I tried two new-to-me activities over the winter. Both of them were unplanned and unexpected. One was totally out of my comfort zone, and I was absolutely terrible at both. At first.
I spent the winter in a bit of a recluse mode, powering down and conserving my energy, for lots of reasons. If I’m being honest, some of it was going to therapy. Some of it was just being a mom. Parenting three teenagers and helping them learn how to navigate life, is a full time job on its own. {MIDDLE SCHOOL IS BRUTAL – can someone take me back to my Mickey Mouse Clubhouse days?} I’m searching for tools in my toolbox that I don’t have to help them navigate life. So, breaking family cycles and being intentional, are part of what makes adulting so hard. Between that, and running a full-time business, and our own renovation… {see: life just like everyone else} I don’t have time for much. I find myself easily melting when the dogs have mud on their feet. Or if the oven breaks. Or the fact that we found a leak under our sink and now our hardwoods are ruined. {WHEEEEE!} Basically, when it rains it pours, and though it all sounds like total champagne probs, I found myself in that season of life of both discovery and work. It can be tiring. I’m just glad spring is here and we’re rounding the corner. So why on earth would I try something brand new, to add to my plate?
Most {sane} people wouldn’t. The first answer is peer pressure. Plain and simple, the good kind. I think that in the middle of a murky season of life, it feels good to be invited to something. To take a fresh perspective. To spend time with friends when I want to withdraw.
The first class was a 6 week stained glass course, that I’ve mentioned previously. I’d wanted to take one forever, so when a sweet friend asked if I’d like to join her, I said yes. I sucked at it, at first, but I got better. To the point where a delayed spark arrived at about week three, and I absolutely fell in love.
The second one was a dance class that a friend pulled me into, totally last minute. I already know that I’m terrible at dancing, but for some reason, I said yes.
I was still terrible at it.
And I found both instances oddly refreshing.
Because I laughed my way, armed with self-deprecation, through both.
So, I tried two new things this winter. I took a little risk. Here’s what I learned.
My piece and the beautiful piece of my friend, Mary! She’s so talented!
• Resilience pays.
I’m no quitter. Sometimes, much to my own detriment. I may be short on patience… but resiliency is probably a strong point of mine. Even if I complain my way through it. As a kid, I was labeled as stubborn. I guess it bloomed into resiliency and I guess this character trait can pan out either way. But I’d like to think that it’s usually a good thing. Running a business is a marathon. Parenting is a marathon. Life is a marathon. But I do think that it pays to struggle through something, and see what happens. Sometimes there isn’t that initial spark. Sometimes it takes a minute. Sometimes you fail. But you learn, either way.
• Find the humor in the moment.
I can get angry over a broken piece of glass, or annoyed by a bad dance move I can’t quite get. Or I can laugh and just have fun. I find that humor is the key to a lot of life’s issues. Humor is one of my main go-to’s. {See: Self-deprecation – my therapist would probably tell me to chill with that one. I’d argue it makes me charming.}
• I’m simply not good at some things.
Duh. And one of them is still dancing. But as adults, we fall into the same old stuff when it comes to routines. Our high school days of being forced to take Chemistry or try out for the school play {it was so limiting} are over. We’ve hopefully fallen into what we’re good at, and stuck with those things because familiarity is safe. But I’d also argue that it causes us to fall into ruts. And like it or not, it’s good to exercise those other uncomfortable muscles every now and again. Because I did, and it opened up new doors. Literally. I’m now building two {from stained glass}. I still might fail. But I love it. So I’ll figure it out.
• Vulnerability is good. Actually, it’s essential.
One could argue that I try new things frequently. I think that this was different, because it was in a class situation, and for some reason, that made me feel vulnerable. I needed to explore why I had those feelings. Self-preservation? Pride? I’m used to sticking to things that I’m good at? Probably because I’m compensating for past failures. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m conserving, and not so good at being vulnerable right now. But taking a risk and being vulnerable is another muscle. It may hurt at first, but it’s actually good for you. And it helps you connect with others. It’s essential.
• It’s good to invest in yourself.
I’ve now set up an entire studio in our back room for glass and painting. One process I’m familiar with, one not so much… but it confirmed for me once again, that it’s good to take a step back and do what you love. Healthy outlets like creating are one of the best coping mechanisms of all. It’s okay to create, just to create. It builds confidence to become better at a new skill, and that’s a basic psychological tool that can be useful in life. To escape for a while and clear your headspace. Selfishness isn’t always bad, and we’ve been brainwashed with that mantra that it is. I’m just better at life, if I have more in my cup to pour from, into others. I’ve known this for a really long time, but I needed to be reminded of that.
• Know thyself.
Stained glass didn’t click for me, until I took my work home, threw in some AirPods, and listened to murder whilst cutting glass. That made it fun for me. I don’t work well in some situations, and it’s important to be able to sort the little things from an objective point of view. Know yourself well enough to be able to come at it from a different angle, if it’s not working the first time.
For me, this does not include dancing. Unless I’m with my kids in the kitchen, you probably won’t find me learning a routine. And that’s perfectly okay. I’m comfortable enough with myself to move on.
So maybe this is just some derpy-cute story about how I fell flat on my face lots of times and got back up. Life is still hella messy. It’s challenging and laundry is piled up and I dropped an entire bin of glass last week, and they broke into a million different pieces and I said bad words because it felt good. But I’m still growing as a person, and I have to give myself room to do that. We’re not perfect, and we’re not supposed to be. Creating space is one of the important things you can do for yourself, and for those that you love. And that means flexing those muscles, if you feel kinda stuck in life.
All so you can grow.
So, try something new. You may fall in love. You may suck to the tenth degree. It’s good to have an outlet, and learn new things about yourself… you never know what you may find, when you take a little risk.
Nancy F Lambert says
Awesome job, they are beautiful.
I always wanted to learn how to do stain glass.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much! I am just looking for more time to take it on – but it is so much fun! I highly recommend a local class, but I’ll be sharing more here, too.
Kate @ Centsational Style says
Love this so much
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much friend.
Jeanine says
I may have no right to be, but I’m very proud of you for this post! I once heard a pastor say that the key points of Ecclesiastes is to take risks, enjoy life, and prepare to meet your maker. It sounds like you’re doing all three, and that is to be commended. God bless you! Also, middle school is brutal! I had to take my kids out and homeschool during those years for their sanity and mine!