It’s official. I’m not gonna make it.
Celebrating the seasons on Social media is like being stuck in a room full of people, and they’re all excited about Fall. So I have to pretend like I’m excited too, or they’re all, what’s wrong with you? No one celebrates the seasons quite like they celebrate Fall and it has officially escalated to a cultish pitch. I have two heads or something if I actually confess that I may not be, in fact, head over heels, backflips and cartwheels excited about the cooler weather.
As a content creator, and a living human who has a Facebook account out of all things necessary evil {if I could quit all the things FB and move to Tahiti, I would, but now I have three kids and I have to pay for college} I can contribute perpetuate the conversation mass brain washing by doing seasonal things.
I’m all, hey, look at my pumpkins. Isn’t this pumpkin pretty?
In June.
via Aaron Burden – unsplash.com {that is gorgeous though. Thus my conflicting emotions.}
I share seasonal memes to cover my shame. It’s all a sham. A sad attempt to blend in.
I’ve always said I’m a reluctant seasonal decorator. I’ve made a recent self-discovery – I think my general dislike of being cold is the place from which my resentment stems.
So I top it all off by lighting all the pumpkin spice candles and drinking all the pumpkin spice coffee and wearing my awesome pumpkin spice sweater with my matching pumpkin spice Ugg boots like a basic girl in the Fall, to celebrate. Jk I don’t own Uggs because of that video with Pink. And because they’re ugly. But it’s all a lame attempt mask my sadness.
Because the truth of the matter is, I’m more than a basic girl. I’m a summer girl.
I know. Right? Against the grain. Because I’m edgy like that. And I’m here today to declare it from the rooftops: Fall is not my favorite season.
WHAT.
Before you bring out your pitchforks laced with apple cider and angry mob torches, let me hitch up my yoga pants and explain.
via meme center
See: exhibit A:
I’m from the deep south. I recently relocated to Tennessee. {Stay with me.}
People from the North, where they have ice chunks already blocking their doorway, are totes side-eyeing me right now.
But the fact of the matter is, this makes me a reformed Fall lover. I’m from the kind of South where my husband actually says “CAINT” for can’t, the phrase “Shade tree” is actually a thing, there’s a church on every corner {usually, they even share parking lots} and sweet tea is derived from some form of maple syrup concentrate so we can clog all our arteries and die at 50. I mean, don’t even serve it to me without the sugar whatsiwrongwithYOU.
Fall for me, growing up, meant that it dropped to 95 degrees, just in time for us to sweat at the Football games. This means we were excited.
Tennessee is no longer the deep south. It’s like, the hills or something. It’s not the same. I get that we asked for this. {We are obsessed with Franklin and are constantly all, ohmygoshiloveit.}
But you’d think that one state up in the moving department wouldn’t be such a game changer. Because my only singular complaint, is the coldness here.
I know. Cue the eye rolls.
Even the bugs here are different and no one understands. For real y’all, the spiders here are whack. There’s a major climate adjustment that will have to take place within my innermost DNA on a molecular level so that I can survive. I’m from the tropics. So how does this happen? Do I need to be bitten by a spider? Do I die and come back to life as a vampire? Or what? Help. Me.
It was cold here this morning, but it will jump to 75 by the end of the day. Which means that I basically just have screwed up allergies with numb fingers and toes. This conundrum is complicated when paired with two stubbornly cheap, full-grown adults who won’t turn on the heat just yet because of those afternoon temps. Let it also be noted that apparently, we also moved to Seattle. People keep saying the weather is odd here but 1.5 years in, I no longer believe them. I think they’re all lying – It rains all the time when winter hits. Therefore, Fall is a precursor to the whole WINTER IS COMING thing, but this is a real fear for me. I’m breaking out my Claritin and Wellbutrin on an I.V.
I can’t even.
See: exhibit B:
We have a pool.
