In the fall of 2022, it was finally time to improve our home’s curb appeal. We’d already done this with Window World and their amazing facelift on our actual house. We’d worked so much on the inside and even in the backyard, that we’d done absolutely nothing for all things landscaping in the front. Our yard had a mullet. We’d been overwhelmed and not so sure about what to do. We were thrilled to change over our front yard for a much-needed update, with all things landscaping, with Yellawood + Glen-Grey Bricks. So we tackled it with a trellis, new brick walkway, and a little bit of landscaping until we could add to it this past spring. It made such a big difference.
Here’s what we started with that fall. We figured we would get the ‘building stuff’ out of the way and plant a few things to hold us off until spring. That was also the winter of the big freeze, and we lost a few new plants in the process. Then, I dedicated this past year to really babysit the front. Green thumb I have not, so I dedicated a lot of time to this space.
Fast forward a little, and to my delight, this is what the spring has yielded. I’ve learned a lot these past few years about all things gardening with my little front yard {and back yard} area. Now that I actually pay attention to it, it’s really therapeutic, and I’ve gleaned from both my mess-ups and victories. Maybe it’s just a little happy for you to read. Maybe this is something my kids will look back on in sheer amusement. Today, I thought I’d share a little of a few life metaphors: Lessons Learned in Gardening.
1. Hard Work Pays Off
I went from being that girl in college who would purchase one plant and wonder how it died {I forgot to water it, duh} to chattering endlessly to my kids about why ants are beneficial to peonies, and how to look for {and redirect} that new growth on the clematis. In short, I can do this. Basically, staying with it can be pretty empowering.
I divided it up into small, bite-sized steps and then tackled it one section and one day… at a time. At the risk of sounding trite, I think the same can be said about life. Keep at it. Even when you feel totally overwhelmed, don’t get lost in the big picture. Break it up into little sections at a time. It’s true, because it works.
2. It’s Okay To Make Mistakes
You learn this way. At first, my little perfectionist soul couldn’t handle losing a single thing in my little flower garden. But honestly, it’s the only way you’ll learn. And I’m talking the basics, guys. I went from perennials vs. annuals {why do I feel like they have the phrasing backward?} to how to make my hydrangeas change colors + what’s eating my Dahlias. Yes, it’s still basic for all things gardening, but hey…a big deal for me.
I feel like I wasn’t really allowed to make mistakes growing up. So it may seem like a simple concept to some, but it’s something I still struggle with as an adult. I had to allow myself to do so. It’s something pivotal I have to hand down to my own children. If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not growing anything. The same is true in life.
Just move along, and keep going.
3. Just Because It’s Not Happening in Your Time Frame, Doesn’t Mean it’s Not Happening
I thought this clematis was lost. So I read up, and I had to cut a lot of them back because of damaged vines last fall. I was fully prepared to change over to Jasmine this year for this entire trellis out of sheer frustration. Then one early spring morning a few weeks ago, I walked outside and was surrounded by glorious blooms. Gardening is truly a lesson learned in patience, and letting things be in their own time.
Just because it’s not happening in your made-up deadline of a time frame, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. One of the most important lessons I’ve really learned in the past decade, and this little clematis was a simple reminder.
4. You Won’t Always See Eye to Eye with Others and That’s Okay.
Some things are considered controversial to others in the world of gardening, and in life.
Everyone doesn’t have to be uniform in their beliefs and views, and if they don’t see things the same, that’s okay. As it turns out, you can actually agree to disagree without condemning everyone to Hell as a manipulative power move and go on with your life. I didn’t learn this until well into adulthood, either. I feel like maybe we should all take a little of that energy into cyberspace via Facebook this election year.
Some people consider honey suckle to be weeds. I do not, and have relocated one in my backyard because they remind me of my childhood summers. They can actually be quite charming.
This little guy {below} popped up the other day. I’ve also been known to rescue them from the pool. Why would I murder them? I’m not a monster. I know this enrages some people. Yes, they will mess up your yard. Yes, we are proactively killing off the grubs that they go after, so that they will relocate. Yes, I relocated him to another part of our yard, much to Jamin’s dismay. But if not friend, why friend shaped? It’s all I can say. I will always be an animal lover. Sorry not sorry. He was so soft. And cute. And just existing in his little blind world.
There’s nothing wrong with showing a little humane kindness.
