What fun!
Dharma says
OMGosh! Just go down South and say you’re from Canada….now that’s a good time. “Y’all get any summer up there?” lol “Nope, just igloos year-round and dog sledding the kids to school.” It’s so funny how your post got everyone going into thier very own….WE HAVE IT THE WORST modes. Enjoy your snow day! Enjoy your treasured “hunting and gathering in a snowpocolypse” wine via Jammin.
Linda J says
I loved this post!!!! I wish I still had a snow day. Impossible in Florida. Live in the moment girl!
Ashley says
I love this! You guys are so funny!
Love a faithful follower from Alabama whose kids are so disappointed in what we got. On the bright side it will be 70 degrees and sunny down here by the end of the week!
Amy says
Girl, enjoy it! I love that you took full advantage of your snow day! I’ve lived my whole life with 4 full seasons and its always hard to take the 116 degrees with 90% humidity, just as hard as as the -10 below with -23 windchill. Yes we get 10″ of snow on a saturday sometimes, but heck, if it gives you a reason to relish in it, go for it! Its all relative. Those negative nay-sayers are just cranky they never moved when they wanted to, away from their plight! We get updates on the south storms on our local news because they try to give perspective to us, as the snow removal, or salt trucks, or even sidewalks are made with different material not normally ready to handle the craziness. Heck a dusting in Vegas causes major issues, so take heart. Enjoy the warm foods, and snuzzles and snow globe view. Besides, haters gonna hate, right?!
Amy says
That was supposed to say “snuggles” …autocorrect. Bah!
rose l. says
We have had 3 different storms of snow and ice so far and the stores will have crowds the day before it is about to happen. I wonder if the weathermen/women get kickbacks?
Karla Sheridan says
I absolutely am rolling as I read this! So fun! Thank you for sharing your gift of writing and storytelling with us; it’s a joy.
CeCe says
Love the way you write…seldom comment…but, oh my goodness…Graduated from MTSU when I was a Yungin….and now I am old and there is a happiness to this. I am retired and could care less if I can get out ot the driveway! However, my main residences are in AZ now………and believe it or not, in Pinetop, AZ it SnOwS…. Still have friends where you are now and even shared your home makeover with a friend in Brentwood while doing her own makeover. Franklin has more difficult restrictions……bless you children for keeping your spirits high! Enjoyed the post and wanted to let you know! Fun Read!
Karen Simon Peterson says
Thank you for a hilarious post. We moved from California to northern Washington last year and , for the first time ever, had a white Christmas this year. We acted the same way – OMG what do we do now?! Now after several more snowfalls, we’re old hands at dealing with it. We even bought snow boots!
Bonnie says
That’s such a cute story. I’m glad that Jamin was Brave and was able to make it to the grocery store so you didn’t all starve to death!! Much better to be inside nice and warm and with tummies full!
Maureen says
Sorry, think I’m late to this party. Been chopping some AK ice here. I totally get the weather rivalry thing! We live in AK and always hear, “it’s colder here”, “have more snow” blah, blah, blah!
I really just wanted to say I’m so glad you got snow because your house photographs amazingly in the snow. Looks gorgeous! Makes me want to drink hot chocolate and sing cute little winter songs.