Owning a pool translates to fun time. This means that our kids get into the pool when it’s twelve below freezing in the spring time, in eager anticipation of spring and summer. {I’m sure it’s only thirty-five degrees or something, but anything below fifty is twelve below because exhibit A… Also, math is hard.}
We dared them to jump in last March, and they actually did. They loved it. I was convinced they would all fall ill to pneumonia, while I was still complaining about the temperature in May. Cue me, squealing like a stuck pig whilst simultaneously swearing death threats under my breath when the kids so much as trickled water on me.
Because we own a pool, all year long should be pool season. Didn’t the person in charge of dubbing seasons get that memo? I filled out a survey recently {don’t ask me why – I think it had something to do with procrastination} that asked me how many times a year we entertain. The biggest number I could pick on said survey, was 12 times a year. Uh, try 12 times in the first month of summer. Our house is the go-to default fun house. So much so that I’m waiting for my return invites from some friends that are all, Good times thanks for having us over twenty times in a row, see ya next Summer.
We’re all, The door swings both ways, KAREN.
JK we don’t have a friend named Karen. At least probably not anymore since I wrote this.
DOUBLE JK no one reads this blog.
Our house is the main station for all things fun and we like it that way. Cold weather cancels that. Pool heater is on the list, because swimming season is about four months here. Thanks, Tennessee. Thaaaaaanks.
See the things that could also be influencing my feelings: Mid-basement construction that needs to hurry up because I refuse to lay tile in sub zero weather with numb fingers. See also also: Porch redo that we would like to happen soon that I haven’t mentioned yet but I’m really excited about. First world problems.
I really am basic.
Shhhh.
See: Exhibit C:
Dwindling daylight hours.
So much I could say on this topic. Starting with: Who’s idea was this? Who is in CHARGE HERE?! Can we not fix this?
4:30 p.m. and it’s dark? 6:00 a.m. and it’s still dark? Cue the cold and I’m absolutely worthless. You can find me snuggled under the covers.
If I have a doctor’s note stating that I have a vitamin D. deficiency, can I not skip this part of adulting? Don’t get me out of bed until the coast is clear and it’s at least nine so that I can see the sunlight. I’m actually the reverse of a vampire, and I will hiss at you if it’s still dark.
We’re not farmers on candlelight anymore. I don’t need to fall back into Fall or whatever it is. I need Hawaii and a sunset cruise and luaus. And most importantly, the sun.
The cold weather… It is kinda pretty, though.
To make matters worse, Jamin wants to go camping. This is basically the cold weather version of waterparks.
Like, how do I brush my teeth? Is there a bathroom? Do I wear my clothes to bed? Do I die?
I married a complete psychopath.
all the clever shirts. via Jane
Nope. I’m not gonna make it. Count me out for Fall, Winter, and basically don’t wake me up until May.
Bonus round: Our first snow day last year. And people with rabies who think I’m an idiot.
At the end of the day, there’s always this:
What’s your favorite season? {You can totally say Fall, and I will not side eye you.}
Have an inspired day!
I am with you, girl, but MY Uggs are cute!
HAHA! Touché. Touché.
Oh my. I live in Atlantic Canada. I am a summer lover through and through. I was born in January. It’s a cruel joke, for realz. I feel so jealous of anyone living their winters in Tennessee. My sister-in-law is from Gallatin and I wonder what part of her brain was turned off when she decided to join my brother here rather than force him south. We do have really pretty falls, though, amd not much for weird smallish leggy creatures. And this year we broke a 104-year record for warmest October.
I can’t imagine! You’re my hero. Also, the bugs here. I have respect for spiders, because I try really really hard, but they still freak me out. And they’re EVERYWHERE here. We’re in the middle of a basement rehab and I heard a rustling noise. I thought it was a mouse. Out scattered a spider SO BIG it would rival AUSTRALIA’s SPIDERS. Maybe I’m exaggerating a TAD but it still scared the living Jehoshaphat out of this gal. ;}
The ONLY thing that would have made this most better were if the title had been “I ain’t doin’ it,” ala Heather Land.
But seriously. Best post I’ve read in all the months. 😉
And the greater Nashville area is SCREWED when it comes to daylight savings nonsense. Y’all truly should NOT be on Central time, and I have always thought that.
Hang in there, Ash. May always comes.
