I was going to prepare a post for today.
I mean, I kind of did. But after hustling for so long, I’ve fallen on my face. It’s been one of those weeks where I literally screamed out loud in the car, and had an all out hissy fit right in front of Jamin… in some weird small toddler/deranged psychopath combo… and he didn’t bat an eye.
It’s not like this was my first ever hissy fit. I’ve had quite a few along the way. Let’s just be real here. But all-out-screaming put me on some temporary release… and then I was like a drowsy kid because that exerted way too much emotional energy and I thought, “Well, getting angry was stupid.”
He took me to get some chicken biscuits instead, and I felt better.
True love, y’all. Zero judgement.
Today, I cried twice with the kids for various reasons. Basically, I felt like a total MOTY and I cried and they cried… then after apologizing, I came inside and did the ugly cry. The one where I perched on the {closed} toilet seat of the two bedroom apartment, hiding away from them in the only place I could go. When Jamin asked me what was wrong and I just sputtered out incoherent sentences. At some point, there was a “There there” from one confused husband, maybe even a head pat and a pep talk… and we moved forward. I’m scary, y’all.
Then we struggled through homework and I collapsed on the sofa with one kiddo showing me their Pokemon cards, the other falling asleep in my lap.
It’s just been one of those weeks. You know the kind, right? Where I feel like I’m not cutting it as a decent human being, or corralling my emotions like normal people do, whoever those people {alien mannequins} are.
Or in getting a #$&%*@)(@#)$(8##%* house completed.
So we can move forward for the love of METHUSELAH.
But they extend their grace to me as a mom, and a wife, and coworker and friend and… anyway.
{PS. I had to google Methuselah because it sounded important, but I forgot who that was.}
I just think it gets harder before it gets better. You know how close you are, after waiting all this time. You see your tile. You see your cabinets. And you’re going down the list thinking… is it time yet? Like my parents sent me to my room six months three years ago, and I’m standing at the door yelling, “Can I come OUT NOW?!” And you feel insufficient at everything and you think… something’s gotta give. It’s time to complete this silly transition and just get settled and move forward with our lives and school and relationships and business… the list keeps going.
We’re actually further along than these photos show, but a thunderstorm came yesterday and some workers were there late {BLESS them – we’re just grateful to HAVE workers} and I didn’t get a chance to do a for real ‘shoot’ because I’m guarding that marble and soapstone with my life and a plethora of blankets… and I gave up for the sake of sanity. (Hardwood source…Pergo floors in Flint Maple)
So why am I sitting here rambling and being a little too honest anyway? Because I guess I just wanted to check in and feel a little normalcy, myself. To feel connected again. And I thought I would show you a few shots I grabbed on my phone… even though it’s hidden under my grubby, paint covered case.
Just in case you thought we died under a collapse of hardwood floors. Because I thought for a bit, that we just might.
If we didn’t kill each other first. True story. Crying and chicken biscuits make everything better.
They also prevent murder.
And here’s a sneak peek of our tile. These are from last Saturday.
YAAAASSSSS.
But here’s why I’m really writing.
In a rehab, it’s amazing how much of your moolah flies out the windows for things you don’t even see. Like, say… your new HVAC and hot water heater for starters. ;} Or that septic issue they’ve been holding over our heads for months. But we’re gearing up to take care of this septic system… because we’ve never had one before. Like new parents, we’re blundering around and while I will read up on everything… I thought, duh. Ask the experts.
That’s you.
We’ve heard sour buttermilk is good. To avoid bleach products, and use rid-ex {I’m too lazy to go look the spelling of this one up}… I don’t plan to mass flush Clorox Wipes any time soon.
But got any hind-sight-is-50/50-advice for little old us? We’d love to hear what you recommend and any way to avoid the horror stories. I don’t know why I’m so skittish about it…
Promise not to scream and throw a chicken biscuit at you. Those are too good to waste.
We promise to be back the first of next week with some eye candy pics. They’re worth the wait. We’re so close.
Let ’em fly! We’d love to hear from you and what you’d recommend about caring for a septic system!
