buy the ugly crocs
He stood under the shoe rack in that overcrowded store, literally salivating at his find. He jumped up and down excitedly, his hair flopping about and his arms folded slightly against his body, ready to pounce as soon as I could grab what he wanted. I checked all the sizes on the cattywampus hooks that kept falling on top of me every time I tried to get a better look at the size in the back. We’d told him he could pick whatever he wanted, and we meant it.
And just my luck, there was a great little end cap of character-bedazzled crocs as we’d crossed the store to find a cute pair of shoes I had in mind. But these were glaring us down as we passed by. I sucked in my breath a little, almost willing his big brilliant blue eyes to unsee the abomination before us.
Because in my world, the only thing uglier than crocs, are character crocs. Big, glaring characters that mock me from their place of pride taking up valuable real estate for cuter things on my children’s clothing, that glow in the dark and sparkle and do all kinds of crazy things and kind of clash with every single outfit imaginable. In my world, character crocs are the clothing equivalent to blobfish. On your feet.
I know. Poor blobfish. This photo kind of makes me want to gag. And fine, maybe I am being a little dramatic. They’re my pet peeve of clothing choices.
They didn’t have his size, and I caught myself breathing a sigh of relief. And then I realized that I wasn’t getting off that easy when I looked down at his little face that was now turned to the floor. His sweet lip poking out, and not in a bratty way. He was genuinely disappointed. Our youngest, the one who always gets his brother’s hand-me-downs, the laid back, go with the flow littlest who never really gets excited, or high maintenance about anything… he really wanted those R2D2 Crocs.
May the force be with us all.
{One of our traditions on their birthday, is filling their room up with balloons while they sleep. When he woke up on his birthday morning, he was so excited he covered his bed in them}
So for his birthday, Jamin and I hopped online and found him a pair of those silly shoes. The only thing he really wanted. The one thing that makes me cringe every time I see them. And his face. That little face when he opened that little present…
He was so excited, and I realized, it was our favorite gift to give him.
Even though I hate them.
Because there is an immense joy in that moment. When the kids were younger, I was a little bit of a control freak. I still am. Shocker, I know. Parenthood is the hardest thing we’ll ever do.
But if I could give the younger me some advice from the time they were born… I would sit the younger me down and tell her a few things. But mainly this:
Buy the ugly crocs.
Blink, and they’re older… and you suddenly realize maybe the things you’ve focused on all this time, aren’t as important as you think. Like, characters on their shirts. And stuffed animals on their floor. And gargatuan lego cities under their beds.
The things I said I’d never do, as a parent, are some of the very best that I actually can.
And isn’t life that way? Because at the end of the day when I look back at my journey with my children as a mother… what will I remember? What will really matter?
Don’t miss my message. Because it’s not really about the crocs. Or any thing for that matter. It’s just stuff. No, it’s not up to me to make their childhoods ‘magical’ or a slew of other latest trendy posts I can find on Pinterest that kind of make me feel bad about my parenting choices… It’s more about how I make them feel. How sometimes, I can really get over myself, to meet their needs. Even if it’s something silly like a pair of ugly crocs.
And it just comes down to what we will remember. From our time together as a family.Â
Because these are the building blocks for the rest of their lives.Â
I’ll remember that sometimes, we like to do the homeschool thing completely nekkid. {She’s wearing skivvies}
It may annoy us, but it makes her happy.
That some days, are the best when the bed is unmade, and we all pile in and watch a movie. I like the bed made, but they like to snuggle.
That bed will always need to be made. We won’t always get to snuggle.
Bedheads and ginormous contraptions with legos, are where the best creativity can be found.
And you’re never ever too big…
for pillow forts.
Especially puppy-filled pillow forts.
Life is short.
And this isn’t about guilt. Or sadness. Or what I should or shouldn’t be doing as a parent.