THANK YOU for GETTING ME! Hahahaha I feel so ALONE and CRAY CRAY ;D Everyone looks at me like I have two heads, and gives me a courtesy smile when I say it’s COOOLLLLLDDDDD! ;} “May always comes” I’m writing it on the wall. Over and over again a-la All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy 😀
Haha! I live about 2.5 hours from Franklin and was born and raised a middle-TN girl, so I get how it’s hard to adjust coming from a mostly warm climate. It can get really cold in TN in the winter, no doubt, but it sometimes doesn’t even snow much in winter. Some winters we will get 1 and maybe 2 good snows that shut schools down for nearly a week but usually it’s here one day and gone the next. It’s super fun and stress-free though when they are calling for snow in the forecast and the stores sell out of bread and milk in 2 hours! I personally love Spring the best because I know that the leaves will soon be returning to the trees. Winter depresses me because the trees look so pitiful and there is no color. My birthday is in the Spring too so that probably is the main reason. I love that in TN we have a true 4 seasons to experience.
YES! The madness here is insane! HAHA! I think it is because of the no daylight thing, and everything is cold and wet. It’s rough. I hope I eventually adjust. Eventually. Maybe it means I need to go for a swim in the icy pool this winter like those hot coal walkers on islands for some kind of religious conversion. I’m that desperate.
I’m from Oklahoma and say “cain’t” too. Lol I live in Arkansas now and hate the humid heat of the summer and love the cooler temps, but I’m in the minority in thinking among my friends.
LOL I hate fall mostly because I know Winter is coming, and last winter was a doozy. I am counting the days to spring. I would be moving to Arizona if all my grandchildren did not live close. We have a 3 season room in our new home, this year I am installing a ductless heating and cooling system so we can use it all year around. I never walked out there from November to May last year. I decided that was a waste of space without heating. The funny thing is – it never got to hot for me this summer, even on the 100 degree days. Others were sweating and I was basking.
Thanks for the giggles. I like my summer too.
oh my gosh!! i don’t read your blog on a regular basis (due to lack of time), but so glad i did today!!! You made me laugh out loud!!! I’m from Illinois and I love fall….even though we haven’t had much of one from unseasonably warm to unseasonably cold! We lived in Georgia for 2 years and adapted quite quickly to the much warmer temps, especially when it was 58 degrees in January and that was “spring” for us from the Midwest…though everyone was complaining how cold it was and wearing winter coats,scarves, etc.! Hope you have a mild winter this year! And thanks again for a great post!!!
We live in Eastern Washington (the “sunny side” of the state) and every year the sun goes away in November and I’m never sure it will return!!! We moved here from Texas 42 years ago and I still haven’t adjusted!! I don’t mind the cold or snow/ice but the absence of sunshine is unacceprable. I have to keep telling myself…”It could always be worse…we could live on the coast and never see the sun!” NO SUNSHINE MAKES ME CRANKY!!
Great article but … can’t relate. I’m a Canadian girl, as far west as you can go (Vancouver Island) and there is snow on the ground … so … not feeling your pain so much. And, who is Franklin, with the cult following? Benjamin? Franklin, here, is the Franklin expedition. Life in Tennessee is fodder for another blog post. I would love to hear what life is like for the general Tennesseean (sp?).
PS: You’re gonna make it.
Girl! I ain’t doin’ it neither! Lol! I was raised in the rolling hills of Alabama. There’s a picture of me as a toodler, standing by my granddaddy’s car, all bundled up, in the snow and looking grumpy, miserable and unhappy. Fast forward 56 years, any pictures taken of me during cold weather (which I define as anything under 65 degrees) will find the same look on my face….it’s a look of utter misery and betrayal….it’s the deep South where it’s SUPPOSED to be WARM! My opinion of cold weather hasn’t changed a jot since I was not quite two years old.
I’ve never lived outside of the deep South….Alabama, Mississippi, Florida and in Louisiana where my husband and I raised our children (all of us still here btw). I don’t WANT to live anywhere outside of the deep South. I am a child of the South to the bones….all of which HATE the cold and announce their displeasure quite forcefully. I would rather sweat than shiver although I do plenty of shivering even in the summer down here. Why? Because 99% of the people that I know keep their ACs set at meat freezing temperatures in their homes. WHY? WHY? WHY? Yet they complain when the weather turns cold! People are contrary creatures.
