tips for a shared sibling space

Today we’re sharing tips for a shared sibling space. Jennifer wrote in and asked us this, “You guys have done some great things with your home. I really can’t believe that your kiddos have shared a room for this long. It’s impressive. We would like to do the same, but don’t know many people doing this, with two siblings that were opposites. Do you have any advice?” 

Thanks so much for writing in Jennifer! Today, we wanted to share some tips for a shared sibling space. 

Our kids have shared a room, in one configuration or another, since there were three. We had a small break when the youngest was born, and then before we knew it, the boys were bunking together. Literally. 

Then, when we moved into this second house, we waited to renovate the basement, so all three were in what we called the sleeping room, in the meantime. We needed the additional upstairs bedroom for an office/workspace, and it just worked for about a year. 

Once we finished out the basement, the oldest got his own room and the three in one room situation, was whittled down to two. 

So we have a long history of sharing spaces in our household, and honestly… we think it’s built some great character with our kids. 

When they were younger, the whole sharing spaces thing was a total non-issue. No one ever asked why they had to share, and no one complained. They saw it as an adventure. The younger two are now sharing the space, and we have one seventh grader, and one fifth grader. 

It’s still been great. But let’s just say it’s not without challenge. They are to the ages where they have begun to ask, and we think it’s only because they know it’s {hopefully} coming. We’re in the process of gaining permission from our local codes to add another addition onto our house. We hope to be able to share more about that soon.

The grand plan is that the upstairs level of our 1976 fixer upper {you can see a recent tour here + the entire process here} will be the kids’ space. They can also have the basement with lots of space to entertain friends. And we’ll move into the master on the other side of the house. 

But that brings us to a grand total of at least twelve {maybe thirteen} years of some form of sharing a space with another sibling, in some configuration or another, by the time we’re done.

So today, with that brief history out of the way, we’re sharing our best tips for a shared sibling space. 

Make it special

We gave them plenty of warning that they would be sharing rooms in this new home, and no one seemed to mind. They complain a little now that they’re older, but honestly, we don’t think they’ll be able to sleep without the other. {Rooms are scary. Especially in the dark.} So We made sure that it was a room that even though shared, reflects them. 

a sentimental addition: Jamin’s mom made this cape for him when he was little. Now it hangs in their room.

How to frame a cape

They helped choose items, {we’ll have more of that below} and we incorporated fun colors and patterns that add so much personality. How can they not help but love their space? They have fun in here, and when their room feels like a retreat, it’s really a non-issue. We loved that it didn’t lean to one gender or the other, but just stayed fresh and bright with the basics, onto which they can add their own personal touch.

Give them their own spaces

Even within the shared space, we think it’s important for them to have their own little areas. We’re not talking about pieces of tape down the middle a-la the Brady Bunch, but we do think having their own little areas have helped. It’s helped to establish “zones”  in the area, so that they have their own room, along with common areas that they know are shared, like the desk in the middle. It’s a simple configuration, but it helps them get along.  

Divide clothing into Zones 

This kind of goes along with their own space kind of thing, but we do think it’s worth mentioning here. They have certain drawers assigned to them for clothing, along with baskets. It really helps keep their belongings separate and avoids future conflicts.

We think it also helps that their large closet {once divided into two smaller ones} where we knocked out the wall, helps combine the areas, so it feels like one big walk through/common area. But even inside that, we’ve included their own spaces. This helps them know what belongs to whom, and they also know it’s their responsibility to keep it straight. 

Again it’s the little touches that have made this room feel more special + fun. 

Let them add their own touches

These photos are the tidied up version of their room. But I can guarantee you, that they have their own special touches in the space. From basketball trophies and 4-h blue ribbons, to special photos with friends and family, favorite books, legos and 8-balls… we’ve let them spread out and add beyond the initial decor. It’s important that they feel like the room is their own. We even let them choose the light, and they loved this one because it looked like the death star, according to our three star wars fans. 

So we’ve definitely let them add their own touches, and they love it. 

Have rules 

We know that every household is different, but there are rules at our house. They prevent issues down the line. For instance, if one wakes up before the other in the morning, they’re to do everything within their power to be very quiet and leave the room. There are no screens allowed, and when friends are over, they need to respect the other siblings’ side of the room. 

art available here

Little things that work within your own family are probably pretty important, and may take some adjustments as you go. For instance, quarantine has been especially fun, and a little bit of a challenge with children on edge. The other morning brother woke sister up, and we had to have another talk about what it means to walk softly. That can sometimes be a challenge, especially on hardwoods. 

Bonus: have another space for them to retreat to. 

We showed you the finished basement earlier. This definitely helps when they can split up into their own respective spaces. We see their rooms as a place to sleep, but one kiddo always ends up dominating, while the other retreats downstairs. It helps to have another space so they’re not feeling “stuck together” all the time. 

Thanks so much for tuning in today – we know our set up isn’t conventional but it’s worked for us, in the meantime. Wish us luck on building that addition – we should hear back soon, and we’ll be sharing more.

Let us know if you have any questions!

Check out our original post on the actual space, here.

Have an inspired day!