Yes, growing up has a bittersweet tang about it. The kind of emotion that catches in your throat and makes it burn when you try to choke it back. You wake up one day, and they’re 6. {Don’t even get me started on the soon-to-be ten year old-I know it only gets worse in the accelerated growth department.} It literally brings me joy and pains my heart all at the same time. I’ll have my moments of sadness and nostalgia and choke up over photos and sweet memories… but I won’t pine away for their younger years, either.
Their childhoods are over in a blink.
But I also get to watch who they’re becoming, and be a part of this journey with them.
Not everyone gets to do that.
The way I see it, I have three choices: I can mourn the past… I can worry about the future… or I can do my best to be present. As much as I possibly can.
It’s that delicate place of being present that we so often miss.
Fully present.
That doesn’t mean I won’t struggle with the rest. But I know I won’t look back on their childhoods, or even at this website and think… man, I really should have cleaned up/worn cuter clothes/had better things/done more… fill-in-the-blank-here.
We’re imperfect. We’re going to blow it. I’m still holding my breath, wondering what the memoirs are that they’ll write… I can just hope they choose flattering pics for their books and embrace my role as the person who ruined their lives. I’ll certainly pay for their psychotherapist and throw them a book party.
So for now, when they want to wear that silly Jango Fett costume to the store, I let them. When they want to leave their lego creations out on the floor, even though I wanted them to clean, I’ll remember that they’re memories… more than messes. And when they want those uglyasheck crocs that make me want to throw up in my mouth a little, but I realize how much they really love them… I’ll let them wear them.
Because these are the things we will remember. And maybe I can get over myself.
So if I could go back in time and tell myself one thing that I’d like to grasp sooner?
Life is short.
Buy the ugly crocs.
You will grow to love those Crocs! I miss my kid’s Croc days. Even though I agree they are ugly! They are easy to slip on and off, comfy and you can wipe them clean. Perfect summer shoe for kids!
So true Jolie! They’ve already grown on me a little over the years… even the character ones. ;}
The perfect Blog to start my day. Be yourself, love life, don’t stress, enjoy the moment, and just LOVE. That’s all I can say. Thank you for posting.
So true, Chrissy! Thank you for stopping by! ;}
You know they might not be the most appealing shoes in the world, but I wear crocs too! Crocs are so comfortable and there are so many choices. I think they are great for kids and adults!!!
Haha! They’ve grown on me! ;}
Thank you so much for this article! As a mother and now grandmother, I whole heartedly agree and hope that someone will get the “permission” from this article to “buy the ugly crocs!” There is so much we have to control in our children’s lives to keep them safe, little things like this mean the world to them and he will remember those R2D2 crocs and how you made sure he had them many years from now.
You’re so right! If I could go back I would do even more of this. ;} Working on it day by day!
Love this! I taught crafts at VBS and a little girl told me she really wanted light up shoes but her mom told her they “were rediculous”. I was so struck by that. I thought to myself, “She can still sit in your lap–buy the stupid light up shoes!” Because you see, I didn’t buy them. My girls are teenagers and don’t sit in my lap anymore. I should’ve bought them. But I did buy the ugly Crocs. And the jibbits. Thanks for this post!
Awe, so true Karmen! And hurray for those horrible horrible Jibbets! ;}
I simply love this!! It is so true right now with my kiddos.
HAHA! Good to know we’re not alone!
Amen. Perfect.
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Awww, come on Mom, can’t you see just a little bit of cute in those crocs?? Bet you can when they are on his little feet! Yay for you for finding them for him.
HAHA! Actually, once he put them on and proudly modeled them in his pajamas {Is there anything cuter than a kid in pajamas?!} I was smitten. They are adorable on his feet. and I am completely wrapped around his little finger ;}
You’re right on the mark. It’s not about the ugly Crocs (we have several pairs of them strewn around the house). They are SO comfy. : )
But aside from the wacky shoes, it’s all about focusing on being PRESENT and making every moment count. And that’s hard to do. Oh, how I know. It’s so easy to preach the sermon and then fall short — really short — of being fully in the moment.
Truth be told: there are moments when I really DON’T want to be fully ANYwhere. Is that so bad? God, I hope not!
