It’s funny how we never really see big changes coming.
This post is a difficult one to write… so bear with us. {Bare? Would that make me naked? How embarrassing. Bear it is, then.}
I mean, we think we do.
We like to think, as humans, that we have it all figured out. That we’re in control. I can see my plans on the horizon, and I know exactly where they fit in my life. It’s comforting. It’s how I cope. I’m a rule follower and I have all the little puzzle pieces sitting prettily in the distance. When they happen, I know exactly how they’ll work in my life. Things need to make sense in our world.
If I do what I’m supposed to do, all my plans and preparation will work out. Right?
Someone slap me in the face with a rule book of life and a nice side of reality, because this isn’t a one-size-fits-all kinda gig.
Suddenly we’re thrown for a loop, and I’m scrambling as if I’m playing a childhood game of ‘Perfection’. Sorting things out, quickly before that timer goes off. I’m ineptly wondering how things will work. “This isn’t how it was supposed to look,” we’ll literally mumble to ourselves, trying to see how it all fits, gawking at the ill-fitting yellow pile of different shapes sitting before us.
The thing is, we’re not in control. And has anyone ever defeated ‘Perfection’?
Has anyone really cared to?
Be brave with your life – via
This story starts with Once Upon a Time. Like all good stories do.
Jamin and I were married in August of 2002. College sweethearts, we just knew. {Which really translates to we were really young and stupid and marriage is, duh, hard… and we were a part of a covenant bigger than us.} A few short months later, he was offered the youth ministry position at a church just 45 minutes down the road from Auburn University in a little city called Montgomery, Alabama. And it was wonderful. We were young and in love and this was our life.
And they lived happily ever after.
I {naively} thought this was it.
Smetimes you win, sometimes you learn- via
There are seasons in life, and often Jamin and I joked that we were already entering our mid-life crisis, five years too soon. It’s scary how quickly things happen. You wake up one morning, and you’re facing reality in the form of three offspring and a mortgage and your life maybe isn’t exactly how you saw it happening. First world problems, I know. But eleven years have passed and I have no idea where they went. It’s true what they say: don’t blink. Your own life really will flash before your eyes.
The first little yellow puzzle piece that came unexpectedly, was the decision to home school. With that decision, I felt our world shifting. Two years ago, I remember sitting on the phone as I basically cried to my mom. ‘Is this how it’s supposed to look?’ I asked, perplexed and helpless, feeling sorry for myself… we were exhausted and dealing with exhausted children. We were trying to do too much. Our life, our home, our lifestyle… was too much. Where we were in our situation… It felt wrong, for us, personally. I didn’t like where we were headed as a family.
Then we asked the question: What if we tried to change it, because we felt a push?
Jamin and I would joke that eleven years ago, we should have been completely irresponsible taken a little time off to be carefree somewhere like Hawaii as waiters, living on tips and love, walks in the rain, cheesy songs, and all things silly movies that sound completely stupid romantic. Even though we know it’s unrealistic. We were so eager to dive into what we thought we were ‘supposed’ to do.
We never considered anything else.
And then we asked ourselves this question: Any version of a life less ordinary… a simplified life that truly goes against the grain… One that believes in hard honest work, no matter what it takes… is unrealistic according to who’s standards? We realized it wasn’t so much about the Hawaii part (yes, it would be amazing and I admire people who live there) as much as seeking something truly different for our family.
Make your own path – via
Let me be very clear: The past 11+ years… this is where we needed to be. Then we slowly made little choices that led us in a different direction. It was still a part of a plan. But it molded us into who we are.
An education is never wasted. This has been an amazing part of our life. God has done some incredible things that we never considered in ministry. And he will continue to. It’s taught us more than we ever imagined, and we’ve grown in ways we never thought possible. We’ve been in His hands, and while it’s easily the hardest thing we have ever done, we were a part of something much bigger than us.
But we had a vision for our family, and our marriage and our lives. In the past two years, we’ve really sought after what we thought was a little off the beaten path, because we felt ourselves pushed that way. We felt things changing, and we felt ourselves pushed to go beyond, and pursue what we felt was needed. To follow where He’s leading us.
