The convo went a little something like this when making plans for the weekend with a friend last night:
Friend: Blah blah blah {I’m making her sound boring here, clearly she’s a blast or we wouldn’t hang out – it just works better for quick dialogue even though I’m now canceling myself out by over-explaining myself – true to form, I’m even awkward on my own website} Yes, Friday works but J has soccer practice first.
Me: I thought the boys were camping out this weekend? {Boys = both of our boys going on a fall camping retreat per my well-organized calendar.}
Friend: That’s next week.
Me: HAHA! Of course I got it wrong.
What can one do at this point but laugh?
Also me: Rolls eyes at self. Awkwardly scribbles out well organized, color-coded calendar because for some reason, it was lost in translation from computer screen to planner.
I’m officially that friend, who always gets it wrong.
I’m what some would call challenged in the numbers department.
At least I didn’t show up a week early, packed and ready to go?
Because I’ve done that before, too.
I realized I had a problem, when we showed up for a funeral, an entire week early. We dressed the kids appropriately, hopped into the car, and made our way to the church where it was held. We had mentally prepared ourselves, as one does for a solemn event, and everything. In retrospect, I can only be oh so glad that said service wasn’t an out-of-town event. {And in my total defense, it was a bit of a unique situation.} Still, I’d failed to see the actual dates, and just assumed the correct one. Yet there we were, circling an empty parking lot like lost birds, looking for a place to land. Expecting to grieve, me checking facebook for the correct info, and the entire family ganging up on me with MOOOOMMMMM while we promptly turned around, and did the drive of shame all the way back home.
Correction: I did the drive of shame while everyone performed the ceremonious shaming. I loved being shamed by my elementary-aged kids.
I blame it on lack of coffee. The weather. The fact that I’m a mother who lost the majority of her brain function well over a decade ago. Even my lady cycle. But I can’t remember dates.
It’s a thing with me, and I’m horrible.
I can tell you several stories from the age of three. I recall what my friends wore to the homecoming dance our junior year of high school and I remember that bully a-la math class in middle school. But for some reason, I’m losing it in the dates and numbers department.
Birthdays sneak up on me, and I can’t keep up with schedules. JEHOSEPHAT help us with homework and test schedules. I can barely keep up with our own agenda, let alone other people. Games, parties, camping trips, dentist appointments… apparently adulting is a challenge for me. There’s honestly a reason I made an entire planner and offer it yearly on our website – because writing things down makes me feel better. {And also I’m an eternal nerd.} But really, I’m starting to think I’m losing my ever loving mind.
Is this normal? Does it get worse with age, quantified by the number of activities your children are participating in, multiplied by the number of children one has, doubled by sheer ability to keep up with life and divided by extended familial pressure and social expectations? Multiplied by the tenth power.
If you can tell, I was never good at math, either.
I blame you, bully-in-math-class {He totes peaked in middle school, btw.}
My mom constantly reminds me of her own schedule. I’m like an invalid woman, whom she calls up regularly to remind: “Ashley, we’ll be out of town this week, I just wanted you to remember that.” I’m pretty sure she gave up on me recently, and just went out of town and didn’t tell me. I get it, the effort was officially futile. I’m a lot. But I know that this time, she didn’t tell me, even though there’s no point in bringing it up because she’ll tell me that she told me. And I probably did forget… or did I? It’s pretty bad when my own mother is giving up on me. {She didn’t tell me.}
I think it’s just my inability to remember numbers. Thus my closely related problem of being bad at math. Some numbers, are etched into my brain. Probably because I’m not an auditory learner, and I need images or things to associate them with. Therefore, I remembered. Therefore, my planner. Others are literally lost on me, unless I check my lists and calendars multiple times a day.
I’m one step away from a potty training chart with stickers. Good job! You got it right! ::rewards self at end of week with pan of brownies and entire bottle of wine:: {no, one brownie just isn’t enough. Stop looking at me, swan.}
If you remember this little snippet from our last coffee talk, Jamin really wasn’t kidding.
