The other afternoon, we took the kids to a matinee. And while we were there, I saw something kind of disturbing- Did you know that Forest Gump is nearing it’s twentieth anniversary?
Because I didn’t. But that iconic poster in all white with younger Tom Hanks on a little bench waiting for his bus… was blown up and glorified for the entire world to note. And I was shocked. Like, complete denial, shocked.
Forest is a classic …one of those where you remember where you were and who you saw it with. Kind of like when Titanic had it’s anniversary not too long ago… but I think that was ten years? Oh my lands Ijustgoogleditnevermind. Between that, and our twelve year {marriage} anniversary, I’m just all, where did the time go? And more importantly, why am I no longer able to pull off an all nighter whilst downing various caffeinated concoctions at staggered intervals after a three hour party?
To make matters worse, I needed a little something extra for a dress I was planning to wear to a special event recently. When I was digging through the top {ever mysterious} contents of our closet, my wedding gown corset toppled over, daring me to try it on. It wasn’t really a corset, so much as a torture device made from Spanx on rhoids. Let’s play a game, it said, and I could see it practically taunting me with its creepy clown face a-la Saw. Never mind why it was still in my closet, let alone why it toppled on my head. I fell for it, and I tried. I tried with all my might.
That was not a fun game.
Clearly, I’ve been in total denial. Just like the whole Forest is turning twenty thing. We need to be asking ourselves the hard questions, like why is Tom Hanks now captain Phillips on a ship and no longer alongside Jenny who has moved on to play Kevin Spacey’s {gracefully older, totally ruthless} wife? Shouldn’t she still be The Princess Bride? And wasn’t Tom on an island with Wilson at some point? So many roles. So much confusion.
Back from that thought derailment and all things intentional self depreciation: Where does the time go? I was digging through our mac for another project, when I stumbled across these photos and I realized how in the timeline of life, we forget the things that once seemed like a big deal. Rather quickly, actually. Because in the grand scheme of things, they’re just not. A big deal.
While Forest {or the writer} was dead on with his infamous chocolates analogy, life is also, a lot like a house. {I know. Me and my extended metaphors. But stay with me.} Sometimes, to get this…
You have to go through this.
And this.
And this.
And this.
{Not actually this, but your own version of this.}
The dirty, not-so-fun, unintentional redos… can feel like one big character building hoorah. The furniture turned up on end and living through a massive jungle that is the utmost chaos with a family and regular, every day life to maintain… Sometimes you want to change things because you’re loving your home and expressing yourself. Sometimes you have flooding catastrophes and just may lose your everloving mind. Sometimes it’s fun to knock out walls because it will give your family more space and then it takes longer than you thought, but you just want to get to this:
But if we’re completely honest, it usually looks like this, anyway.
It’s real. And it takes some guts to get there.
So, just for fun, we made a list of our favorite virtues one should be well-versed in to get them through a home redo.. Basically a little encouragement if you’ve been there. Because sometimes it takes the gross/hard/fill-in-the-blank, elbow grease times… to get to where you need to be.
In making a house your home… and life.
1. Patience.
They don’t say it’s a virtue for no good reason. Lost in my use of bad grammar and double negatives? Because it is. A virtue, not grammar. It’s an incredible thing and whether you have it, or not… you’ll definitely fine tune the art of waiting since a. nothing ever happens when you want it to {unless you do nothing else other than home redos, and even then, you’re pushing it/probably need to get out more} and b. we’ve learned over time that it’s just not worth getting upset over.
Readjust your timeline. In fact, just lower your standards completely when it comes to completing anything in a timely manner, and then add another 15 (for your completion days) per each child you have, and multiply that by thirty for your real life job. Because that warrants its own sector when it comes to the subject of productivity. Our math equation is probably a little more more realistic, because we all bite off more than we can chew. Whether you hire a contractor or go it your own, products are delayed, shipping services are backed up, and processes can be slow when you’re figuring it out. It’s the nature of the business. We’re from a microwave generation, and this isn’t Trading Spaces. Welcome to real life. Hurray for something we can all practice a little more of.
2. Commitment.
Just being able to see it through, is a valiant character trait all it’s own. Sheer exhaustion is enough to cause anyone to want to call it quits. After careful planning and consideration, if you have the guts to stay with it and finish it up for a job well done, that alone is something to be commended. I guess that’s where patience comes into play, too. Because there’s something about wanting to cover up those holes in the wall before another creature reappears to replace the old one’s former living body that you found… that’s bound to see you through.
3. A sense of humor.
Because if you can’t put your own flair, or laugh at the dead bodies (mouse. It was a mouse, not full blown skeletons) coming out of walls, along with the massive mold growths due to a leaky pipe… if you can’t stop and see the humorous irony in it all, once you’ve finished pulling all of your hair out… you will lose your ever loving mind.
{reload the page if our fave tom hanks – see? there he is again! video isn’t loading}
If I can’t laugh… what can I do? A sense of humor will carry you far. In your coping mechanisms, design sense, and real life.
{Almost as far as common sense.}
4. Fortitude
Staying with what you love, and doing it because you love it, is in a sector all it’s own. We see too much self doubt these days… too much listening to the outside voices and second guessing everything. I adore the threads I come across, where people talk about design “trends” and what bugs them in glossy mags and blog life. Eventually, all of said people in said thread will be offended by the things that are being mentioned {OMGAH I totes have mid century mod furniture! Like, back off!} because there’s simply no way to avoid doing a space that’s magically approved by everyone. Someone will have a problem with your white walls/barn shelving/gold accents/fill-in-the-blank here. And they’ll let you know about it.