Because when you answer a push and a call, it’s still to be a part of something much bigger. Even if it’s not what some may consider ‘the norm’. Even if it’s not what you saw coming.
We feel like things have been placed in our life to prepare us for this moment in time. And finally, we’ve been given a gentle push… to make sure we’re listening.
Sometimes you have to say no to something perfectly good… to say yes to something amazing. Last week, Jamin officially resigned from his position at the church here, in Montgomery. A place that has been our home and our church home… all we have ever known in our married life for 11.5 years.
For 1/3 of our lives.
That 1/3 part… It kind of blows our minds a little.
People resign, and switch jobs all the time. We know this is nothing new. But we’ve decided it’s time to turn the page to the next chapter. What is the next chapter? We’re not sure. And we like it. But we know that we’ve decided to just go for it. So we’re working together, full time at The Handmade Home. Building something that is a part of our vision for our family.
It’s a little bit of a change, because we will be reformatting a few things in our lives. But we’re excited about the possibilities. We’re excited about living out a real dream.
Why are we sharing this? You guys may not know us personally. Most of you do not. But we do feel like you’re a part of this story. An essential part. And we’re stepping out to continue down this little path.
It’s not where we ever saw ourselves going at this time. It’s an unexpected, yellow puzzle piece and we’re not sure where it fits. But it’s a path that’s being illuminated, one step at a time by something much bigger than our own plans. And we’re thrilled for what that means for our family. And for our marriage.
It’s a part of our unexpected vision, and we’re faithfully terrified, to use the words of a good friend, because we’re totally dependent on His direction. It was time for a change. And for the first time ever, we’re ready to give this our all.
The ironic part? In a way, this is our little Hawaii.
In a way, this is our little adventure that we still secretly held onto. But to us, this is much more exciting, because we know it’s a part of a master plan. A plan that isn’t ours. That puzzle piece we thought we had a grasp on… and now they’re all up in the air with that timer.
It’s a beautiful little crazy ill-fitting puzzle piece.
Good thing I can relax a little… Because I was always terrible at ‘Perfection’ anyway.
Maybe you’re on the edge like us.
Maybe it’s not a career change, but a school change. Or a home change. Or a change in direction… a little choice that will add up to make the big picture for you later. Maybe it’s not where you saw yourself, ever. Maybe you want to have a vision for your family, and change the direction. Maybe no one understands. Maybe you’re taking a risk. Maybe it’s not what you saw coming, at all.
But maybe you feel a push – okay, a shove – like we have.
If you’ve ever felt it… you know it’s exciting and scary and thrilling and terrifying and downright painful. It hurts. Change is difficult but change is beautiful when it’s a part of something amazing.
Also? You’re not stepping out alone, if it’s in faith. And that’s the most important part of the story.
Life can take us by surprise. It can be a reality check, and it can be unexpected. And sometimes it can be the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to us.
In the form of a little Hawaii.
Listen to the push.
You never know where it will take you.
Deanna says
How exciting! It is a journey following His leading, but He’ll never lead you anywhere He hasn’t purposed is for your good/growth.
Full time ministry of any kind is so challenging, even if you love it! With a young family it can be so stressful to balance needs.
Keep looking to Him to direct your steps.
Deanna
ps – I am a recent follower of your blog, and I find it very inspirational and enjoyable!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so very much, Deanna! So very true! You are too sweet ;}
B says
Praying that God will continue to guide you where He wants you both to be. There’s another blog I follow, Chatting at the Sky by Emily Freeman, and their family made a similar decision last year (?). Anyway, if you don’t already read her, you may want to look her up. Blessings to you and your family. I’m sure many lives have been touched by your ministry already … and many more through your future ministry in whatever form that will take.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much, B. Yes, I love Emily, and her sister! ;} I actually remember reading that post last year. I couldn’t agree more with you about ministry and its many forms. SO true. ;} Thank you.
