Picture day. And all the chaos proceeding thereafter. I need to know. In the history of all ideas, who’s was it to send the kids’ school pictures home with them after the fact? You know… before we’ve even purchased them?
Some marketing genius, sitting in a mansion in the sky, wiping their tears with the money of millions of confused parents, that’s who.
Pics are kind of obligatory, in the grandparent / guilted parental realm. {Merry Christmas. Here’s your obligatory school pic photo in this frame that makes it feel totally official. And ultimately, it also makes me feel like a better parent. Or something.}
And let’s not forget, gone are the days of Olan Mills painful church directory pics. We all know that school photos are the equivalent of that. In an envelope. Brought home by your kid who dramatically proclaims their pic isn’t any good and then leaves it on the counter to be forgotten. Keeping up with piles of things, is not my thing. Surprise.
Necessary disclaimer: This may be a regional thing. Or a southern thing? You may have no idea what I’m talking about, or why the rantings below sound like a woman who’s living on the frayed edge of conscious functioning and rationale. I just Googled Olan Mills, to make sure I was spelling it correctly. I was only making a sarcastic analogy and had no idea Olan Mills owns Lifetouch {the people who send home said photos}. Dead. I need someone to clarify on the whole monopoly.
But let’s back up for a moment. Because here’s how it always goes down at our house: I’m not really a fan of said pics because usually I forgot that it’s picture day in the first place. Until the day of.
Cue me, scrambling to find clean combos of clothes, telling my daughter she can not, in fact, wear her muddy sneakers with that dress {remembertositlikealadydangit while she grabs a pair of shorts to put underneath}. Cutting the talons that my children have now grown on their fingers because they plan to swoop out of the sky and grab baby rabbits residing in the back yard, and taming hair that just can not. EVER. Be tamed on my youngest son’s head. I hope you feel the stress in that gigantic run on, grammatically incoherent paragraph because I really need it to aptly represent how I feel about this entire situation.
The house looks the one that’s destroyed in Twister the movie. When Helen Hunt pulls her Aunt out of the rubble. I need someone to pull me out of the rubble. I call success if they get out the door without toothpaste smeared across their face, and brownie points for homework in tact. #pleasegodlettheteachernothateus
Let alone ready for a picture. As if all that prep work is going to hold until the class’ aforementioned photography time. My kids’ hair is already sticking up like Alfalfa’s and we’re lucky if he keeps his eyes open for said photo. Those flashes are brutal.
In between the taking of the individual school photos and the arrival of said photos, there has been an additional offering for a class photo to be purchased. So that I can feel even more guilty if I don’t fork out fifteen bucks per child for them to bring home a print of their teachers {who we love and adore and treasure more than life itself, letmebeclear} alongside twenty other children’s faces.
Am I supposed to frame it by year and hang it on the wall? Do I light candles and pray? Do I hold on to it? Do I die? What happens?
So after that, when enough time has passed and I’ve already forgotten about the Alfalfa talons toothpaste morning, the offspring that I love more than life itself return home from school one day with their photos in a packet.
…And they’re actually awkwardly adorable. In a frozen-in-time, one-day-we-will-dig-through-these-in-an-old-box-or-put-them-in-your-rehearsal-dinner-slide-show-so-your-friends-can-snicker-at-you, kind of way. Because I’m a parent, and while the people at Lifetouch probably smirk to themselves whilst placing said photos in envelopes {God bless those people} I’m suckered into the need to buy one.
So, I find this obnoxious. Because I fall for it. It’s not the 80’s and I don’t want printed anything until I’m ready to hang it somewhere. I’m already drowning in paperwork and homework and things I’m supposed to hold on to, and permission slips, and children’s art that I secretly throw away when no one is looking {no worries I save the good ones where they proclaim I’m the best mom ever and draw me without a double chin} and building permits.
Do you think I’m going to keep up with photos?
Thus the man in the mansion in the sky, wiping his tears with my hard earned money. They know we won’t keep up with them. It’s all a part of a twisted plan.
So in the middle of completing our basement, spring break, strep throat, a client installation, five different playdates in three days and trying to have a career in the meantime, imagine my panic. When after client work until 8:00 p.m. last night while we tag-teamed homework and felt guilty about not being enough and then made them practice their guitar while eating their organic green beans… {jk I think we had pizza} I receive a reminder email from our teacher kindly requesting the money and or the safe return of said photos.
Or? How about neither. Because I don’t know where they are, I never wanted them, and now I have to a. pay and b. return. What. Adulting is hard.
For starters, where were the photos? I had no idea. I kept moving them around the house, from surface to surface, trying to prevent damage. Remember, we homeschooled for three years, and we haven’t quite cottoned on to the system just yet. I didn’t know if we return them, if we keep a few out of pure guilt because our children are kind of adorable, or if they send giant thug men to your house to beat you up if you don’t send in your check on time.