Sure, we’re influenced by trends, but if you love chevron and are afraid because someone said it’s overused, forgetaboutit. Chevron was in the Taj mahal, for what it’s worth, you sexy art history beasts. What goes around, always comes around. So have the commitment to follow through with what you love, because you love it. Not because your neighbor’s sister’s mom agrees. Not because of your future homeowner’s… but you. It’s your home, and you can do what you want. Bottom line. End of story.
5. Flexibility
Maybe you planned to take on a building project, and you can’t quite figure it out. You just may break up can’t come to an agreement on the bedding. Or your budget is limiting that end look, and it’s all you can do. Thinking creatively beyond the box, and learning to roll with the punches is a fine art that’s only mastered by practicing it often. Never underestimate the power of thinking creatively, and being flexible. Sometimes an artists’ limitations can end up being their greatest strengths.
We have failures all the time. See: our last barn door project. Did you know that wasn’t our first? The first ended in shreds in the front yard when I found Jamin in full on Jason mode, I thought he might salvage the wood for later, but nope there he was chain saw, hockey mask and all. Because sometimes things need to be mutilated in therapeutic ways (and it wasn’t salvageable). It’s all about the process, and learning and getting back up from those thrown punches that you take directly in the face. We’ve all been there. That’s life.
So handle yourself {and life} with grace. With projects, and living in the middle of doing them. Because you have to live your life, and at the end of the day, it’s just not that big of a deal. When you look back, nothing will stand out to you about your home more than the memories made in it. The rest, is just gravy.
You’ll be surprised at what’s totally doable when you think creatively. And live out a few design/forest gump/and forget the I-can’t-fit-into-my-corset part.
Life is like a box of chocolates, and we plan to enjoy every flavor.
What are some of your favorite virtues for home redos that have come in handy for you? We’d love your input!
If you’d like to see more of our home, be sure to check it out, here!
Cara @theprojectaddict says
My projects always take much much much longer than planned. I like your calculations!
ashley @ the handmade home says
OUrs do, too! Sometimes, it feels like we will never finish! ;}
Kari says
“And this isn’t Trading Spaces.” Exactly right and so what I needed to hear. Thanks for the pep talk! 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
HA! And we all know what those trading spaces rooms looked like up close and personal… ;}
Tania // Run to Radiance says
Soooo I just saw Forest Gump for the first time last month when Scott forced me to sit down and watch it.
Tania // Run to Radiance says
Ummm idk where the other half of my comment went! 🙂 I was saying your list was awesome and just what I needed to read this morning- my patience was not good this morning and I wanted to just bulldoze our whole house down and start over!!
Nicole says
Your equation for length of projects is spot-on. So I have five kids…I’m doomed, lol! But thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I’ll get the kitchen cabinet doors on before they leave for college!?
ashley @ the handmade home says
Well, you’re not alone. For what it’s worth, I’m not sure I would even be able to get out of bed with five! You’re in good company, and we only have three! ;}
Alice says
This is hilarious! Love your honesty. Sometimes it can feel kind of discouraging – dealing with stuff vs real life. Thank you
Christy says
Spot on that I should find your site today (thanks Joss&Main). I’m in the “going through this” part of remodeling my office/studio. It’s been a hodge podge of second-hand furniture that I was going to refinish someday and now I want a writer’s/artist’s oasis. My best virtue is patience. Though I lost it yesterday and shed a tear or two. I got over it, solved the problem and continued to remove 40 years worth of stuff. I filled the shed with boxes and now I’m moving stuff into the garage. That’s what triggered me. I’ve put my car out of its home for the duration. I got a reference for a great contractor to put in a door to the back yard, a bigger window, up the electrics, and remove the popcorn ceiling. It’s not a whole house but it’s my own room that I can make what I want. Yea! Thanks for an encouraging post.
ashley @ the handmade home says
You go, girl! We all lose our patience at some time or another. Most of the time it comes back. ;} So excited for you and your creative journey! ;} And thank you for stopping by! ;}
Anna, Sydney says
SHUT. UP. It’s SO not twenty years!? That would mean I’m… (counting on fingers)… NO. WAY?! At least that box of chocolates you’re referring to would explain the extra pounds…
ashley @ the handmade home says
HAHA right?! I’ve been enjoying the flavors, at least…
Helen says
Thank you for this! We’re in the middle (ha- likely not the middle, because I’m sure our endpoint is slipping further and further away…) of rebuilding our home after a tornado, and we’re in a temporary slump about how things are going. It’s all in the builders’/insurance company’s/mortgage company’s hands, which is hard when we just want to GO HOME! I appreciate your reminder that no, this is not a big deal. We’re leaning heavily on God, each other, and our sense of humor (which thankfully always shows up just when we’re about to lose it) and are taking it day by day, but it’s hard to deal with all the setbacks and stagnation sometimes. I love your blog and am desperately analyzing the zillion ideas I like as a crash-course in interior design. I’m hoping to create a light-filled, happy, casual home that really reflects us, so I come here often to copy ideas. Just kidding! I always see something I love, though, that gets me excited about taking on the overwhelming decorating task ahead. Thanks so much for sharing your lives and your home and giving me hope that our family also will eventually have some “afters” that we love. (‘Cuz the “before” sure wasn’t pretty – stupid tornado! :))
ashley @ the handmade home says
Oh my goodness, Helen. I’m so glad that a. you’re okay, physically? Are all of you okay? How terrifying and I can’t even begin to imagine that ordeal. It IS a big deal to go through and I admire your attitude. and b. thank YOU for the perspective. Praying for you as you continue this journey. We love to follow the progress of precious readers, so thank you for letting us know, and please please please keep us updated?