Summer Hogan says
Congrats on this new step, you guys are going to do great things…you already do! Can’t wait to see where this takes you! A faithful reader 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thanks, sweet Summer! You are too kind. ;}
emna @ {from my little pink couch} says
So brave to answer that push!!!!!! Enjoy your Hawaii!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Emna! Ps. You have the coolest name ever.
emna @ {from my little pink couch} says
Emna would be the coolest name ever … however, it’s a typo! Hahaha! I’m just a plain ole Emma!
Lauren S says
Your blog is my happy spot….I’m so glad that there might be even more things to come from it! Ministry takes shape in so many forms…..it sounds like y’all will still minister to people…it may just look a little different:)
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Lauren.
Beth M. says
I am so excited for y’all! I feel like I know you since we have mutual friends, and I’ve been following for so long. That makes us friends, right? 😉
Many blessings on this journey, and good for you for listening to Him! I’ve felt a gentle nudging from Him recently so I know how easy it is not to listen. I’m afraid my gentle nudging will turn into a full blown push if I resist much longer!
Can’t wait to see what lies ahead for The Handmade Home! Love y’all!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Beth. And Absolutely! Yes… listen to that push. Before you know it, you’ll be going off a cliff. ;} But it’s pretty. With lots of water at the bottom so you can make an awesome splash.
I love metaphors.
Jeanne says
Ashley and Jamin, I am excited to follow you as you take these next steps on your life’s journey. I was worried when I started reading this post, but as I read on, I realized you are taking your leap of faith, following that quiet, nudging presence in your lives and you wanted to share it with us, your readers. I have moments lately when I’ve been feeling a little lost. Call it the blues (hopefully not TMI, but I’ve weaned my last baby recently so the hormones are in flux), call it the promises of summer and not enough time to stop and smell the roses, whatever. I have posted before about how I want to make our house work FOR us rather than against us. I recently bought a copy of The Nester’s book and her words are resonating with me. I am fearful. Making changes in our home frightens me. Why? Who knows. I need to take that leap of faith. Follow my own voice. Make my own time. Full time job be darned. House full of “bored” kids be darned (btw, do your kids drive you nuts with the “I’m bored” stuff even when it’s gorgeous outside and they could be wreaking havoc OUTSIDE??). Anyway, I’m rambling. Just wanted to pop in and say I’m sticking with you two (or five) on your journey. I can’t wait to see where it takes us!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Jeanne!
DeeAnna Child says
I’m new to your blog (found some things on pinterest and I was pulled in! Can we be neighbors?), but I loved your post today, it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. My husband has decided to go after his doctorate degree, something he’s had as a goal since high school, but it’s different now that we’re 14 years married, five kids and a mortgage! But as scary as it is to think about, I’ve felt incredible peace from God, too. Can I share something I read recently? I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, (Mormon!), I know you’re not but are a fellow Christian so I’d like to share this with you in the spirit of Christianity. In a revelation to our prophet Joseph Smith, Christ said, “for thou hast inquired of me and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instructions of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time.” It hit me like a ton of bricks that God has led us to where we are, and I’m sure He has led you, too. Congrats (and prayers) on taking the jump!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, DeeAnna ;}
Sherry@BayviewCreations says
Good luck!!
We know the feeling. My husband just left his job of 12 years, working for his brother in law’s family business. He decided to branch out on his own and do what makes him happy. In the end our family will be happier. It is a scary and exciting time!! But you never know until you try! 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
Congratulations, Sherry! That is awesome and thank you!
Kelsey says
Ashley I’m so happy for your family!!! This is a leap that I SO worth taking. Think golf that song by Hillsong…Oceans. He’s called you out upon the water…the great unknown. This is a faith walk and y’all will do amazing! @caseywiegand did the same thing when her hubby came home…followed his God-nudge and stepped out in faith. It worked out amazing for them and it will for you too! Jamin’s posts on DIY are so e that I have referred to many different times. So informative but without being annoyingly detailed! I’m so excited for more of those!! God bless you guys in this new season. He has a plan that we can’t see…it’s a good plan. 🙂
ashley @ the handmade home says
HA! He will be so happy to know those are helpful! I am thrilled to have him full time on board. It’s been a little crazy over here trying to balance so many things, but he loves it and is so thrilled to do this full time. Thank you for the sweet reminders.