I grew up in my grandparent’s four room, no AC little house that was shaded by huge pecan trees. There was a front porch and a back porch. Granddaddy turned half of the back porch into a bathroom with a big old cast iron tub….perfect for cooling off in. The front porch had….if course….a porch swing where Grandmama and I would sit in the afternoon and enjoy a snack of Ritz crackers and cheese and share one of those little green glass bottles of co’cola. She’d read me bible stories or crochet for a bit. Sometimes we’d listen to the Blackwoods on the radio. And the sounds that will forever be the background music of my childhood are the whir and click of the oscillating fans that Granddaddy bought for all four rooms, the creak of the old porch swing, the bang of a screen door, the sound of clothes flapping in the breeze on the clothesline, the nightly cricket chirp serenade drifting in through open windows and old time gospel music playing on the radio.
Hi, my name is Kim and I’m a child of the deep South and a summer girl to the bone!
Im right there with you. The only thing good about fall is Thanksgiving, which, in my opinion, is lost in all the “fall mania” and then Christmas. And while we’re being honest, I don’t like pumpkin spice coffee and all those super-weird shaped gourds. We live in southwest Ohio (Cincinnati) and our pool season is only 4 months as well. I love to garden, cut flowers and make arrangements, spend time with my chickens and just be outside. I get that feeling in my gut once fall arrives, knowing what is just around the corner – old man winter, where the sun doesn’t shine for months. The only good thing about winter, beside Christmas, is knowing spring is coming.
Move to the desert……..where you can finally turn off the a.c. in October granted I not a fan of being cold either ,I know why all old people move to the desert.
Texan for life, over half a century according to my youngest, and this made me laugh so hard! I want to travel somewhere and see snow for a few days, then come home to shorts and t-shirts in January.And I will take fresh pico and salsa over pumpkin spice any day!
I’ve got your back. I am a born and raised Southern California girl. I’ve lived all over and when we moved back home, which was 11 years ago, I have yet to put a pair of pants on, only shorts. We went from over 100 degree’s a week ago, to not like in the 60’s and I am freezing. Maui, here I come..
Amen.
Hate to say that I’m a cold weather loving girl who was born in Montgomery, AL, lived in the Mississippi Delta as a young child, and grew up in Jackson in the era before schools had a/c. I detest hot, humid weather. I refuse to go visit family in Atlanta in summer. I’ve lived in Colorado for 27 years and love the drier air, the change of seasons, and SNOW. I’m the 180 opposite of you with no desire to go to a beach or anywhere the humidity makes me sweat by simply walking through a door to the outside. And, yes, Fall is my favorite season. 😉
I can relate, except, it is my exact sentiments for SUMMER. I like July ONLY because it signals that it is almost August, which means it is almost September, which means it is almost October and almost my favorite 30 or so day span of the year–Oct. 15 to Nov. 15. I also like winter and love snow and ice and wind storms and heavy rain and lightning and thunder, and hail, and sleet. I don’t like March because that is the beginning of the hard season for me.
I like it when the days start getting shorter, not longer. I like it when it is dark for a long time. This is because I’m an introvert and love reading and thinking and when it is cold and dark, you don’t have run and pretend you are doing something else, because those things are not questioned when it’s the cold season, or people are inside doing whatever and don’t notice, etc.
Summer makes me depressed, but I’m trying to appreciate it, to find the beauty of it. I live in the NW, near Portland, OR, and TN would seem pretty warm to me. Even when we moved two hours south in August for a few months and considered living there in the winter, too, I was actually anxious that it wouldn’t be cold enough. I would shrivel up and die in the deep south of utter, complete despair at all the sun. Most people I know like summer and hate winter. Maybe they like fall *kind of*… like when it’s not too cold yet, and they make sure to add that last part. I just nod and then feel weird and alone. I like fall *because* of the getting-colder days. I long to live in blizzard country with 8 months of winter out of the year.