The answer is probably yes to all of the above.
It was in the middle of this discussion when our second grader asked us where his report card was that he’d brought home two weeks before. Panic was now doubling over on panic. I mean, we barely remembered Easter, how am I supposed to return a report card after it’s been sitting at our home for two weeks? The dogs probably ate it. Seriously people. We do our best.
Then I conjured up a little psychic ability, told my youngest to check a basket downstairs {it was there} and actually located said school photos. All within five minutes without tearing the house apart. Even though I’m pretty sure Rigby {one giant 70 lb dog} slept on them the other night.
I’m getting better at this. It only took one panic attack but I found all the things. I deserve a medal. If you don’t have one, I’ll take a glass of wine and a cupcake.
We purchased some, so I can add it to my forgotten papers collection. With a little less guilt. We’ll start that needless emotion up later when I a. can’t find them again or b. find them again and wonder why I never framed them.
Can’t they just email us the samples with a giant watermark so we can pick? I’d probably misplace that, too.
Oh, and for what it’s worth, we’re two for three. I haven’t found the oldest’s envelope yet. I think the dogs really did eat that one.
Bring on the giant thugs in suits to make us pay up. If you can get past the two boys heavily armed with 105 nerf guns, one screaming girl with a plethora of water balloons and two giant dogs who will absolutely lick them to death.
Here’s to making it through the rest of the school year, until summer.
Because picture day.
Kate says
You NAILED it. Our school district requires us to pay up front so I feel like an ogre if I refuse because then they don’t even get to participate in picture day. (We do first & last day pics for the “frozen in time” experience, and a family shoot every couple of years). This year – true story – youngest son (11) brought home his pics in his trash compactor backpack and they were wrinkled beyond use by the time I got them. Older son (12) decided he didn’t like his teeth so he used a sharpie to “black” them out, thinking it would just look like, what, a cartoon open mouth smile!?! AND slipped them too me casually like he thought I wouldn’t notice. So, goodbye, $36…
@worldsworstflipper says
now that cameras are in our phones and you can see the picture before developing a roll of film, we quit with the school pics. We no longer buy the sheet of 5x7s and wallets that never get sent to anyone. I don’t even know anyone who carries pics in their wallet anymore. But sending home the finals and demanding payment of their return — that’s extortion or entrapment or something akin to racketeering!!
Lindsay says
Yes!!! What you said, times 10.
Dear God, please save me from the school pictures. Now we get them twice a year: prepaid ones in the fall and the extortion ones they send home in the spring. Plus the class picture. And the yearbook. And the best one yet…their artwork from kindergarten that can be put onto a lovely mug or calendar or something because it’s the perfect guilt inducing fundraiser.
I’ve become the master at smiling, saying, “ Aww, that’s cute!” And putting it either back in the folder or trashing the request immediately. Have to because my bank account can’t handle that kind of abuse.
Ironically, I thought I would get a reprieve since we homeschooled last year and this year…but since my kiddo is in their music program the fundraiser requests keep sneaking their way into my house.
Thank you for keeping it real.
Sincerely,
A mom who still tells her 11 yr old daughter, “ummm, you might want to find a brush before ya leave the house. Just saying.”
MomofTwoPreciousGirls says
Oh no, they do a huge art show where they display all the kids’ work matted and framed, which they then sell for $25! That’s in addition to a different art piece they try to put on a calendar, notebooks or trivets! I usually buy the framed art for the grandma’s Mother’s Day gifts 😂
Beth Miller says
I let my girls wear what they want for picture day so it reflects their personal style at the time! This year was the year of the scarf. My oldest is obsessed with wearing a scarf and now it’s a memory preserved in school pictures! I order a digital copy for $15 and add it to my Chatbook and Google photos. Done.
MomofTwoPreciousGirls says
So when my kids were in daycare they had professionals come in and take photos. They ensured the children looked perfect, took individual shots and sibling shots, and offered a cd with dozens of photos for like $40. They were always adorable. Often they included test shots that the kids just looked too cute in. I did do both kids first kindergarten pics for nostalgia (keep in mind our school does fall (90 degrees in GA) and Spring (ALSO 90 degrees in GA) pics!
Every time they bring home the pics they look a mess. Even if I meticulously style their hair they manage to have strands standing up. This last time they sent a survey and I was like when I took pictures they gave us combs and mirrors and made sure we looked presentable. I’m not paying $60 for pics with their hair standing on end!