Fara says
I was also worried when I started reading this post. At first, I thought it was a goodbye post, and I honestly would really really miss you guys! I am also craving and planning a big life change in the next 18 months, and seeing some of my favorite people do it helps me know it is possible. I love your insight posts. I love how real and raw they can be. I just want to reach across the internets and give you a big hug.
Auburn is one of my favorite places. I moved away in 2002 after 7 years. Such a beautiful little town, and a wonderful school! War Eagle!
ashley @ the handmade home says
WAR EAGLE, Fara! Hang in there – it will be here before you know it. Thank you so much for your sweet words! This post was so hard to write, I realized after the fact that I may have given that impression. Whelp, maybe it helped people realize they either love us… or not! HA! ;} Until we’re pushed in another direction… we plan to be here a while.
Erika Bloyer says
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this.
Rose L. says
I know full well what you mean. My husband passed Nov 10, 2012 after 6 years of painful medical problems and dementia. He was 56. My world was suddenly changed. Now I am facing putting my home on the market and a vast change. I know it is right to do, but it is also scary.
Beckyjbfuelling says
I have just recently started to follow your blog. I enjoy it very much. I wish you all the best in whatever changes come to your family. Your faith will get you though it. My family is changing too as we send our youngest off to college soon and prepare to be empty nesters. Part of me is so excited for him and for us and yet part of me is a little terrified too. I can barely remember ever being here without my kids but I know it will all work out. I have a remarkable children and a great husband so we will all adjust together, I guess. Best of luck to you. I look forward to continued posts from you.
dawn in sac says
Congratulations! when you jump the net will appear and the fall will be freeing and beautiful. Enjoy the movement along the way.
Kelly Goldman says
Yay! How exciting for you two and your family! So fun (and terrifying) to step out and do something because God told you to!
carrie says
I an crying here waiting for my girls to get out is swimming lessons. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been feeling that push and its time I listened. Thanks fur sharing your story.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Go for it, Carrie! our thoughts and prayers are with you!
Angela R says
You guys are so brave! It takes a lot of courage to go down a new path and do things that push you out of your comfort zone. I wish you guys all the luck in the world and hope that you are fulfilled down this new path. I have been stuck at my job and hating every minute of it, but we keep saying its Government and has great benefits and I should be extremely grateful, but I’m not happy. I hope one day I’m as brave as you guys and find another path.
ashley @ the handmade home says
I get it, Angela! I totally do. Thinking of you… it’s hard! Hang in there.
Cindy says
I have tears in my eyes. We want to be in our own Hawaii too. And we’re older than you guys. I hope this is everything you need it to be, and better! xo
ashley @ the handmade home says
It will come, Cindy. At the right time, what is supposed to happen with come. And it will be amazing. Thinking of you!
Mindy says
Prayers for the best for you all as you step into the unknow. Faith allows us to take that step and, amazingingly, God is right there waiting to welcome us into the next phase. Blessings to you all!
jamie z. says
thank you. . . God knows why.
but thank you for your encouraging posts!
Nicole says
PHEWWWF!! I thought for one frightening moment you were leaving US! What a horrible thought that would be. I can honestly say that you have become my fav blog! I look forward daily to seeing what you guys have in store to share. The fact that you are putting yourself wholeheartedly into this blog makes me so very excited for what is to come. I wish you nothing but the best on this awesome journey!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Comments like this make my day… and make everything worth it. Thank you so much for your sweet support, Nicole!
Sally says
Thanks for this post. I do get ‘it’ after fighting health issues for nearly a year and losing my job from it, it has caused my life to slow down and although it’s been a struggle for our family…it has given me breathing space to evaluate what I want for my family and I. I’m re-evaluating everything from friends, work and how the house runs…which brought me to your site.
Good luck in your future endeavours …I look forward to seeing where your path and mine take us
Sally xxx
ashley @ the handmade home says
Sally – I am so sorry about the health stuff. I can honestly say that we don’t mean to, but its so easy to take that kinda stuff for granted until it really hits. Thinking of you and praying. Thank you for your sweet comment.