We have had septic systems at all three houses we’ve lived in since we’ve been married and we’ve had no major issues. My sister uses RidX and loves it, we just do the three year pump out. And I do use bleach products occasionally, because, well…germs(!) and it does not seem to bother anything. The one ultimate killer of septic systems is water softeners–the salt will EAT OUT THE TANK! We have friends that learned the hard way! If you have to have a water softening system have it flush out with your sump pump (assuming you have one for your basement-in DE it is a must!) P.S.-Love the floors!
I always put active yeast in the toilet and flushed it. It’s supposed to work the same way as Rid-ex…or so I was told. That tank has been there over 30 years and has never had a problem. I don’t live there anymore, but family owns it now. As far as I can remember, it’s ever had to be pumped out.
My parents also do a teaspoon of yeast (buy the big bag at Sam’s/Costco) in each sink and toilet when the seasons change, and they haven’t had to pump their septic either. Must be on to something here!
That tile is FABULOUS.
I don’t have any advice about septic systems, sorry! *ducks a biscuit* But I did want to say thank you for blogging the ugly (which sounds yuckier than it is) These past few months have been rough while my husband and I lived in different states during our five-month-move and I wish I could write about it. I just kind of shut down. I hope your parents let you come out of your room soon (so to speak.) In the meantime, may the grace of your community and the chicken biscuits be plentiful!
Yes to this! Couldn’t muster many words for this post- I’m just tired. With a desperate need for normal. Hang in there sweet lady… I know that has to be hard. Thinking of you!
I have no help to offer in the septic department, just some solidarity. Over the summer our family of 6 was crammed into a temporary dilapidated apartment trying not to kill each other while we waited to move into our new home. We finally got the keys, which should have been so much better (and was!), but then the reality of living in a construction zone and actually having to unpack all our crap (I thought we purged!) about did me in. I felt like I didn’t even recognized the bat-crazy person I had become and thought I truly may have lost my sanity for good. But children and husbands and a good God are full of grace. Chicken biscuits help too. I just kept thinking that a year from now we would be in a much better place. Just keep looking at that gorgeous tile and give yourself a break. Reno sucks. It’s really hard on everyone in every way, but you know it’s also worth it. Every day is one day closer to it truly being a home, even on the days it feels like there’s no progress. Almost there guys!!
They say renovation is a test of sanity, and looks like, with the help of chicken biscuits (and your blog) you will make it through.
Note for the septic tank, avoid Charmin toilet paper, it does not breakdown fast enough. And avoid feminine products flushed. My mother swears by the yeast thing, too.
What you have shared with us so far it looks beautiful and I know you and your family will enjoy the he!! out of it when it is done.
I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about septic systems. But I DO know about bad weeks!!!
It helps to know others are in the same boat.
Methuselah was the oldest man in the Bible. He lived 969 years and was the grandfather of Noah.
Hope your weekend will be great!
Rid x, plus regularly scheduled pump out will do the trick with a septic system.
Just so you know, I come for the posts about design and life, but I stay for posts like these. Thank you for your honestly and vulnerability that makes me laugh, but also reminds me that we’ve all been there and to take it a bit easier on myself when I need a good cry and a chicken biscuit. 🙂
It’s better to let it out then keep it in….you might of blown out an eyeball!! One of the things I’ve learned about septic tanks (we have had one for 25 years) is don’t do too many loads of laundry in one day, give each load time to drain before starting the next. I try not to more than three loads a day. Also, the garbage disposal, I don’t put peels or anything large down the disposal. We use RidEx occasionally. Hope that helps.
Wife of a septic installer – do not use flushable wipes they clog up pipes, do not flush feminine hygiene products or condoms, a little antibacterial soap is okay but do not overdo it, use liquid laundry soap the powdered stuff has fillers that turn to grease in your pipes and no additives are ever needed if you do your regular every 3 year pump out maintenance.
So are you supposed to just throw away your wipes? Or….?
I know, right? We really like our wipes. But the alternative is gross, too.
I don’t trust women who don’t have the occasional meltdown…… I’ve flung a biscuit (and a hammer or two) in my day. Although, it’s pizza that usually works for me and not chicken biscuits, lol!
