Usually, our back yard is happy and wonderful and fun and welcoming. It’s a place where we infused a little of our inside to the outside. Where we brought a little personality and happy color for a fun, relaxing spot. We gave a little attention and TLC to the exterior and it became a new space just for us, through the years.
But it’s more than just one of those places we’ve expanded for our home. An outdoor space and retreat for the kiddos, friends and family. The place of marshmallow roastings and burgers and shrimp boils over some of our favorite conversations with our favorite people. And the place where we’ve seen an unbelievable amount of wildlife through the years, since we’re right next to an old quarry. It’s a wonderland of little surprises. Memories. Fun. It’s far from perfect… but it brings a smile to my face.
Usually.
But life, of course, isn’t always picture perfect. It takes work behind the scenes to keep a home neat. Last I checked, life was about more than that… but lately, and by lately we mean for the last ten months, it’s what our world is all about.
I’m pretty sure it doesn’t help that we’ve been in the middle of the doldrums of winter. And due to the fun game of selling our home, we’ve had quite a few showings from people, never to hear from them again. People don’t consider the behind the scenes. The rushing of the cleaning of the dishes of the laundry of the missed work of the driving around wasting time of the dog boarding. The bed fluffing, the pillow positioning, the eradication of any evidence of life or that we have ever used the toilets. Because we’ve lost our ever loving minds.
It’s rainy season. Rainy on top of the cold. So any time someone comes, they track our house up, all over again. Would it be rude to put out booties? Kidding not kidding. This is after cleaning for what feels like forever. I know. We do it to ourselves, and I keep threatening to go on strike. We’ve loosened up a little for our now good, but I just can’t fathom showing a house with tumbleweeds of dog hair and dirty underwear on the floor. Is there a happy medium? Not with five people and two dogs. Total first world probs. Again, I am a prisoner of my own making… I need to chill. But we’re ready to tell people up front that we have a website for inspiration with detailed how tos, but thanks for bringing your entire grown family and extended non-family members for an inspiration tour under the guise of a second showing. On my daughter’s birthday.
As one friend so aptly put it with all our stories ten months into this gig… the book fodder that we now have is absolutely incredible. At this point, so many nosey people have walked through our home for decor ideas, we’re feeling violated. Enough already.
But back to the back yard, and making it look nice because we’re at the point of no return for sanity: We prep it every time. We need to set out our pillows, and make sure the yard looks good. It’s winter, and every little bit of color helps. It’s this tired game we’ve been playing. And lately, it’s been the season of the birds at our house.
So with birds, come bird poop, And feathers. And more bird poop. It was like suddenly the birds appeared, to the point where I was looking for that lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. I figured she was buried under hoards of them, hiding in our yard. I couldn’t take any real photos to do said infestation justice, because they scatter every time. It’s quite comical.
And then I found the culprit… bird seeds. COVERING the ground. After a little investigating, we realized that one of our neighbors has a bird feeder. Right beside our fence. Yay. The amount of bird activity in our back yard is like Alfred Hitchcock level, Birds. If you go outside, you’ll end up all cray like that lady with the french twist in her hair who wore the green suit the entire time because she had the hots for Mitch and was a total proponent for awkward situations. You’ll be lucky to retain your dignity in the form of a lost eyeball, a broken heel, and poo in your hair. I can’t decide which is worse. And every time we go outside to retrieve our pillows after a showing, {because rainy season} they are also covered in poo. It’s like this showing your home thing is miserable enough, so let’s add an apocalyptic amount of unnecessary fowl to the entire situation. And poo. Wheeeeeeeeee!
So the bird feeder, to say the least, kind of irked me. I mean, since I’m telling you how I reheally feel, it’s annoying as I’m sure you’ve gathered. Seeds. Poo. Feathers. Everywhere. A few of them have flown into our windows. No fun when you’re trying to give free decor tours to people who pretend to be interested in purchasing your home. Yes, the snark in me at this point is beyond seething from every pour of my body.
And then something happened.
I caught the kids looking out the window more often. Watching carefully. Being still. Observing.
And I realized that if I’m really still, by my desk at the back window, there’s this bright red cardinal that comes and visits every single day.