Regan Brooks says
Congratulations to all of you! The greatest journey begins with the smallest step – and though sometimes it feels as though that step is off the edge of a cliff, how else will you ever know if you can fly? 🙂
Heidi says
Oh my gosh, I’m crying. This post was beautiful and a little scary. It’s like pieces of your post were from my own mind. I feel like we are at a crossroads and need a shift/change, but we can’t identify what/how. I am continuing to pray on it and ask for guidance, but this post, this was wonderful in reminding me that I DON”T KNOW BETTER THAN GOD. I think I do. A lot. I often want to coerce things to what I think it right/good/perfect. But it doesn’t matter what I think.
Best wishes to your family as you figure out what’s next. This is awesome and it’s so empowering (not in an “I’m powerful” kind of way but in a “God’s powerful” kind of way) to step out in faith.
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you, Heidi. SO VERY true!
Cecilia says
Blessings on your new adventure in life! Looking forward to hearing about it all and how God is working through it.
Laura G. says
Beautifully written. This is how I felt when we decided to pursue adoption instead of pregnancy. It was not our plan…and it is so much more beautiful than I could have imagined! I am excited to see where this change takes you & Jamin. Praying for your family!
Tammy says
Ash I’m once again pleased with your transparency (this post and the laundry room lol)! To walk away from ministry is hard, my friends did last year from a large congregation. I support their decision and was glad that they didn’t loose themselves and their family when their season was over in that area of ministry. We must let go of yesterday to walk into tomorrow. And many of us want to hold onto yesterday and take it was on tomorrows journey. Na uh, not gonna happen. God Is Good and He’s Grace is Sufficent. So I welcome the future with you and Jamin and the sweet babies. Love you! BTW hold on to the blog foreva pa leeeeeeeeesssssssssss. Love you my sista in Christ!
ashley @ the handmade home says
Thank you so much, Tammy. You are too sweet. Ministry, with a paycheck attached, is amazing but it’s also very hard… sometimes, it can feel like a total lose/lose. ;} Thinking of your friends.
Tammy says
Sorry for all of the typos, shame on me. I didn’t have my eyes on lol and it was late! But I’m glad you understood the overall message.
Christine says
Oh I know change can be scary but that’s when a stranger’s point of view might help! God is working in a wonderful way in your lives, He is wanting to give you More, and Greater! But you have to let go to receive it! Can’t wait to continue following you to see what God is going to do your inspirational family! Blessings!
Nancy says
Awesome and kudos to you and your family for having the courage to step out in faith…I look forward to reading more about your adventures…by the way, you have such a great style in writing…something to perhaps keep in mind if you have a push to write a book.
Kyla F says
This is inspiring and encouraging to my heart. Also, I had a little party for one when I saw my art journal in there 🙂
Jessica says
Thank you for sharing this. I don’t know you, but I have had a very similar experience, not without heartbreak, of needing to leave a place that ‘s been home for 15 years, and the life I became within it, to walk to somewhere I don’t really know. I appreciate your openness. It makes you feel a little less disoriented, and the world a little smaller, God a little more touchable to hear someone with the same experience and understanding.
Amber says
We took the step away from full-time youth ministry a couple years ago, as well. We felt like it was necessary for us and our season in life. It is amazing how God has stretched us and taught us since then. And He has provided every step of the way, although there were times when we questioned how. Prayers for you and your family as you take this next step. Thankful for your ministry here, at The Handmade Home 🙂
Kala says
Sooo excited for you all! Your bravery & listening are inspiring and we can’t wait to see where He takes you 🙂
Mark Churchwell says
As I reflect, I do not regret many things that I have done, but I absolutely regret many things that I did not do. Go for it.
~Mark
Tanya says
YES! Thank you so much for sharing your hearts & lives. We are in a push right now, hanging on for dear life and excited for what is next. So happy for you, cannot wait to see what He is up to 🙂
xo, Tanya
Laura @ Finding Home says
so excited for you guys. We are just one year into our “jump” and things are still muddy – but we are so much better for it! You guys will do amazing things!