So, the key is, the pics come home in Friday folders. I view them and immediately know I don’t want them, so I put them right back in the folder with a sticky that says no thank you. That way they know I saw it and don’t send it back again, they stay in a stiff place so they don’t get ruined and I don’t have to panic about losing them!
maureen hughes says
Exactly! Well put! Even in the dark ages, before the printed pictures, (my kids are 30 plus), Olan Mills has BAD memories for me. They would take the pictures, show them to you on a screen. I prided myself with just getting the the free 5 by 7 or 8 by 10… The tactics I will NEVER forget were ” Well, we’re going to throw the pictures away. Do you want pictures of your baby in the trash?” I walked away with the free one only. I forgot to prepare my husband for these questionable sale tactics when he picked up the first pictures of our son. He bought the entire package–$35–a lot of money 39 years ago- and it was only ONE pose! So we got the 11 by 16, the 8 by 10, the
5 by 7’s, and all wallets, which we probably still have to this day, maybe minus 2 wallets…
Audrey McBride says
Yes, all this! Picture day stresses me out because they have decided to have it right AFTER fall break. Like I’m going to remember to get my kid up on time, dressed nicely and hair combed/teeth brushed when we’re still running on vacation time! Then we repeat this process in the spring. Both times the photos are sent home with my son (likely in hopes that they will be destroyed in his disaster zone backpack or forgotten at home and I just pay out the $$). I’ve gotten much better at glancing at them and sending them right back to school. Recent years the photos have such unnatural smiles that I can’t justify holding onto something else to gather dust in some far corner of the house. I’d rather sneak in a small photo session when the kids are already dressed up anyway (like around the holidays) and frame that for the wall. Last year, I used a Christmas tree lot for the background – a couple close up shots among the trees and I could print or email photos to relatives that would want them.
Ashley says
As it turns out, I know quite a bit about this.
My grandparents were school photographers, my father was a school photographer, and at some point all of my aunts and uncles were school photographers. Now my brother in law runs the business, and I was also a school photographer at one point.
Lifetouch actually bought out Olan Mills quite a few years ago. They also own JC Penney studios and quite a few others, including the ones that took your church photos back in the day. As school photography becomes less necessary, even that takes it’s toll, and just two months ago, Shutterfly announced that it was purchasing Lifetouch. It should be final in the next month or so.
Prior to this news, I can say that Lifetouch was actually a company owned by it’s employees. My father was a territory manager, as were my grandparents, and they owned their area and received their retirement in company stock. It was a good plan, until it was time to really reinvent the whole thing since everyone does everything digitally, and then no one wanted to fork over the money to make the necessary changes because they were all at retirement age. So, now shutterfly will own it.
There is no big man in the sky rubbing his face with your money. I agree, as much as anyone, that I’m terrible at actually ordering anything and just get what’s obligatory and necessary to be a decent parent at the end of their childhood.
The package you get is called a “spec” package (vs a prepay, or proof package), and the reason they do that is because your school requests it. Most don’t anymore, actually. It was too much paperwork and too much to get them back at the end of the day. Some principals or school districts still really want it, and since they get a big cut of the money from pictures (20-45%), they request it.
I still look fondly on the idea of school photographers. I love going to help at my girls’ school on picture day and seeing everyone all dressed up in their personal best, teachers running combs through hair, half of your hair in front on one side so you can tell you have some, boys in the line messing with each other while the girls try not to mess up their clothes. I love it. I went to schools 30 years ago and 20 years ago and 10 years ago and last fall. Kids are still who they are.
I am glad to answer any other questions if you have them though.
Tracy says
This is very interesting about Shutterfly buying Lifetouch! My kids’ schools have always used the pre-pay method (with the option for picture retakes if you don’t like the first set). The elementary and middle school use LifeTouch, but the high school uses a local photographer (they use this company for regular school pics, studio and location senior pics, sports pics, as well as promotional photography). Being that I’ve never experienced the spec package method, I’m curious if the cost to buy the pics is higher doing it that way? We generally buy one of the low-cost packages (two 5×7, two 3×4, eight wallets… something like that, for about $24). I display a 5×7 for each child in a single frame with three 5×7 openings.
I really dislike when school sends home sample items for me to buy/sell! And I feel that if I didn’t personally authorize it, I shouldn’t be responsible for it if it gets damaged/lost!
Ashley says
Generally, if it is at the same school, then the prices will be about the same. However, prices are set by school and region-if your school or district bids for a higher percentage, the cost of pictures will be higher so that the company still makes about the same.
Spec are obviously more expensive to print, but the cost of printing isn’t terribly high. It’s the cost of photographers and equipment that are the highest.
I started going through pictures for allowance money while watching movies when I was probably 7 or 8. Lots of parents just stick the money in the spec envelopes, and lots of teachers don’t bother to look, so we’d find numerous of hundreds of dollars in each box of spec pictures.
Theresa says
I had to laugh I can totally relate. The only photos I have ever purchased are some of the sports ones. They seem to be a little better. lol I feel lucky to have the skill of taking photos. & the envelope and scrambling. No outfit prepared…..lol Thanks for sharing at the Inspiration spotlight party. See you again soon. Sharing
star of service avis says
I love these pictures. These are so cute. Every detail is so delightful.