And a little woodpecker that lives in our tree.
Yesterday, two blue birds sat on the fence. We spied them, fluffed and beautiful with their red chests and feathers. They looked like two humans in a passionate conversation with their flitting head movements and lilted song.
If you listen carefully, you can hear them talking. Twittering. Happy. Without a care in the world… all the time.
I get so caught up in the daily messes and imperfections and problems in life. Sucked in, to the daily rigamarole. Worried about all the things. I get bogged down by the poop. Distracted.
I miss out on an opportunity to truly cherish the beauty of the present. That sweet little bird, sitting on my fence… he’s a gift. My children’s eyes filled with wonder while they watch… a gift. Their song, their movement… a gift.
So I griped about house showings, and painted a not so pretty picture of my own deficiencies and OCD and cleaning like a psychopath, to tell you this: I learned a lesson that day in my moment of realization. Don’t forget about what really matters when you’re in difficult places with hardships. They’re only temporary.
It’s true what they say: This too shall pass.
The sun is out today. It shines and blinds me sideways as I try to write this, but I leave the curtains open, because I want to watch for them. That cardinal on my fence, he’s my little bright spot with his returning visits. The children watch, hoping he’ll visit again. We count the unique ones that we see. Look them up. Discuss them. Think about what they’re doing. The conversation and wonder… it’s a gift. We should try to be a little more like those birds.
Through this gloomy season, this ‘rough patch’ that we’ve been through with our family, I’m truly grateful for that little bird feeder. With the lessons and the company they bring.
Because worrying, fretting, sadness and frustration at all the what if’s in life… it’s all for the birds.
Sorry the selling your home process is taking so long and is so difficult. As an adult I suddenly remembered recently my mom having to clean our home like this when my parents were selling their house. I remember her getting my sisters off to school then having to remove all traces that a family of 5, a dog & cat lived there-every time. Now I know what this takes- wow.
Want to share too- in our area (Silicon Valley, CA) people do leave booties by the door or have a sign asking people to remove their shoes when showing houses. When we have had furniture delivered or some work on our house as a matter of course the workers either have put on booties or removed their shoes before entering. Maybe it’s a local thing since we have so many Asian people in our area that everyone has adopted this practice for strangers’ homes.
I love this. We take off our shoes when entering our home or anyone else’s. We always have. Read an article recently about all the germs people track in and I gave me the hibbies. We’re just over nosey people (people who have no intention to buy… People who aren’t even in the right price range and sending us a major lowball of an offer to the point where it’s insulting… I could go on and on) and to top it all off, they’re tracking in like this over and over again. We’ve just had a lot of curious lookers and feel very violated. ? But the point was… I’m grateful anyway – for that bird feeder ?
I love this so much, and I’m outraged for you. Though, admittedly, I’d love to stroll around your house, but not in a sneaky way. In a visit with pals and let our kids play way :). I appreciate your insight on the midst of a rough patch. I tend to be an all or nothing worrier, so I needed to hear it today!
HAHA! Our kids could totally play. And we would drink coffee and eat cookies and hang out all afternoon. ;}
I really love this post. I love that you are appreciating the birds. Sorry about all the looky-loos. We sold our house just over a year ago, in only 6 days. But prior to that we had it on the market for 6 months and it was hard keeping it clean. It is a lot of work. When the right person comes along, they’ll look past the crooked pillows and the faded paw prints. Praying that the right person is just around the corner for you:)
Awe thanks so much, Chris. Yes. Our home before this, we sold at the height of the market in about a week. We were so spoiled. We definitely appreciate when that does happen! So glad yours sold! We’re hoping we have some buyers soon. ;}
Ugh…there was nothing worse than trying to sell our house and have to pack it all in and clean at a moments notice (so you’re always on guard) it was sure a test of our marriage and sanity. So I can’t even imagine what you’re going through with non-serious lookers and low ball offers. ? Way to look at things with a positive outlook though, and hopefully the house will sell quickly and this can all be in the past….like NOW already.
Rach! I’m so glad you said marriage. We’ve definitely had to remind each other that we’re on the same team. There have been some not-so-fun moments for sure. ;} Thanks so much for your sweet words!