5. Don’t Miss Out on the Little Things.
Gardening has helped me stop and literally smell the roses, even when I’m tempted to rush through my day. I can’t tell you how many birds nests we have observed hatching and progressing, then leaving under the watchful eye of anxious parents. This always feels really poetic to me, especially this year with a senior.
By the way, their poop has helped plant so many trees in our yard, it’s kind of ridiculous. We think they’re the best gardeners around. Gross but true. We now have two 10-ft tall {15 feet?} trees in our front yard that we’ve grown from seedlings since 2020. Do said birds make a mess on our porch right after we had the house fully pressure washed and windows cleaned? Yes. Do we clean it up and move on? Also yes.
There are bigger problems in life, y’all. We would have missed out on so much, and we often do in life, if we don’t just stop and observe and be fully in the present.
6. It takes both sunshine and rain
What’s that phrase by the great Dolly Parton? Ah, Yes. “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”
We all have seasons in life that are both hard and amazing. I was in the really difficult these last few years, and now I’m facing the bittersweet. Jamin always reminds me not to take any of it so seriously. The highs won’t always be that high, and the lows won’t stay that way, either. They balance each other out and help us grow as people. Just like that garden. So take it all in stride.
7. What You Nurture is What Will Grow
Truly, the thing that you pour your energy and care into is what will grow. Just like the above point, you may not realize it at the time, but it’s all those days of hard work that come together to culminate in something truly beautiful. {I guess you could also apply this to remodeling a house.} Again, life. It’s true there, too. Put your energy into the things you truly care about. Remove the negative. It will pay off in dividends.
8. Remove Problems from the Beginning
Before they become bigger problems, later. This one is pretty self-explanatory and I’m sure you can see where I’m going with it. If you go ahead and take care of the little weeds before they become big ones, it’s best to get them out of the garden before they become such an issue later. I’m often reminded after looking at social media for too long, that the grass really isn’t always greener on the other side. Pay attention to your own space and nurture it well.
Those root systems run far and deep, in a network together. So be careful about what you let in. Everything is related and it’s good to stay mindful. And a good prune from time to time is healthy for your plants, even if it hurts at the time. {The same can be said for haircuts.}
9. Fences Are Healthy
They establish literal boundaries. They keep your yard and kids safe. They’re required if you have a pool, to keep others safe, too. We’re talking real, actual fences. They’re healthy and beneficial in so many ways. I know not everyone will agree with this one. I truly believe they’re necessary if you have animals, and that’s just my baseline.
Some people may be mad when you put up those boundaries. Even when you did a land survey and did things by the law, to the letter. They will pitch actual fits. Those people won’t understand because they believe in crossing vague areas and forcing their way into your space, when they haven’t done their own necessary homework. This may have actually happened to us in our own yard, and we think it definitely applies metaphorically too.
The people who get mad about said boundaries are the ones who were taking advantage of your lack of them in the first place. Stand your ground. Fences are healthy.
You’re allowed to protect our own mental health and hard-earned space.
10. Diversity is Important.
What you grow helps support other things in the garden. Your garden also supports your neighbor’s garden. It’s all connected. The bees are attracted to the flowers that help more bloom, and even though I wanted to run away from cicada killers last summer because they were absolutely terrifying, I decided to research and I found that they’re actually good for your yard. Who knew? I just didn’t go outside for a whole week. Yes, even if they’re as big as your hand and flying at your face, you really shouldn’t kill them. Remember that thing about the birds? They eat seeds from your neighbor’s yard and bring them into yours. Gardens would be boring if they all contained the same thing. My goal is to plant more elements in our garden as we go along.
It helps to do a little research before jumping to conclusions. Diversity in a garden {and in life} can be good for your soul. Being open to the things you may not be too crazy about {like cicada killers} in your garden may actually be beneficial to you in the long run. They may be helping you, and you don’t even realize it. Staying mindful of multiple views can help you practice empathy, and growth as a person. While you can be diligent about ridding your garden of the bad things through weeds and pruning, you can also be open to other elements and as a result add a diverse, healthy array of ‘plants’.
We hope you’ve enjoyed this rendition of life metaphors by a novice gardener. Just like life, I still have so much more to learn, but I’m definitely loving every moment of the highs and lows, in the meantime. It’s a renewal of being amazed by the simple things around us that we may have been missing all along. Because the only thing we really have is being present in the meantime.
Wow, I sound ancient. Back to my stained glass, and yelling at people for driving too fast, I guess. Have an inspired day!
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