I read a thriller recently where this lady was basically ganged up on by her bff and her husband. They made her forget dates and that she thought she was losing her mind. So I’m documenting it all here, in case it’s all a trick {because my own mom is apparently in on it, too} and I end up on Nancy Grace. It would be an epic self-induced life fulfilling prophecy, after all.
No, I basically won’t accept responsibility for being a clueless moron when it comes to all things planning. At least I can make it look pretty? ::pats self on head after eating entire pan of brownies – take that, bully who peaked in middle school::
I can barely remember the names of my kids’ teachers this year. GOD HELP US if one of them loses a tooth. In the meantime, I’ll be furiously scribbling things in my planner while Jamin politely asks for the umpteenthousanth time that I join the 21st century, and just use my phone for the loveofallthingsholy. I’m starting to look a bit strung out a-la Doc from Back to the Future and I’ll now have strings tied to my fingers. In the meantime, I’ll be blaming it on the fact that I’m eccentric {read: secretly a genius – shhh just go with it} buried in my work, and try to survive from here.
I’m basically what my grandmother would call born in the middle of the week, looking both ways for Sunday.
Wait. Was that her nice way of calling someone ugly?
So this is me confessing, hoping someone else out there feels the same way.
Just remember, if you’re having a bad day… at least you didn’t show up an entire week early at someone else’s funeral. You’re always welcome to come join me and my pan of brownies. But you’re definitely going to have to bring your own.
Save the date.
Kate Jaco says
This speaks to me on a deep level…the pretty planners always suck me in (cough cough Erin Condren’s 25% off sale this week sucked up a lot of my online browsing time last week) but I NEVER use them. I want to be organized so badly but just can’t…I hope to be a better planner one day but until then…I’ll show up early/late/unprepared/overprepared, etc.
Brie says
I was nodding along and smiling at everything you wrote! I feel like I used to be so good at all the details but somehow having kids squeezed out whatever brain space I had for such stuff! Even if I do write stuff down (which feels like the only fighting chance to remember stuff!), I still forget to *look at my planner* … and I love the idea of a pan of brownies and wine. I’ll be there virtually … if I remember. š
Ashley G says
This is me to a āt.ā I have bought the gorgeous planners but I canāt find one that works for me and one I will consistently use. And yes, my mama still tries to give me their schedule with doctors appts and Iām all āI canāt keep up with my own much less yours and daddyās 2.5 hours away.ā But I try!!
Kayley says
Aaaaahahahahahahaha! I feel like Iām losing my mind this week and this is just what I needed! I forgot my sons lunch and a hair appointment. THANKYOU for always being so funny and real!
Vera says
With three kids, I live in constant fear that I forget something. And they gang up on me too! š (And they are right, sadly…)
Did you give up coffee for good or is it more like a temporary challenge? I can’t imagine my mornings and after-lunch time without this ritual, although I think about quitting too. Tell me more! š
ashley @ the handmade home says
Hey Vera! I gave it up with Jamin, cold turkey for about two weeks. This is not impressive, because it’s already back in my life. HA! It was because we were bleaching our teeth but also because I just felt like I was consuming way too much of it – some in the morning and some in the afternoon. I have endometriosis and know that too much caffeine can trigger some of the symptoms. I basically did a cleanse and have slowly worked it back in. I was also an impossible grumpybutt for a little while as I was truly addicted. It felt good to cleanse the system but I also realized how much more productive I am with coffee when I worked it back in. All things in moderation, so it’s now back. ;}
Vera says
Good for you! Hope cutting back will help your symptoms as well.
Btw a 2010 link came up at the end of your fall post and I have just realised that I’ve been a loyal reader for quite some time now! Thanks for the inspiration — your aesthetics actually helped a lot when we moved to our first house two years ago. We only lived in apartments before this, and the renovation is still ongoing, so it’s good to see that other families do it room by room and project by project too! š