I’m not expert, but I’ve heard via an old, experienced septic installer that tide isn’t great for septic (something about clay, I don’t know. When I Google it, the internets agreed?) and. No powder. I ignored that because I HEART Tide regular old powder, and what did that man know, anyway? Well, we have a septic that pumps out to a lagoon (soil in Missouri doesn’t support underground septic very easily). Anyway. Our lagoon wasn’t happy, the animals all moved out or died. Then our septic float was having issues. When my husband checked the septic he said it was covered in this funky goo. I immediately quit using the tide powder and, boom, lagoon got happy again and funky goo eventually went away. We recently had it pumped and they told us it looked great. Currently using Mrs myers liquid which seems to work great for clothes and septic and he washer. I still use bleach when needed and normal dishwasher detergent. If you have a high efficiency washer, then you probably can do more loads back to back than with an old fashioned one. Best wishes! And hang in there. You’ll be able to laugh about it all very soon.
Don’t use fabric softener in your washing machine. Not good for septic systems.
I think I will give the yeast a try!
Oh my where to start. I have cringed and bit the proverbial tongue few times when you mention septic.
You asked so here it is. Septic should be at the top of the budget when it comes to living in the country, whether it is a new build or when buying someone’s property. It is one of the MOST important things you will install/maintain and own. Is it expensive, yes. Do you see it, no! But if it is not working right on your property it will be your # 1 nightmare.
My husband is a septic field designer, who not only teaches for the industry he also participates in writing new code updates for the industry as well. Now before you think I am advertising for him : dswastewaterdesign.com I am not! We are Canadian and deal with Canadian code standards. I have discussed your plight with frustration a few times and he said he believes that your state has one of the better SOP (standard of Practice code books.
Why am I sharing. Check out the site. At the very least it will give you some free reading information! Good luck, I hope that helps. I look forward to watching the progress of your restoration!
When we were doing the rehab/reno on our house I just kept telling myself…I only have to do this ONCE. I’ll never have to do this again (tile, flooring, etc). Somehow that helped. And that you have the help of your family, as we did, was huge. Just someone to come over and help get/keep you motivated is HUGE. The transformation is happening so quickly now. It’s very exciting!!!
I agree with all other comments on the septic. I also agree with the garbage disposal idea (after learning the hard way…I only turn in on after I rinsed off plates) that it’s not good for egg-shells, peels, etc. Those just got stuck in our pipes…what a mess!!!
When it comes to septic, it’s really all about whether or not you’re lucky enough to have good soil and good drainage. We lived in a house for 11 years and the septic tank wasn’t even buried to the right depth, and we had 1 more bathroom and 5 more people than we were supposed to have for its size. We never had one problem with it, never used any products, never had it pumped, nothing. We’ve been in our brand new house with its huge, modern septic system for 5 years and we’ve had to have the tank pumped every year after the first. We use Rid-X religiously but apparently we have hard clayey soil and it just doesn’t drain well. Good Luck.
Hi! I’ve read through most of the these septic pump comments and I am 100% on board with Marsha, wife of septic installer. I have had a septic system without any issues following exactly what Marsha recommended. Your system is designed to work without additives like Rid-X. Your system needs microbes so limit your anti-microbial product use. Don’t flush stuff that doesn’t biodegrade well, even if it says biodegradable, ie no wipes, no tampons, no pads, no condoms, no cat litter, etc. So yes, your poo covered wipes need to go into a trash bag lined garbage pail, preferably covered. 🙂 Don’t throw your kitchen grease down the sink drain, but rather let is cool and solidify and put it into the garbage, then wash the pan as usual. Lastly, have your system cleaned regularly. Pump the system to start fresh, about 3 years later pump again. A good septic company can assess at that time how you have been using your system and whether you need to pump a little more frequently or a little less often.
Good luck, stay tough, cry again, and eat more biscuits.
Oh. My. Those tiles!!!!!
I second Marsha and Melissa Z. My husband will third. The only thing that should go into the septic is biodegradable approved for septic toilet paper and human waste. Nothing else. Anything else will kill the microbes and then you have issues. Run your sinks and washing machines and showers on a separate line and re-use their gray water.
You don’t need Rid-X or yeast if the microbes in the septic are happy and taken care of properly. My grandmother had septic for decades that never had issues because it was setup and used correctly. Oh, the trouble us kids would get into if we dare disobey those orders!
Instead of throwing your money away wipes that some money-hungry companies convinced a good portion of the planet was life or death, install a bidet on every toilet.