With two boys — 15 and 20. OMG….15 and 20! It’s scary sometimes. Driver’s Ed, High School, College, College Tuition, Girl Friends, Career Choices. Oy! Need I say more?
But…it’s all part of that crazy timeframe called LIFE. So…time to pull up our big-people pants and make the very most/best of every day.
The days are long; but the years are short. Ain’t that the truth?
HAHA YES! Sometimes I struggle with being ANYWHERE! Amen to all of it!
Ashley, you are so right…and a good Mama! They DO grow up in a blink (another one of my four kids is getting married this fall) and it seems like yesterday he was building forts, wearing crazy combos and playing Legos. He still loves Legos… Thanks for speaking from the heart. I love your blog! One of my daughters lives in Nashville so if you get to relocate there, maybe someday we’ll meet!
Awe thank you for the kind words, Jane. And yes so true! Can’t wait to meet you – I look forward to it! ;}
Very sweet and thoughtful write-up. Your wisdom is showing. I’m 61, mother of 4, grandmother of 10, and I find so much joy in your site. What you say is spot on, let the little stuff slide when you can, live in the moment with purpose. Thanks for your reminders for us all and your insight into what really matters and makes happy memories.
Awe thank you so much for the kind words, Jacquelyn! ;}
Thanks for writing this. We had the exact same situation with Power Ranger underwear. But, fear not! The Rangers now adorn my 7-year-old’s behind! =D LIFE IS SHORT!
HAHA! YAY power rangers!
Love this post!! As parents, and adults, it’s hard sometimes to just let go and let the kids buy the silly shirt/shoes/whatever, build the fort, leave legos and baseball card “projects” out for days end. Those are the little things that are important to them at that moment, and those are the things they are going to remember. My boys built a pillow and blanket fort in the middle of our living room last week, and slept in it for two nights, they thought it was the best thing ever!!
Steph
That’s so true. And how quickly we forget!
As a woman who schlepped a 5 ft lawn ornament reindeer across a mall on her back to make the dreams of her 3 year old come true, I fully support this post. I don’t make every wish my command, nor do I think that is a good idea, but when a kid who never asks for much really likes something and you can afford it without too much trouble, go for it. You can only make their wildest dreams come true for a little while. That 3 year old is now 15. She kept the deer in her bedroom as a nightlight for a year, and then in the basement with her toys for another year. We pull it out every Christmas still. I felt crazy that day, but she still believes her dreams can come true, even with the onset of teenage ennui. And I think that makes the crazy moment worth it. Because the kid is sure she can be an astrophysicist. Thank you hungry deer.
Great post!
The Other Marian
I love this, Marian. Perfect.
I love this! Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you, Janice!
I was totally the same way as you. Thinking my children will NOT be wearing lame character tees and ugly shoes that don’t match anything. Now, I’m lucky if I can peel the Thomas, Peanuts, Curious George…you get the picture…off my 3 year old! Hey! He is excited to get dressed now and Old Navy does character tees in a good way and he puts his ugly crocs on all by himself! 🙂
I think we should buy some stock in those Old Navy Character tees. One of my favorites to this day was the Mr Men and Little Miss that Gap Kids brought back a few years ago, {remember those books?} and one of them had MR MESSY on the front. We wore the threads out of that shirt, and then little brother wore it some more. Adorable. Well done, indeed!
Elmo sweatpants. That had to be cut off into shorts. That lived on my eldest son’s body until they eventually just rotted off. Now he is 6’3″, 19, university & working, going out with friends, driving away from me….and the sweatpants are one of the sweetest things I remember about that time when he was little. When his hand had dirty nails from the garden and it still fit in mine. Build the forts.
Precious, Dharma!
This was a perfect read for me today! Thank you.
You are blessed to learn this now, before you have two in college!! Thankfully, I still have three more at home to “do better.” And you have no idea how I needed this today, in the midst summer messes and chaos. The Crocs, the pillow forts and the stuffed animals. All my enemies. But I promise to “buy the Crocs” this summer. Thank you, wise one!