So that is my 100% opposite experience but similar in poignancy. Singapore at 80 degrees 365 days of the year would drive me nuts!!!!!
Anna, you are my spirit person.
Hi Ashley,
I agree, summer totally wins the season contest, hands down:) Fall does have a few redeeming factors though, liiiiiike sweaters and pumpkins…. and boots:) You asked earlier if we had ideas for printables and I do have one idea… I am having a crowd for Thanksgiving and would love some placecards…I love your site, thank you for sharing!!
Awesome! I just completed some place cards today & it’s up next week! ❤️❤️❤️
I’m a warm weather girl, who needs her sun( light) who got transplanted to northern ca where cold is in the singles (thankfully only a week or two a year) and hot is in the triples. I do live for the warm days of spring and summer and cry when i have to wear socks when my feet are still sporting a tan.
hopefully it won’t last long………
Ashley, I’m with you. I have lived in South Texas all my life…the last 43 years, South of Houston close to the coast. I put a sweater on if its below 70. But, things could get worse, with age. You will be glad you can step out side in the cold when you start to have hot flashes! I have to put my head in the freezer 10 times a day and go to bed with an ice pack. LOL The saying is true..”Getting old is NOT for sissy s”. Oh, and the new craze is to go “Get Frozen”; you stand in this chamber for 3 minutes…liquid nitrogen gets the temp to below 0. Its suppose to relieve aches and pains, and help you loose weight –at $30. I would not recommend it working, but its interesting. Look at all the money you can save!!
I’m another Canadian girl. Born and raised in southern Ontario, where I thought it was cold. Then I moved to Montreal, and then to Ottawa (capital of Canada), and I thought it was frigid. Well, the joke’s on me, because 6 years ago we moved to Saskatchewan, which is all prairies, and made me redefine cold. I used to think -20 celcius (-4 fahrenheit) was as cold as it could possibly go during the day–hahahahahaha. Where I live, -40 celcius (-40 fahrenheit) is not an abnormal January/February temperature. Fall here lasts maybe a minute–it’s been snowing here the last few days, and we’re sitting at about -8 celcius (17 fahrenheit) during the day. And it’s November. It is WRONG. So, so, so very, very wrong. I miss summer already, and winter is long–it’ll still be snowing here in April. WTF. However, Canada rocks (not that other countries don’t, of course!) and I love the city where we live. But global warming just in my area would be nice ;). So, I agree–fall is NOT my favourite season. GO SUMMER!!!!
AMEN, SISTER!!!!!! I LOVE SUMMER!!!!!!!!!! I am in South Florida, anything below 70 is cold…and I don’t like being cold (unless of course, I am in the ac) #don’tjudge
Another reason to add to the list: all that Tennessee orange! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7G7loR2VVw I’m with you on the daylight savings thing, though and hating the 35 at night 85 by the afternoon thing.
First,this post made me LOL! I too “love fall” on the social side, but I really don’t understand the hype. It’s probaby because I live in central Arizona where fall means temps might finally dip to 90* and we won’t die from stepping outside for more than 5 minutes. Leaves changing colors-nope. Cute sweaters, scarves or boots-nope, you’ll still fry cause Mother Nature is cruel to this part of the country (and definitely no Uggs – I’m with you on that one). I do enjoy a few pumpkin flavored foods, but that’s really the only fall thong that keeps me going until winter (which is pretty decent around here) or Spring (my favorite season).
Oh my gosh! What a great post! But poor Karen;). Had to share it with my husband and it he loved it too. And yessss, I am a hater of daylight savings too. Hate it. Hate it.
Be strong.
This was a hoot! I’m in southeast PA and a part of the “why is it constantly raining in the winter.,.,” group I literally shout from the rooftops when I see a snowflake anymore. We too have a pool and let me tell you, those invites never come… Actually we finally found time yesterday to close it! If you scroll through my IG I’m pretty sure there’s a pic with the pool open and snow all around it from a few years ago. You know, because it’s supposed to snow in OCTOBER! Someone needs to give Mother Nature a really good glass of sweet tea, coffee, wine or a Pepsi!