I read every word of your story. Then, I read it again. Then I let myself flutter through it once again. I r e a l l y needed this today. That’s all I’m gonna say. Thanks for putting things back into perspective. Now I’m going to look for a bird, or a squirrel, or…………..
Awe thanks for your sweet words, Linda! ;}
Wonderful. Beautifully written. I appreciate your struggle and am so thankful you posted these very real feelings. Your perspective is an important one for home buyers everywhere — a reminder that there is a real family that is being displaced each time there is a viewing. For me, if I’m curious about a home — but not so serious about purchasing — I keep an eye out for a scheduled open house. I figure those are fair game since all of the preparation has been done anyway. Upon arrival, I am deliberate in letting the realtor know that I am just looking so that they can direct their attention to the serious buyers.
I hope your beautiful home sells soon so that you can start the next chapter. In the meantime, hang in there and enjoy the birds (we have them too, outside our home office window… my favorite is the chickadee).
xo Bets
Thanks so much, Bets!
Backyard birdwatching is so much fun. We have discovered birds we didn’t know existed. Our backyard is more like a small forest so we don’t worry about the messy presents they leave behind. Saw two piliated woodpeckers on the suet yesterday! They split before I could snap a photo but what a great memory the sighting made.
Sorry about the “Looky-loos”. There is no reason you can’t ask them to remove their shoes before entering. Realtor’s should know better.
Yes – there’s something about getting caught up in our every day life, that we forget to notice the little things. Thanks so much, LoisAnn!
Such a nice backyard area to relax and enjoy a day! I love the “tree house.” Selling a home is stressful. At least keeping my home clean for the selling process was easy as just me in it to clean up after. Then all the packing…never want to do that again.
Us either, Rose. AMEN. I think we will rent after this while we look for the perfect spot, because we NEVER want to do it again. ;D
Ashley
I can REALLY relate to your scampering around cleaning before a showing, to someone who has NO intentions of buying. It is RUDE and INCONSIDERATE of people to say the least. We had the same problem when selling our home. My daughter just sold her home 6 months ago, and she said she lost count at 50 times showing the house! I can offer a couple of suggestions you can ignore if not helpful. (1) Have an open house. This might get a lot of the lookey-loos out of the way. (2) Before showing, ask the potential buyers what and if the bank has pre-qualified them for a loan. (3) Most importantly, make an awesome sign that says” NO SHOES PLEASE or BOOTIES PLEASE”. I also have a no shoes policy. I started after Dr. Oz had a show on germs carried in on shoes. When I have a lot of family or friends over (who specifically fuss about the effort) , I have a towel/rug that I have stenciled “Please Wipe your feet” and have sprayed with Lysol-a trick my Mom used when my Dad had chemo treatments. Hang in there, and thank you for all your creative energy and for sharing your talent with all of us!
Awe thank you for those suggestions Maureen. Very helpful!
Yes, Jamin found an article the other day about why you should always take your shoes off in your house, and shared it with my entire family because I was just raised that way and we’ve always done that. We’ve never said something to visitors or guests or anything, but we definitely do it and they usually take theirs off anyway. Well, the article was all about the germs you track in, and I was like, you send this NOW?! With all the foreign stuff we’ve had tracked through our home in the last few months, NOW?! As if I wasn’t already on edge about it all. HA!
Hey Ashley, this is the first time commenting on your blog, although I have been reading your wonderfully inspiring blog for years. I am commenting because I am always amazed at how God weaves what He is trying to teach us into our daily lives thread by thread. I am reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts and it is talking about looking for the gifts of God everywhere because He is everywhere and His gifts are endless. Your words in this post echoe exactly what Ann is trying to get us to see in her book. If you haven’t already read it, I would encourage you if you have time to look into it. It’s beautiful! You are too and I hope you sell your house soon! I know you are eager to move onto the next chapter of your lives!
Awe thank you so much for your sweet words, Annmarie. I will have to look into that book – I’ve heard of it but never read it. I keep looking around thinking… am I supposed to learn more lessons while we wait? Is this how it works? What else is left? But I will have to take a look. Thank you! Hopefully selling it is soon!